Those "Pesky" Cross Dressers!

Our recent posts here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the dressing habits of the average cross dresser versus transgender woman continue to garner interest. Here are a couple more comments:

1. Sally BendMarch 13, 2018 at 1:17 PM

   "You're note alone, hon - I've noticed the same thing. There are 2 trans support groups in my area, and I felt guilty for the longest time about noticing the same thing.
   
   There would always be one side of the room wearing beautiful dresses, with their hair and makeup done, looking happy to be among friends. Then there's the other side of the room, looking like they just threw on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, looking bored or exasperated.
   
   I stopped going to the one meeting because there was far too much scorn and condescension going both ways. I know it shouldn't matter what we wear, and I get the mindset that some girls don't feel the need to impress anybody anymore, but I look at those meetings as an event, much like going out to dinner with friends, and I appreciate a little effort."
2. FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMarch 13, 2018 at 1:51 PM

   "I had a cross dresser friend up until a couple of years ago. Replies from her/him (we knew each other as both) to my calls and emails ceased a while after I decided to live full-time as a woman. Prior to my decision, we spent many hours discussing our respective "conditions," and one night I did some math to put some quantity to what we felt was our "quality time" presenting as women. Between the weekly CD social club outings and about one weekend a month, multiplied by the number of years we thought we had left to be able to present (maybe just the ability to walk in high heels?), I came up with a total of 10,000 hours (500 hrs/yr X 20 years).
   
   The difference between us was, mainly, our respective definitions of "quality time." To her, it was to be dressed to the nines, where I felt that the ability to just be who I was amounted to quality for me. My 10,000 hours have long since been used up, even when only considering waking hours of each day. Had I tried to dress to the nines for all of them, though, I probably would have permanently damaged myself in those high heels! I do love to dress up when the occasion calls for it, but I don't need to do it to feel complete. I think that when one has to rely only on their allotted 10,000 hours (or whatever can be arranged), she wants to get as much out of it as possible.
   
   Which one of us, though, might have something to prove? Going for full-blown glamour may be an effort to prove something, but I think that presenting oneself minimally could also be an attempt to prove something, as well: "See, I am a woman no matter what I wear or how I present!" Then, we must also ask ourselves the question as to whom we are offering the proof. Is it to others, or is it to ourselves?"
3. First, on Sally's comment. I agree with the "scorn" comment. In fact, since two or three of the most abrasive members quit coming to the larger group I go to, (all trans women), meeting attendance has started to go up, although another transitioning woman seems to have the ability to step into the void on occasions and be over bearing. 
4. Connie, of course I think the proof of being a woman lies within each of us. Over the years, I too have lost contact with several acquaintances who went on to have genital realignment surgery. It could be we grew apart because I was too involved in my own transition and I felt somehow they had arrived and wouldn't  care about me. Now I'm not so sure.
5. As far as presenting to the groups I go to now, I try to wear tasteful but still fashionably strong makeup but I normally never wear anything other than jeans or leggings, with a nice sweater. My look represents the woman I have become.
6. Thanks to Connie and Sally for your comments.

Transgender Versus Cross Dressing

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote a post somewhat comparing what cross dressers wear to my support meetings, in comparison to transgender women. Although I don't attach any significant positive or negative ideas to the idea...cross dressers just seem to out dress the trans girls normally. For a number of reasons, probably.

First and foremost, the trans girls don't really have anything to prove by going the extra distance to dress up for a casual meeting. Secondly, and just as important, cross dressers just don't have the overall time and experience to think, well, I will have plenty opportunities in the future to dress up, if desired. Finally, thirdly, most cross dressers are just learning their way in a feminine public world and still haven't settled into the woman they still are to become.

Interestingly, I received two comments from our regular readers on the same subject:

1. Paula GoodwinMarch 12, 2018 at 1:37 PM

   "It is quite noticeable at the group I attend, that it is those who have transitioned who most dress down, and those who have to make the most of their rare opportunities who are the most "Glamorous" this last week end there were at least two of us there wearing jeans and a sweater and with no make up at all."
2.            Paula! I agree with you. Thanks for the input and writing it better :)
3. 
   FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMarch 12, 2018 at 4:33 PM

   "Well, if you haven't upgraded your style to the cross dresser level, at least you're buying your coffee at a coffee shop instead of a gas station now. :-)
   
   Speaking of deciding what to wear to a meeting, I have come to the conclusion that I don't care what the rest of them (be they cross dressers or SRS transgender women) are wearing. I choose from my wardrobe just what I feel like wearing for the day (or evening). If I'm going to err at all, I would rather it be at such a meeting, rather than how I might be seen by the general public. I used to care too much about how other transgender women might be sizing me up. That is simply ridiculous, when you think about it, yet I have felt more judgement on my presentation from the trans community than I have from the general public. Around here, though, the cross dressing organization and the transitioning group generally keep away from each other. I have attended meetings for both, and I've worn jeans and a t-shirt to the CD meetings or a dress and heels with the other group. I may get a few looks with either, but I think they have a better idea of who I am by the time the meeting is over. The truth is, after all, that most of us just want to be who we always saw ourselves to be. So, that's what I do!
   
   It's what we often talk about - all in the confidence you show; not in the clothes you wear."
4. Thanks to you both! 
5. Connie, much of my coffee snobbery comes from the fact I now live in a major metropolitan area with coffee choices outside of gas stations and Tim Horton s! Ironically, confidence was one of the main topics with the cross dressers at last night's meeting.
6. 
   

Monday, Monday

Being retired, on occasion, the days always have a tendency to crush together, except Monday's, it seems. Today, I have to deliver a package I'm shipping to the local post office, write a blog post and take care of other essentials. Past that, seemingly, negotiating around a very needy cat, who wants to help write the blog post is the main problem. I am not the best typist in the world and even more challenged when a cat is laying on one arm. Then again, maybe I should let her write the post

I do though, have a cross dresser - transgender support group meeting tonight. I plan on volunteering to do more outreach work with the group, which should meet with mixed results, on my part. Sometimes I'm up to the challenge, sometimes not so much. I do know some of the trans women who did it in the past from the group and technically I know I can hold my own.

Since I have been retired for a couple years now, I have found I have very specific routines which are tough to break. For example, today I have to apply at least basic makeup to go to the post office earlier, then refine it for the meeting. As far as clothes go, I try to change up my outfits for the meetings, which are basically casual.  Since many have had SRS and live full time, they have a tendency to not dress up as far as the cross dressers who attend. Plus, I do always try to stop at my favorite coffee shop on the way to partake of one their special "blends" for the evening.

So you have a look into my very "normal" transgender life.

Oh, by the way...my cat says Hi!