Transgender Infantry

 Regardless of what the former administration did to discourage transgender service in the military, several trans troops managed to survive the purge. 

An example is Staff Sgt. Patricia King:

Staff Sgt. Patricia King did as many have done by trying to lose themselves in the masculinity of  the infantry. The difference, in this case, is 16-year veteran SSG King is still on active duty making her the very first out transgender infantry sergeant. SSgt King recently said to "Planet Transgender"

"Everyone else I know who was on active duty like myself felt strongly compelled to wait until after we got out to come out. It wasn’t a choice. Even back in the 80’s it was ok to be perceived as gay, especially in a shortage MOS (job classification)  like mine, no one would say anything unless you stood on the commanders desk and shouted it out."

King went on to say: " "I'm the first openly transgender infantryman in the Army," King said.The Army has accepted lesbians and gays into the ranks since 2011, but transgender life is a violation of regulations - a fireable offense. "These conditions render an individual administratively unfit rather than unfit because of physical illness or medical disability," Army regulations say."

Of course now as I write this, President Biden  lifted  the ban on service by transgender troops. Making Patricia Kings' service so much more remarkable. 

De-Transition?

Every once in a while, I see a post concerning someone deciding to stop their gender transition and reverse it.  

While I would never consider it, I see the entire topic as an issue which can be seized upon by transphobes everywhere. After all the, the transphobes now have the chance to say they were right about suggesting attempting the daunting task of a human gender change was wrong to start with. 

Even though I would never consider going back on the life path I have chosen, I can definitely understand why someone else would. As I was learning how to negotiate the feminine world, I found I had no real idea of how complex the process would be. I found out the hard way I would have to learn so much more. I thought once I achieved a certain level of feminine appearance, I had completed my Mtf Gender Transition. Little did I know I was just beginning. 

Heading down my new feminized path showed me how communication provided me the beginnings of a new relationship I would have to learn in the world. As I have written about many times, the first couple of times I was reduced to a second class citizen by men was very enlightening in a negative way. Had I not been so certain of where I wanted my path to take me, losing my male privileges would have been a great place to return to being a part time cross dresser. 

I was fortunate too in that I didn't have to deal with very many friends or family during a time when being transgender was very mis-understood. I was even able to retire so I didn't have to face a hostile work environment. My point is, I can understand how all that pressure could convince someone to de- transition.

Ironically, as I enter the final years of my life, I now face the possibility of being forced to back track down my gender path in an assisted living facility. That though is a topic for another blog post which includes a topic about life insurance. 

In the meantime, all the transphobes can go to hell.

2016

 By accident I found this picture from 2016. It was taken with a couple of old friends (cis women) who helped me find my way as a novice transgender woman. As a matter of fact, I think I was still wearing a wig when this was taken:

Is Passing Mainly Confidence?

 When I write many posts, I usually come up with ideas I could have added. Normally I didn't add them because the post was already written or would have made the post too long. The same thing happened to me yesterday when I wrote a post concerning passing privilege. 

Then I began to remember a few of my previous posts as well as various comments from Cyrsti's Condo readers such as Connie and Paula. One theme seemed to come through, having confidence in yourself was the main way to "pass" successfully. 

Speaking of "Paula" I enjoyed one of her comments referring to a few of her ill advised fashion choices in her early cross dressing days as being a "howler." I know I was too and no amount of confidence could help me. As a matter of fact, I was doing my best to destroy any confidence I was building by making poor choices. My main example was being way too fond of wigs which were better suited to drag queens. Unfortunately also, the drag queen wigs weren't my only "howler" mistakes. Mentioning them all would make this post way too long! It's easier to write, if there was a bad cross dressing mistake to make...I made it.

The good news is I survived and once I learned to blend in and to dress for other women, I developed confidence and you could say I gained "passing privilege". 

Ironically, nearly all of passing to me became a reality when I arrived at the point when I didn't care what the public thought of me. I just followed my basic rules of blending and confidence and/or passing followed.

I was able to live my life as a transgender woman and put my howler days behind me.

Passing "Privilege"

  I know many of you follow Stana's Femulate Blog as I do. If you do, I am sure you saw the series of responses from readers to Stana's question concerning the time or times they have "passed" as a cis woman even though they were transgender or a cross dresser. I read the experiences with great interest but decided not to add my own oft repeated occasion when I went to a transvestite mixer and was nearly turned away for being a "real" woman. 

Ironically then I read a lengthy and in-depth insight into passing written by Phaylen Fairchild on "Medium". 

"Let’s call “Passing” what it really is: The desire to meet the standard of an external social gaze. The privilege of blending in with the rest of society as a “norm” rather than stand out as an “other.” I am not sure why no one has told these incredible people why standing out is far more powerful than falling into formation to satisfy the often unreasonable definitions of femininity and masculinity as if they have firm definitions… they don’t. I know many women with masculine traits, wide shoulders for example, arms with ample hair, some stand over six feet tall or are mistaken for a man on the telephone because their voice is not received as explicitly female. There are men with small waists, even proud busts that make small-breasted women jealous. Some have soft features or mannerisms that have been classified as traditionally feminine. That fact is, while masculinity and femininity are identifiable characteristics, they are not and never have been exclusive to men or women, transgender or not."

She goes on to say: 

" The demand we place on ourselves to satisfy the external gaze becomes nearly excessive, thus, self destructive. What does the perfect woman look like? How does she sound? The ideal man?"

You can follow this link to read more but in the meantime, I think Phaylen's next post should be based on "passing privileges'" which she seems to have from her picture above. 

I know in the all so brief fleeting moments when I have completely passed, I could only describe the time as wonderfully liberating. To the point in which I immediately wondered if it happened at all. 

Inspiration

 

From Egg to a Beautiful Chick?

 Recently I wrote a post roughly equating our transgender gender struggles with breaking out of an egg. Connie took the post another direction:

" All too often, after breaking out of a misplaced egg, one can see her/him-self as an ugly duckling. It takes more effort to learn how to be different from others, yet still fit in. After all, as difficult as it may be to break out of the egg, leaving the nest can be more daunting - especially when others see you as not conforming. Learning that you are destined to become a beautiful swan among ducks comes with the confidence that you can still swim in the same pond - even if you can't quite quack like a duck. I'm sure there are still those who would define themselves as cross dresser

 Increasingly, though, there are those who are referring to themselves as bi-gender. That is, when they present as female they feel to be female beyond what the clothing may indicate; but they enjoy living as their male-assigned gender the rest of the time. I tried that for many years until I admitted to myself that I did not enjoy living a male existence (despite the privilege that went with it). I realize that this does not make me "transer" than anyone else, and I can only allow each individual to self-identify, just as I expect them to allow me to do so. 

I was once told that I couldn't transition properly because I have to wear a wig to cover my male-pattern bald head, and can't undergo HRT or surgeries due to a medical condition. The exact wording this person used was, "You'll never be any more than a professional cross dresser." Thank goodness I know that only I can crack my own egg, and nobody else will shatter it. To that person, I can only say, "The yolk's on you!" :-)"

Great references! Thanks my swan friend!

Paula also added a comment about the growing pains of coming out of a transgender shell:

"I think we all made some howlers, but then I was making my teenage mistakes in my 50s when they're harder to hide.

If the term "cross dresser" goes the same way as Transvestite, how will I be able to update my joke ~ "What's the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual? ~ About five years"

No Paula, I think your joke can stay the same :)

Saved by the Bell

 It's been announced Transgender actress Bell Agam (above) will be featured on a future calendar page released by the Israeli Foreign Ministry.

Trans Troop Reversal

 President Joe Biden will soon reverse the ban on transgender people serving openly in the military, White House press secretary Jen Psaki said in a statement Wednesday.

While the reversal was not one of the 15 actions the new administration announced it would take Wednesday, Day One of the Biden presidency, Psaki said it would be among the “additional executive actions” that will be taken “in the coming days and weeks.”

I'm sure you all know I am a transgender veteran and how good I feel about this.