Feeling Guilty This Year?

Halloween (named after the patron saint of crossdressers everywhere) St.Weenie (just kidding) is fast approaching. 

Some time ago here in Cyrsti's Condo I mentioned Liz and I planed to accept an invite to a gay couples Halloween Party this year. As the pumpkin turned though, her son's birthday is on Halloween, so getting the family together was difficult. She had to do it on the day of this year.

So, for the first time ever (or my first two years in the Army in 1972-73) I will not be going to a Halloween Party of any kind. For several days I felt very guilty about not having to worry about coming up with the most creative costume EVER! It would be kind of tough to just show up as myself and say I'm Caitlin Jenner? Although I believe I have some her same style of clothes buried in my closet from the 80's. 

That's OK though, I have been fortunate to have had my share of some very fun times which happened to coincide with my first efforts to come out of the closet. Also, I should mention the Wicca/Pagan spiritual faith Liz and I follow has it's own different beliefs in "All Hallows Eve." or an even more ancient Celtic (NOT the basketball team!) festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. Been to a few of those too!

So even though I am feeling a bit guilty of not being able to join one one or two of what would prove to be a very enjoyable evening-it's time to move on this year...and not on a broom!!!!

Research Day

The problem I have now with all my pending gender marker changes is that I'm trying too hard to connect invisible dots which aren't really there.

Example? The paper work to change my name and gender with my veterans administration care. In many ways it is the most important for me simply because I interact one on one with more people - right now. As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo before, I won't have to guess which name the staff is going to use with me-or the right pronoun. The fine print says complete forms and send to the "Privacy Officer". That's cool, but which one? My home provider hospital in Dayton, or a higher up? At any rate, I am going to call later today too see if I can get an answer. The VA tops my list of changes to make first, or at the least get started so I can "hurry up and wait."

After that, I have a little bit more of a different agenda than some of my other younger transgender sisters. Since I am already retired, I don't have to make a social security change a priority yet because I don't need it to apply for jobs.

On the flip side of the coin (no pun intended) I have to be careful with my Social Security name change "syncing up" with my bank for electronic deposits. Plus, how about those pesky loan payments still in my male name? Shouldn't matter if the loan number still remains the same. See, all of those questions are great to keep me company at 4:30 in the morning.

Plus I have not forgotten to factor in my legal name change which will be needed and a new driver's license.

All of this is proving to me I was right in my noggin...this could be very as complex as other parts of my transition - up to and including HRT. (Which is another story right now.)

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!!! Listen closely as another "Sunday" Recap is hitting your virtual front porch! Here along the Ohio near Cincinnati, we are dipping into the 30's (or lower) for a couple days before climbing back towards the 70's. Ideal for leggings, boots and big bulky sweaters. Lets get a hot "cup o joe" and get started.

Page One-The week That WAS-or Wasn't: Very definitely, it was the week that WAS for me. If you follow the blog at all you know Thursday my VA (Veterans Administration) psychologist signed off on my all important paper work to proceed changing my legal gender markers-which means my name and gender on documents. I have often written and thought the legal path is as challenging as navigating the world as a transgender woman at all. The next step for me this week is determining the sequence I want to do it in.  I can tell you for sure I am sick and tired of being called my male name at the VA, which is not their fault because that is what is in the system!

Page Two- Trans Allies: For some reason (other than yet another trans paranoia) I have read certain "T-peeps" blister transgender "allies." I thought I was missing something? Didn't I want/need more peeps on my side? Liz and I's "Meet Group" on Friday was one great example and my psychologist was another last week. Let me point out the group has absolutely nothing to do with LGBTQ causes and probably many wouldn't know the meaning anyhow. But they accept me warmly for who I am. So I guess they became allies out of "osmosis?" But I love them none the less and a whole lot more for them being - well-them. As they do me.

Page Three-Opinion: I have always considered paying forward a major goal of my life and I may have a yet another chance to help out coming up. In my discussions with my psychologist I mentioned several residents who sat in with my regular Doc's who asked if I had ever-or would talk to a Medical College class on the do's and don'ts of handling a trans patient. Of course I said no, but I would. Then she (my psychologist) said, would I be interested in talking to one of her interns. Again, I said sure-I would be honored. I hope something comes of the invitation because my VA clinic as a whole has become very diverse over the recent years - mainly with the help (again) of my psychologist. Great company to be included in-if only an itty bit!!!

Page Four- The Back Page: Well kids, time to wrap this up and put together breakfast vittles before the second half of my B&B football squads take the field. Of course my ultimate thrill yesterday came when "The team up North" lost to Sparty (Michigan State) in the last second-then my THE Ohio State Buckeyes beat up on Penn State. Then today the Cincinnati Bengals continue down their unbeaten path. To all of you though, I  hope the sun is shining in your world! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!!!

Luv ya All!!!