The Disappearing CrossDresser?

Saturday I was supposed to meet another of the 'family' for lunch. To be fair, I don't how she identifies; crossdresser, transgender, or "gurl". We were to meet in a very well known coffee and sandwich shop (not called Starbucks)  but for whatever reason, coffee with her never happened.

Since I had arranged my day to meet her, yes I was more disturbed than I normally am. If you are backing off-tell me. Won't be the first time. Saturday's deal is not the point of this post though.

I began to wonder how many under the LGBT - CD umbrella over the years I have met (even if on Facebook or comments to Cyrsti's Condo) who have faded away. Or abruptly disappeared. 

Of course I have several ideas like:

1. Ill health or death
2. The wife or family found out
3. They grew tired of the fantasy of being the second coming of Marilyn Monroe
4. The sheer amount of work to make a transition got to be too much
5. Financial resources

I could probably go on, but you get the point. Plus, I need to say I only really know in person a couple trans people-one woman-one man. Then, here on line, I can claim several more like Connie, Shelle, and Stana (who I have met once) and Paula. Then, there are the transgender veterans like Carla Lewis who I share an extra bit of history. (Shelle again too.)

I guess I should look at the point of this blog as a positive influence on potential LGBTQ family members. If I can shed any light on the process, my work is complete. 

Just one thing, if you want to meet me for coffee-don't stand me up-please. 

Good Question?

From Connie: " I had an incident the other night where a guy was really pushing me to submit to his lame attempts at picking me up. I finally had to take refuge in the ladies room, and then took a seat at a table of strangers to get away from him. The women at the table were happy to offer me their "protection". This is a subject for another blog, I think, but why is it that some people just assume a trans-woman is presenting herself to the world with sex in mind? This guy was beyond the point of using education. He's a total creep, but he's not the only one out there."

If you allow me to make this post the spot to discuss it...I think a fertile mix of you know what leads to what you brought up Connie. First of all, there are a big group of male creeps and the number seems to be growing all the time. While I subscribe to the idea women should be allowed to wear what they want-when they want. But, increasingly, if you are a CD or a trans girl out by yourself, then care in choosing what you wear is more important. (Cis women grow up knowing that.)

I think the worst offenders are the group I call fetish cross dressers. I could be biased because I have seen them in action. They are not sexy-or even pretty - but -as Connie said there are creeps who are attracted.

Why? Some of these guys are undecided on their own sexuality and another cross dressed man or transgender woman works just fine for them. In fact, we are downright exotic creatures to many. And (this one really aggravates me) is when a man thinks I am desperate somehow for attention (his). Really?

So, there you go Connie. I am sure you have plenty of ideas too. The problem these days is the amount of violence directed at women as a whole and transgender women in particular is more dangerous than ever before.

Keep that pepper spray handy ladies!

Girl's Night Out Part Two

Actually this is part two from the last post I wrote about an evening I spent years ago out with two much younger cis women socializing.  Fast forward to about three years ago, when I was invited to a birthday dinner with my partner and her friends. Looking back on it, that night was my first real girls night out of substance and it meant a lot to me.
Primarily I wanted to see what really went on on yet another "mystical" things women do that men aren't invited to or don't really want to be anyhow. 
Of course the vibe was different. Without any men present, probably everyone was freed to speak more openly about relationships, family etc. 
So I guess (not unlike my first post) I was fairly quiet again-as I learned what I was missing and did I fit.
Above all I did feel as if I fit and should have been playing in the "girl's sandbox" my entire life.
Definitely, " Girls NIght Out" part two represented another high point to my mtf gender transition at that time!