Back to the Gender Alphabet

Every once in a while I have to slow down my everyday life again I try to reestablish who I am to others by explaining it all to myself.


In this weeks Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition, I responded to a comment from Connie on how I sounded as if I was somehow "talking down to" or "demeaning" cross dressers. Surely, Connie was right, but even more surely I do not feel that way. Ironically, the same subject came up with my VA Doc visit this week. One of his first questions was, "How long have you cross dressed?" Finally (I'm not the sharpest tack in the box) I came up with this answer for the average binary gender civilian: I have been a cross dresser since the age of 12, I have been transgender since birth. It was a "birth right" I didn't ask for but here I am.


Most of the time, at that point, I have to backtrack into the basic difference between gender and sexuality and hope for the best.


My problem is now, I risk offending the very group I respect to the max-cross dressers. After all, I identified with Cd's for decades and even did my best to hide behind my dresses to extend my life. All of it just quit working. I wasn't a cross dresser anymore than I was the macho guy down the street. I just took it all to a point of no return. None of that makes me any better or worse than the next person-cross dresser or transgender!


Finally, in this post, while we are talking about gender words, lets talk about the word I consider a gender slur. That of course is the "tra__ny" word which as far as I know still remains a fave word used by enabled older cis gay men (Rude Paul.) If you have a strong feeling one way or another, Frock Magazine is running a survey you can take here.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Kerplunk!" another edition of our Sunday Edition has just hit your virtual front porch!  Get your hot "Cup o Joe" snuggle in your fave jammies and lets get started:


Page One: The Week that Was or Wasn't. Across the country, news from the transgender world seemed to slow a bit with stories such as the "Transparent" television success and the "Leelah Alcorn" tragedy seemed to fade a bit. Speaking of Leelah, Liz and I were traveling up the very busy Interstate Highway 75 between Cincinnati and Dayton, Ohio yesterday and she noticed a very androgynous fellow driver in another car looking at us. Perhaps, she saw my "Leelah-Fix Society" bumper sticker?
Page Two: I Was Misquoted?"  No actually, I wasn't but what I wrote was taken out of context. Here it is:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 24, 2015 at 4:49 PM " Cyrsti, I have a challenge for you....Is not your statement, "almost as big as being a cross dresser to being a transgender person" something that a trans nazi might say? Well, it certainly sounds like something a "proud member" of a certain social network has said in the past (still being said, probably, but I divorced myself from that network years ago). I ask this because sometimes we may not be aware of "what we is or what we aint". ;) "  Yups Connie you are right and over the years I did grow up in the community (as you did Connie) with a forced understanding of where I "belonged" in a system with transsexuals at the top and cross dressers at the bottom. My fault was I did not add my usual disclaimer to what I wrote. First off, I never ever want to sound like I am insulting anyone who cross dresses and definitely DO NOT want to infer I would be putting myself up on any sort of pedestal-ever. Please forgive me if I do! Thanks Connie!

Page Three: What's Up Doc? Last week, I wrote about my first visit to an endocrinologist who cared more whole heartedly about my gender transitional well being. Actually, a Veteran's Administration assigned Doc. I know it is easy for me to sit here and write about taking advantage of nearly free medical care as I continue down my HRT road-but not having it can be problematic to your health. Real problematic. My new Doc even called me personally Friday night at 6 to "re consult" with me about taking me off the estrogen pill and putting me on the patch because it would be easier on my liver.  Are you kidding me? I can't remember the last time I got a personal call from a Doctor and at 6 at night? I thought he was going to tell me I was going to die!
Page Four: The Back Page-Editorial:  Age gives you a certain confidence that you have seen it all.  Going through a gender transition tosses all of that into the dumpster as I continue to experience. On one hand all the new "bright and shiny" new toys I get to play with are wonderful, on the other, I still wonder how anyone could ever think a transgender person is going through all of this because we merely want to. I have any number of things I want and quite a few I need. I want a new car and my grand kids to be happy but I needed to transition to save my life.


Everyone have a great week! The Goddess willing and the creeks don't rise-we will be back next week with another Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition."

Hows That Working For 'Ya?'

Every once in a while I try to pause and look around at life as a transgender person and I see for certain, there is no right or wrong way to do this. Lately, seemingly one major change has been I haven't read much recently from groups I call the "Rad Fem's" or the "Trans Nazi's" and more from those describing their experiences: Like-

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2015 at 6:52 PM

I use my own voice when I sing. I used to wonder if people were taking me for a drag queen - or even an "impersonator". What I learned, though, is that, by just being genuine and true to myself, people have accepted me as just that. This doesn't apply only to being an entertainer, however, as being genuine and true to oneself always will reap great reward. If you doubt who you are, people will doubt if you are (or worse, "what" you are).

And:

PamJanuary 22, 2015 at 11:29 PM

Crysti, I definitly agree about the Columbus, Ohio being more accepting then other parts of Ohio. I live in Westerville a suburb. My form of advocacy involves being open about myself where I work, the groups I belong to (non-trans) and at church. This give people a chance to see we are mostly just like them and not some exotic person that they find offensive.

Using a well worn term from the "old country" - "you is what you is and not what you ain't." No amount of surgery or HRT is going to change you but it will change how you view the world...a difference almost as big as being a cross dresser to being a transgender person. My partner Liz used to be fond of telling me how wonderful it was for me to be able to reinvent myself.  Then we learned together that wasn't quite the case. I was just me all along, just hidden.  Sometimes good-sometimes not so good.

Then again: 

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2015 at 6:14 PM

I don't think that we can ever wipe out, completely, sixty-years-worth of all the crap. Maybe if we were given sixty more years to do so? Well, only if I can still wear my 4" heels - otherwise, I can't imagine getting that old. I've managed to make it through a whole day without thinking of my "condition", but the fact that I finally came to realize that I had done that, patting my own back for it only makes me realize that I've got a long way to go yet.

Don't we all!