Take Me Out To the Ballgame!

I'm certainly not the first transgender girl to go to an NFL game and hopefully I won't be the last. It's a god given right to love football if you are a guy or a girl or both!
Yes I did go to a Monday night NFL game with 3 friends.  My initial reaction was WOW - this trip is not for the faint of heart!
I have been to a bunch of games, but never as a girl. So I knew what to expect from the other side.
Game time temperature was about 55 degrees which was beautiful for Cincinnati in November. I was able to wear flats, jeans and a vest coat over a sweater. That's all good.
We had a great parking pass and only had to walk through one tailgate area. My major problem was   worrying about how my hair looked. LoL! On the other hand,  I just couldn't loosen up and feel the moment. Remember, a couple years ago, you couldn't have convinced me to do this.
At this point we are moving with the mob of people into the stadium and through a security checkpoint. We all had to open our jackets for a pat down. Not much choice but I tried to pick a younger female guard.  She patted me down and knew I wasn't all I appeared to be and kind of smiled as I went through and on to the ticket gate. Internally, I breathed a sigh of relief although I didn't really think this spot would be a problem.
The ticket taker was a breeze since they never look up anyhow and we all got into to the stadium as a group.
One of the other two women had to use the bathroom, so I rounded us up some beers while she was in there. I went to one of the vendors just selling out of his case and he did look up enough to see he didn't have to card me. Good, but not a compliment?
At this point the theme of the evening was being set. Yes I did get some recognition but not much and no real negatives. The problem was still me! I didn't have enough courage to use the restroom to check my look I felt as if I was flying blind.
The good thing was I didn't have time to dwell on it as we were headed for our seats and they were excellent!  We were within a comfortable distance of the field and sitting around a more "upscale" clientele.  I only had to shuffle past four older guys to get to my seat and they showed no signs of recognition. I did think I heard "that's a dude" on the way down the steps, but I can't be sure.
At this point, I had mixed emotions. If you are a sports fan and are in a NFL Stadium, they do it right. It's a spectacle and I was excited to be there! BUT those damn lights were not doing me any favors! I did manage to pull out my compact and sneak a peek and that was a mistake! Too late to run and hide!
Game time was still about ten minutes away and the camera that travels on the wires above the field was roving all over. If you never have seen one, it is about 50' above the field and has tremendous flexibility on where they can go with it. Well, here's my fantasy story of the evening. I was watching it as it came to our area of the stands and literally stopped right in front of us. So here was "Big Brother" staring at me! Now, logic dictates the camera was shooting the whole section and the live broadcast of the game hadn't even started yet. But logic also could dictate the control room guys had spotted the TG girl in the crowd. It's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Finally the game got started and everyone decided to stand through the whole half.  Not so much a problem but I'm glad I'm wore the comfortable flats and not my new boots! The best part was that no one in the section was really giving me a second glance. Maybe this won't be so bad after all? I still had a long way to go however and  the next big decision was coming up. Do I stay put or go during halftime?
Well, I didn't have to "go" so I stayed put. I got out my cell phone and got busy sending some pix of the stadium and text's to friends. Many of which didn't know "how" I attended the game.
If you don't know, NFL halftimes aren't very long and everyone was back and ready for the second half. With the new half a few new problems appeared. One of which was sitting next to my friend who got the tix. He switched seats with a friend and was very obnoxious.  He was bothering her about her Steeler" coat and looking over her shoulder at me. I kept thinking "here it comes" but it never did from him. The worst that ever happened was some guys behind me tapping me on my shoulder for a "high 5" or two. In addition, there were three or four middle aged guys a couple rows down who would look over their shoulders and lean in and talk.
So! All of this could have been just paranoia.
As we were leaving, I had a guy stop be and thought he knew me and an obnoxious woman get in my face and stare. That was it.
Bottom line is I'm really happy that I went. I'm really unhappy I didn't ALLOW myself to enjoy it more.Yes,  the major determination of you being able to do this is how you look but there is so much more.
I'm very sure there will be a next time. Everyone in the group seemed to really enjoy themselves and the lady who got the tix and I get along well.
The only problem I see is the next invite is mine!
The next time I will relax and be me!

"Old" Quote of the Day!

From "M. Butterfly":
Song Liling: Comrade! Why in Beijing opera are woman's roles traditionally played by men?
 Comrade Chin: I don't know. Most probably a remnant of the reactionary and patriarchal social structure.
Song Liling: No. It's because only a man knows how a woman is supposed to act.

Kind of says it all?

I Touched A Girl.

As I left work last night, I figured I could actually go out and enjoy myself alone...with others. Get a seat, watch a couple of the late college football games and sort of "zone" out.
Good plan until I got to my pub and found only two seats open at the whole bar. One of which had a jacket on it. A woman was standing one seat away from the open one so I asked her was the seat taken? She was every bit as tall as me and we locked eyes as she verbally bitched slapped me with "yes, and I'm sitting there!" I really didn't know (or care) if she read me as TG or just another woman invading her space. I wasn't asking about that seat anyhow and just took the next one down.
About five minutes later she turned back to me and said she knew me and we had talked in another spot. Did I remember her? I wanted to desperately and finally did. One afternoon we had sat close to each other in a tavern downtown. At that time I had mentally labeled her as either bi or gay . She is very attractive in an assertive way. I followed her lead (with my own personal confidence) and we got along and talked until her brother came to pick her up.I figured I wouldn't probably see her again. Until last night!
We chatted for awhile and she introduced me to her 3 friends and they went on their way. I thought they had left until about a half hour later someone was lightly rubbing my back and saying "pretty lady". Fortunately it was her. I obviously thanked her and ordered another beer.
This time I could see her in the mirror and was trying to muster enough courage to return the "touch" on the way out. Assuming I left before her.  I always (in both genders) have never had the courage to do this. Until last night.
I paid my tab and walked by her group on the way out.. I stopped and lightly brushed her bare arm with my fingernails and said "thanks and I'll see you!" I kept on walking and she said wait and motioned me back. I got a hug and a chance to talk to the group for a couple minutes.
I'm so glad a finally found the courage to step forward a little with others. Better yet, I hope I see her again!