A Long Trans Woman's Shopping List

This post is from a couple of known resources, "Autumn Sandeen" and "Pam's House Blend".
 It's a very long list called a "A Shopping List of Trans Woman's Shame"
As I read it I saw one, then two then many items I wanted to pass along.
I soon realized I shouldn't highlight my own agenda's (again) and let you decide.
Read it here.

Are We There Yet?

I have never had the luxury of feeling comfortable in either gender.
Can't totally claim womanhood anatomically but feel comfortable in all the female community. Communication, friendship and all.
Never could claim manhood. Existed in it, was sometimes successful with it but never felt secure in it.
Never did I wake up thinking I was only a boy but never thinking I was only a girl...never.
As with many of my posts here, I'm only writing this from an informational view point. Maybe you have been or are in the same place. Ironically, a place that leads to scorn from within our own community.
What began my introspection into who I am and where I am going as a transgender human came from a thesis project I am contributing to.
Here are a couple excerpts from my response to a gender stereotype question:

"I believe humans are desperate for something basic to cling to and gender is the most basic one. That's all good when there are only two recognized genders. What about a third? I have no recollection of having the luxury of thinking I was one gender.

Many of the ancient Native American tribes believed in dual gender spirits in humans and somewhere along the line (major religions) many of the beliefs were lost.

I don't really identify with the gay community (not a drag queen) or either primary gender.  I do my absolute best to use my look to shout female but know that until I can birth a child (never) or have monthly periods but I can only really say I am a feminized male who (I think) feels female. Who really knows? If you were born either gender and never questioned it-you know. The rest of us? The best case is we can pick and chose the best of both worlds. The worst case is more prevalent. Confusion, depression and lack of understanding.

Two things are sure...I can only know what makes me feel natural  and that is coming as close as I can to doing stereotypical girl things.  One of my biggest learning experience was adjusting to the dynamics of feminine communication and power structures...all so much more complex than male ones.

All of this is just a huge feast for thought and no, we are not there yet.

When is There a "T" in Crossdresser?

Recently, I have had the chance to explain to others my own transition from crossdresser to transgender person.
I understand each of our cases is different but I wanted to write about mine in the hopes I can understand the process more. Hopefully parts of it will ring true to you!
I've always believe the true transsexual kids have it better if there is such a thing in our culture. They start with a clear knowledge of their true gender.The rest of struggle with a huge why?
For the rest of us our transgendered existence starts off with a fetish attraction to clothes of the opposite gender.
I'm not an expert, but I'm thinking this is more prevalent in males more than females.  Hose, bras, girdles and "borrowed" feminine clothes are irrestible attractions.
Now, if the clothes stay more of a fetish to a person and become the end result for "dressing up" chances are you are the classic cross dresser. Let me point out, I am not making any value judgements-so don't attack me.
Where the "T" starts to become part of the cross dresser may start in the mirror.
Certainly any of us live in our mirrors.  The reflection serves as a validation of our chosen gender. How the validation works is the important part.
Do you see yourself looking the part of your chosen gender or do you see yourself as who you really are?
Here are the steps I took in my journey.
Yes, in the earliest days, the bras, hose and other female clothes were sexually stimulating to me-but not for long. Something was missing.
The missing "T" in my being took a long time to understand. Gender validation became less and less in how I looked and more and more on how I felt.
I'm not a huge fan of long drawn posts on subjects, so I will write more on this later including why many of us are obsessed with less than flattering photography of ourselves.