Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

This post was written back in 2012 and considers the idea of a cross dressing = transgender addiction:

"I was working on my book last night and going over chapter ideas.  One of the old ideas I always felt  ridiculous was cross dressing being an entry gateway to transsexualism. Not unlike the marijuana/ heroine connection. If you put on your Mom or sister's clothes, sooner or later you would be going under the SRS knife. If you took a hit on a bong, heroine and ruin was in your future.

Years later as I think about it, I can see how the connection can be made. As I explored my life as a closeted cross dresser, for the most part I was just confused. Nothing was enough. Dressing more, a new outfit or wig and even passing well at the mall were only temporary fixes. Something was missing.

I have smoked the "heathen weed" but thank goodness never went any farther in the drug culture but have heard the impact cocaine or heroin has on a mind. I can compare my fix in a similar sense I guess.  Of course without the terrible health problems drug use causes.

The end result was I finally ended the short term fixes and faced up to my true self. I found my own transgender religion. I vividly remember the night not so long ago it happened. I was me and I embraced myself totally for the first time in my life.

I can see however the feeling that night could have been compared to the great feeling of wellness heroine supposedly gives you. The difference is I don't need a hit every day to maintain the high.

That's the reason I can say cross dressing was not a gateway drug for me, I found I used it to mask who I really was. The whole time I was transgender...DUH! But certainly others may be different in that cross dressing may be the only gender fix they ever need for whatever reason. No different than drinking a beer when you come home from work and not a fifth of bourbon.

Life is kind of like that...right?"

A Lazy Sunday?

It's hard to believe my fave time of the year (fall) is nearly over and Christmas is approaching quickly with a touch of snow even in the forecast later in the week.

The good news is my "The Ohio State Buckeye" football team pulled out a hard fought victory over Wisconsin with a crippled quarterback none the less. Also, the Bengals can't lose to the Steelers today because they don't play until Monday night.

I did see a cute Buckeye sweat shirt yesterday with a "V" neck which may look sharp with leggings and slouch boots I could wear around football bowl time. I am still looking for an article or two of clothing to buy with my gift card from my daughter. (It's burning a hole in my purse!)

Essentially, I am looking for a longer black or silver gray sweater top I could possibly wear on New Year's Eve this year. It's looking as if I also will have a couple of potential "dress up" affairs coming up for the holidays. I really don't want to wear the same thing if I can help it, even though I won't be seeing the same people.

So, while this Sunday is a bit lazy, looking ahead isn't. Naturally, you will find how a transgender woman's life gets as cluttered as a cis woman quickly,  as we cross the MtF gender boundaries.

Thanks to All!

This morning I went shopping for a new top or two, to make good use of my daughter's gift of a birthday gift card.

I ended up picking out a forest green hip length sweater top with lace inserts across the shoulders and down the arms. I then added a pair of rose gold hoop earrings to finish my mini buying spree, which was completed as we had to take both cars to the garage to get fixed, too.

Throughout the morning (including a stop at another store) I was never mis-gendered. In fact, when I went to the dressing room to try on the top, the lady in charge took me straight to the woman'a dressing rooms.

Plus, at the auto repair shop we go to, Liz and I were referred to as "ladies" several times.

I suppose it helped I finally colored my hair again and replaced the predominant gray theme with a dark auburn one.

If I do it correctly, my hair is so soft I can't hardly believe it. I think I am finally getting it through my thick noggin (and hair) how to rinse all the color rinse out of my hair and use the proper amount of conditioner and make sure it is properly rinsed also.

At the least, it all gives me the extra confidence to face the world as a transgender woman.

While we are on the subject of confidence, thanks to all of you loyal followers here in Cyrsti's Condo, Twitter and through Facebook! It's all appreciated.:)