Act Like You've Been There!

Humans are natural predators, they do sense when something is wrong. When you consider your presentation as a woman, your attitude should be a big priority.  You, after all, are doing nothing wrong.
Now, put the high heel on the other foot.
What if you see one of us in public and it is fairly obvious.  Do you say anything?
What if you are wrong? Are you going to hurt the other person's feelings? Do they really want to know you read them?
I'm sure you can add at least 5 more questions to this list, but would you like to be approached?
I would from the stand point I would really love to find a friend who gets out and lives life as I do. If she is shopping too as a girl-that's a great start to a friendship!
However, my ego would be bruised as it always is when someone picks me out as a guy not a girl.
The bitch in me dictates that the other person doesn't know the truth until I talk to them.
The instances of all of this happening have been exceedingly rare.  I would say, over a ten year period I have spotted around five individuals who I was positive were transgender.
Two were walking the same mall I was in. Two were in stores and one came into my favorite casual bar in heels and hose. One other time I was approached by a guy who said he dressed.
That's it!
The only one I talked to was obviously the guy. I was going into my "spot" for a drink and I asked him if he wanted to come in. Yes it is a straight place and no he didn't.
The one I wished I would have talked to was the "heels and hose" girl but she drank her wine and left before I even knew it.
All the others looked so nervous, I was afraid to say a word.
Maybe they broke the number one rule? Did I notice something was wrong with the way they looked or the way they acted? Probably actions on two and looks on two.
The bottom line is-if you are going to say something positive do it! You can approach us in typical female style. "Wow, I love those earrings!"
If you think I'm a girl and you really do like them, that's great! If not, that's OK too!

Red Head Hall Of Fame candidate "Lola Davidovich"!
I happened to see her in the 1994 film "Intersection" with Richard Gere and I was mesmerized by her style and of course the hair!
The way the makeup and costume people worked with the browns and tans of her clothes was amazing.
I was in love! With her look.
We have discussed the sexual disconnect I have with women. It literally took me years and years to figure out I was not lusting after women sexually but visually. I wanted to look like them, to wear clothes like them and to experience the same sensations.
What we haven't discussed are some of the ways to do just that. On a whim, I subscribed to the "Fashionista.com" website.
Most of the info is fashion info about clothes and designers I know nothing about and could care less.
Every now and then, however, some really good ideas are presented. The review on "L'Oreal's Magical New Primer Base" was wonderful information as was the ranking of the world's best fashion stores. Tied in with all of that was the news that the big fancy stores have started to stock sizes up to 20 in some departments.
Now I can't afford any of that. But I can afford the "L'Oreal" and I do see some of the stores they ranked.
My goal is to piece together fashion trends and mold them into my own style and budget.
If you are interested in "Fashionista" just hit them up and subscribe. The only downside is they will hit you back with a lot of info on your email. Again, you have to sort through for something that pertains to you- unless you are tall, skinny 21 and gorgeous! In which case I hate you! Just kidding.
I do get many questions and comments about my look and like anything else it does take work. This is just a another tool I use. Plus a picture of "Lola"!

Let's Be Careful Out There!

If you have followed the developing story of "Victoria Carmen White" in
New Jersey, I don't have to tell you about the sadness involved with this senseless act. She was found murdered.
Recently, the family and her best friends have stepped forward to wonder why investigators used her male name 4 years following a legal name change and 9 years after her SRS. (Sex Reassignment Surgery) The final cruel jab in a transgendered person's life. 
Misty, one of the visitors to the blog has an equally sad story on her "Hub Pages" Blog. I have added a link for you to read the whole story.
Briefly,  it seems she made an "over the fence" friendship with a lady who lived next door. After some conversation, the woman confided in Misty  her daughter committed suicide-because she thought she was gay.

"Victoria Carmen White"

I can not begin to speak to the indescribable pain suffered by the loved ones of these two individuals. I buried a wife but burying a child would be so much worse.
I know I'm "speaking to the choir" here, but what triggers such  violence against transgender people?
Is it the same basic reasoning that leads most men to think we are very loose sexual beings waiting to satisfy their every need?
Victoria was obviously a very attractive woman.  Allegedly, her attackers learned of her past and became violent.
Answers to all of this can only exist in better communication from and about the transgender community.
The "T" in LBGT must become more important.
I know it's difficult. We are too much girl for the gay guys and too much guy for the lesbians and we get compared with the drag queens. It's easy to say the transgender folks shouldn't have been in the grouping to begin with.
I wish I was powerful and rich enough to do more than write about all of this. I do feel things are changing, but not nearly fast enough for Victoria and the daughter of Misty's friend.
May whatever force you believe in-protect you until society changes. Hopefully in time to slow down these senseless acts of violence.