Staying in Your Own Lane

 

Image from UnSplash

Staying in each others own lane has been increasingly difficult for the transgender community. 

Much of our existence changed under the four year rule of a certain former president who brought out hate in our country. All of a sudden, more and more people became less reserved about changing lanes and invading the LGBT world. Recently I have a close friend whose world was invaded by gender bigots crashing her world. It happened at a relatively upscale casual dining restaurant very close to where my wife Liz and I live and I felt so bad for my friend. 

To make a long and personal experience short, her and her wife's dinners were ruined by other patrons who referred to her as a "Fa--ot" and worse, such as religious slurs. In our experience in the venue, I was laughed at once by a server but that was about it. Even then, we felt bad enough about it to never go back. Plus, that was years ago and people and times have changed. So many think it is acceptable to hurt others with their feelings. So now, it could have been so much worse for me. 

I have said or written it many times how fortunate I am to have Liz with me most of the time when I interact with the public. She is approximately the same height as I am and opens many gender doors for me and others have a tendency to stay in their own lanes. An example happened a couple days ago when Liz went to one of her pre surgical appointments. As always, I didn't have any issues in the doctors offices and especially when we went to a nearby coffee shop to order a cup of caffeine and a breakfast sandwich. The coffee shop was very near one of the  local major university campuses, so the extreme majority of the patrons were college students who certainly had no gender issues other than their own.

In other words, all the people I encountered had no reason to leave their own lane and enter mine and I was free to enjoy my own transgender life. 

For all of you who are attempting to live as your authentic gender selves, I hope people stay out of your lane and you can enjoy your life. I know I am preaching to the choir but you deserve a stable and pleasant gender existence. My blog gently weeps for all of you locked in your dark closets or are just out in the world trying to stay in your own lane. I know my basics of being out in the world is easy, be nice to everyone I can and tip well when I need to. I also benefit on occasion from being easily remembered because of how well I present as a transwoman or don't. 

Either way, I am sadly waiting for the day when a gender bigot decides to veer out of their lane and into my own.