Who Called the Fire Department?

Connie responded to my post yesterday concerning when I answered the front door with no make up:

"Dressing like that is what I call "BLANDING IN." I went grocery shopping this morning, and I'm sorry to say that I felt over-dressed, wearing skinny jeans, work-out jacket, and tennis shoes. I even saw two women in pajama bottoms! I don't know if these women stay that way all day, or if they just don't care what they look like when doing errands early in the morning. Maybe they go home and spend the afternoon getting all dolled up before their husbands come back from work. Remember that awful old sexist song, "Wives and Lovers?" 

It is very rare that I ever answer the doorbell. Of course, not that many years ago, I used to actually run and hide in the bathroom whenever I heard someone at the door, fearing they may see me "dressed up" if they should go around and peep through a window. And I would be all dressed up in those days, too! There was nothing ever comfortable about cross dressing - not in the choice of clothing, and not in the prospect of a confrontation. No makeup, sweat pants and a comfy sweater may be bland, but that look is more apt to blend than is looking like you're ready to go to a cocktail party in the middle of the day. :-)"

I get dressed to "blend" more than "bland" when I go to the store, but not (as you call) "cocktail party" ready. 

Someday I will have to write a post about when a fire truck was setting outside our house when my deceased wife got home. I was in the shower trying to erase all vestiges of cross dressing when she arrived panicked. I could only guess what I would have done if I had actually saw the fire truck and tried to "undress." 

As it was, I didn't fool my wife and caught hell anyway.

She always said I would lead her to an early grave. She passed away at fifty.

Transgender Blending In???

Yesterday, we had a very rare occurrence, someone knocked on our front door. Since I am retired and was the only one home, quickly I paused, because I was just wearing sweatpants and a long sweater top  Plus, I wasn't even wearing any makeup at all. Throwing caution to the wind, curiosity got the best of me and the decision was made to go ahead and answer the door.

I still have issues with thinking there are two of me and what if someone recognizes my old male self. Which is improbable since my appearance has changed so much and I live in a totally different town.

It turns out the woman at the door was some sort of sales person, because she said "Are you the lovely lady of the house?" I'm thinking no, not so much but stood in and listened to the rest of her pitch before telling her the house belonged to Liz.

The only thing I took from the adventure was, at least she didn't mis-pronoun me immediately, so the HRT hormones must be working. Maybe next time, I will at least be wearing a little bit of makeup.

Then I thought, the woman must be used to seeing other women dressed just like me when she knocks on their doors. I was just blending in. :)

Another Halloween

Well, another Halloween has come and gone, and I hope yours was enjoyable.

Maybe this was the year you decided to throw caution to the wind and wear that "Wonder Woman" costume you have been fantasizing about, or just dressed feminine business casual for work. If it was the first time, maybe you discovered more about your femininity than you ever thought possible, or you found out how bad heels can feel if you wear them for extended periods of time.

If you were like me during my early cross dressing days, Halloween left me thirsting for more time dressed in public. Even to the point of considering coming up with some sort of Christmas Elf costume and looking for Santa's lap during the holidays.

Whatever the case, I ended up passing out candy during our local "Trick or Treat" time by myself until Liz got home from work. Even though we did fairly well with the number of kids who came by, I was not able to discern any cross dressing kids.

Now it's off to the barrage of Christmas movies and ad's on television and elsewhere.

Dana Beyer

In other transgender related news, we now have at least two trans women running for political office! Dana Beyer is running in Maryland for Senate, joining Danica Roem in Virginia. (House of Delegates.)

So, if you are fortunate enough to be able to lend your support this election day, don't forget our candidates!

Plus, sooner more than later one of the transgender candidates is going to break through for a victory.

Also, as you may already read, a federal court judge has temporarily blocked the Cheeto's transgender troop ban.  I am sure he is so busy circling the wagons lately,with his other huge problems,  he has barely noticed.

A Dog's Life

Yesterday, I mentioned the sad quandary I have found myself in with my companion of nearly eighteen years, my dog. She has reached the point where the only humane thing to do is to put her down. (Euthanize her.) I have always been a dog person and out of all the dogs I have had, she was most receptive to my feelings. Even to the point of coming over and laying with me during my lowest points. I am sure most of you have a dog story too, and here is Connie's:

"I'm sorry about your dog. That's a difficult decision to make on your part, but I imagine that it is also painful to see a friend in such distress.

The only dog I ever had was during my childhood. We got her just a couple of months before my father died of cancer when I was eight-years-old. I'm pretty sure the puppy was brought in to be a comfort for my little brother and me after the terminal illness took our father's life. For a few years, the dog was the only one who ever saw me cross dressed, and I took further comfort knowing that she didn't judge me at all. 

I was seventeen when my mother remarried a jerk who found the dog, not to mention my brother and me, a nuisance. I was so glad when I could get out of that house when I went away to college, and I'll admit that I was more concerned at the time about leaving my dog behind than I was my brother. When I returned home for the summer, my brother was there, but my dog was gone; "given away to a man with a farm." I never learned the whole truth, but that SOB was a sociopath who manipulated everyone with lies. My dog had more worth than did he.

I have a lucky buckeye! It was my grandmother's, and I found it among her jewelry in the safe deposit box after she died. I don't know how lucky it is for me, though, because my wife now wears the $40,000.00 diamond, while I'm just left with a nut. (lots of jokes and puns to be made from that!)

I'm curious to know your "100 yard dash" time. Would that be in heels, or not? :-)"

Sorry about your dog too and you are right about dogs not making a value judgement about how you are dressed.  They (dogs) definitely have move important things to worry about other than their owner being LGBT, transgender or a cross dresser! They need attention :).

As far as the "nut" joke goes, we hear the "worthless nut" slang around here. Usually after a loss and no, I don't have a 100 yard dash time! Plus I always walk it in my tennis shoes. Boring, I know! 

Brrrr!!!!

Today I wish I could write a post full of transgender excitement and sweetness and light, but it is a cold drab day here in Southwestern Ohio. First of all I am feeling the effects of being chilled all the time. I started to feel that way as soon as I got into seriously taking HRT (hormonal replacement therapy). I found out the hard way why cis women always complained about being cold. I have been walking approximately a football field a day lately, so today I plan on doing it at a brisk pace.

Also, I need to call my dog's veterinarian's office and find out how much it will cost to out her down. (euthanize her.) The poor dog is nearing 18, blind and can barely get around anymore. As sad it is becomes, I would wish someone could do it for me, if I ever reach a certain point in my life. Still, it is going to be so hard to bid farewell to one of my best friends.

On a brighter note,

This is my "Lucky Buckeye" my daughter gave me for my birthday. to put it in reference, Buckeye trees grow wild here in Ohio and their nuts are what you see in the box which is approximately 1 1/2 inch square.

The Buckeye came from a tree I found as a sapling after my wife died. (She was as big if not bigger fan of The Ohio State University as I am.) During the huge game against Penn State Saturday, we were behind almost the entire game and I was about to give up...until we won! She (wife) made a huge deal of never giving up and she was channeling me not to do it either.

I call the Buckeye my "Lucky" one because my daughter planted the weak sampling and over the years has nursed it into the tree it is today.

Now that it is bearing fruit, she plans on "hatching more."

So I know this post didn't contain much exciting content about transgender issues or the LGBT world, but I wanted you all to know a little more about what really can go on behind the scenes.

In The Bright Hot Spotlight

Saturday, I went with Liz and her son to her karate tournament. If I knew what I was going to get into, I would have tried to dress up a bit.

Halfway through, I left to take the son back home and went back. By the time I got back, the middle school gymnasium was nearly full. I needed to walk past a couple full sections of seats (probably 25 rows) to get to where I was setting before.

I felt as if every set of eyes were on me and I had to walk at least two miles to get to my seat, which of course was occupied by the time I got back. More than likely most eyes were not on me and worrying wouldn't have done much about it anyway. So, I hitched up my big girl panties and went for it.

I ended up wedging myself into a row of people that wasn't quite full and tried to make myself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

Looking back on the day, leggings and boots though, probably would have been a better choice than the old baggy jeans I was wearing.

Live and learn the hard LGBT transgender way...as always.

I am sure also, there were several Northern Kentucky folks who got their first glimpse of a real live trans woman and knew it!

Friday Night Lights

Coming up tonight Liz and I are going to a high school football game. The game will include two of my grand-kids playing in the marching band. The game just happens to feature the town's school I grew up in versus the grand-kids school.

Typically for Ohio, the weather is changing daily, going from a beautiful sunny day to a chilly, breezy and raining evening. Then the weather will flip flop back tomorrow in Columbus for the huge afternoon game between The Ohio State Buckeyes and Penn State.

As I was agonizing over what to wear tonight, I got to thinking about the chance to go at all. Sure, I have to plan an outfit around the cold and rain, but this in essence is what I signed up for when I started this transgender LGBT journey.

The whole day will be such a departure from my old "heels and hose" cross dressing days, I can't believe it sometimes. I also urge all of you thinking about going 24/7 to think about it too. Consider your most challenging trans feminine experience and go from there. Mine was going to a junk yard one day to pick up a part. I figured if I could make it there, I could make it anywhere.

Of course, key to me was having a support system to back me up. An example is tonight (as I wrote) Liz is going to tonight and we will be joining my ultra supportive daughter and son in law. Even my first wife will be there and she supports me too.

Then, there is always more to the trip than just the game, because we will probably stop for a bite to eat...the more interaction the better.

And by the way, I will be rooting for my hometown team, Springfield. :)

Pass the LGBT Tissues?

This will be a two part post. The first part comes from Connie's comment about my "hormonal" weepy post yesterday. The second comes from a post I read from Stana on Femulate.

Connie wrote:


"Excuse me, but would that not be "the The Ohio State University Band?" I hope I didn't make you cry with that. ;-)

I'm not sure if my weepiness is due to the fact that I was always prone to be, but no longer feel the need to hold it back, or because I'm at an age where I find nostalgia in so many things. Probably both.

A lady should always carry tissues - for weeping and many other things. I remember once when my grandson had chocolate stuck on his face. I had to resist the temptation to lick my thumb in order to clean it off, opting for the tissue instead. And now, with that memory, I can feel my eyes starting to well up. Yes, such is life!"

Yes, the Ohio State Band makes me weepy because of all the great memories it brings back from my life. Although I can see how I left myself open for your comment :). Actually, around here it's known as "The Best Damn Band in the Land" and it's harder to make it into the band than onto the football team.

Finally, it's interesting I don't carry a tampon in my purse anymore (in lieu of tissues), for those emergency friend requests in Women's rooms. They all think I am too old I guess. :)

Stana's post had to do with we transgender women and/or crossdressers getting started on our feminine paths because we formed the desire to create our own girlfriend. Although I have spent a considerable time wondering about the exact same thing and I was intensely shy around girls, I think, for whatever reason, I was predestined to gender transition into the trans woman I am now from puberty on. 

Plus, even though I went on to date quite a few girls/women, I couldn't shake the feeling I wanted to be them more than with them, and like so many of you , I followed the same path of stair-steps to get to where I am now.

At any rate, Stana writes an interesting post which you can read by following the link above.  

Damn Hormones

Must be my estrogen has been out of whack for the last month or so. Even with the excitement of a LGBT transgender Halloween, I have been uncontrollably weepy on occasion.

Most of the time, I find myself in the uniquely feminine position of crying out of happiness or because of becoming overly sympathetic. Examples are I cried during the fireworks last week when Liz and I went to a Cancer (Leukemia) Society Walk and when and if I get to see the Ohio State Band enter the field, I cry too.

Maybe I am just becoming over sentimental in my old age, because I have not experienced the overall melancholy I experienced when I first started HRT (hormone replacement therapy.)

Whatever the case, I have accepted being "weepy" has being just another part of my journey and always make sure I have an extra tissue or two in my purse!

Such is life.