Recently, Mmarsha has been writing in with comments to a Cyrsti's Condo post from 2018. The post was called "Sink or Swim" Without going to deep into the post, it revolved around a lonely forlorn transgender woman who was coming to the support group meetings. Then Connie added her comments in also, providing other fascinating looks into life under the "transgender umbrella" which often leaks badly.
Here is one of Mmarsha's comments: "Is it possible that we are all a little different in our sexuality no matter how much we think we are like somebody else or think they are like us. In other words you just have to be you and you probably will change over time some people a little more than others. Lets celebrate our diversity and make that our strength. xoxox Mmarsha"
For sure our sexuality is on a spectrum as broad as human existence itself. As far as my own sexuality is concerned, I experimented briefly with men before I just happened to land firmly into a group of lesbians. One of which I am still with after eight years. Even though my experimentation only went as far as heavy kissing, I often wonder what would have happened if I had ever been more deeply involved with a guy. I'm biased of course but I still feel more men could benefit from the companionship of a transgender woman. For the most part because we have been on their side of the gender fence and can understand their needs more completely. But again, that is just me.
As far as celebrating our diversity, it seems sometimes the Washington administration is trying to make it as difficult as possible to do, although in many local situations trans women and men seemingly are making strides.
Connie's ideas as always reflected a little different look at the situation: "So much has changed in the trans community since the original post. Acceptance of diversity is not just something we are expecting from the general society, it is also expected of trans people toward each other more than it was before. Especially when considering Non-binary gender expression, things have moved far beyond the relatively simple concept of "Transer Than Thou" attitude that many of us fought in the past. Although I consider myself to be, strictly, a Binary Trans Woman, I often have to remind myself that being so is not the ultimate goal of many other trans women. I keep learning that it's not my job to "fix" anyone else, but I'm happy to give advice, when it's asked of me. I think that I still carry a bit of internalized transphobia, and, if anything or anyone needs "fixing," it's me."
Finally, Mmarsha and I discussed the idea of how difficult it is to initially come out at all: "Yes your right just get out and do it. I am just so intimidated by the prospect of coming out. Some days I don't want to some days it seems if the right chain of events took place it would happen."
It's a huge topic and one which begs for it's own blog post.
If you would like to see all the comments, go here. As always, thanks for the comments!
Tuesday, March 3, 2020
Monday, March 2, 2020
Out...to Dinner
Saturday night we met with a few old acquaintances for dinner at the upscale Italian venue we normally go to.
I got dressed up as far as I normally do with my fancy patterned leggings along with a nice sweater and a new knitted neck cowl Liz just made for me. As we entered the crowded restaurant, I received the usual amount of attention my arrival usually attracts. No matter how you cut it, I am not the tallest woman in the room but there is very little I can do about my big boned body. To make matters even more interesting, for dinner I washed and moussed my hair with a different hair product which adds volume as well as curls. Seemingly my hair took on a life of it's own. I had plenty of volume and curl.
Dinner proceeded smoothly until the very end until it was time to pay our bills. We had a new server who was struggling through our maze of orders and demands. Then, to add insult to injury our server had to try to decipher the different discount cards everyone carried. Liz and I had a ten dollar off email coupon she had emailed to her. It took the server two tries to get it right. In the meantime, we all noticed we had the same male name on our checks. It turned out he ran all the checks discounts under the name of the person at the table who very much didn't want to be outed. It was humorous as the other very out transgender woman kept asking who it was.
Needless to say the outed person was very upset but is such a basket case anyhow, so I for one didn't care how successful or who he was in his male life. But Liz couldn't help herself and came home and researched the cross dresser on Google. What Liz found out made sense. The person is from a small Indiana town and is active as an oil company owner and developer. It's no wonder he makes a big deal of knowing the most closeted gay guy in America, Vice President Mike Pence who is also from Indiana.
So, all in all it turned out to be an interesting evening. As I said before though, He doesn't have to worry about me outing him. As you noticed, I didn't even use his name in this post.
To each their own. As long as they don't hurt me.
I got dressed up as far as I normally do with my fancy patterned leggings along with a nice sweater and a new knitted neck cowl Liz just made for me. As we entered the crowded restaurant, I received the usual amount of attention my arrival usually attracts. No matter how you cut it, I am not the tallest woman in the room but there is very little I can do about my big boned body. To make matters even more interesting, for dinner I washed and moussed my hair with a different hair product which adds volume as well as curls. Seemingly my hair took on a life of it's own. I had plenty of volume and curl.
Dinner proceeded smoothly until the very end until it was time to pay our bills. We had a new server who was struggling through our maze of orders and demands. Then, to add insult to injury our server had to try to decipher the different discount cards everyone carried. Liz and I had a ten dollar off email coupon she had emailed to her. It took the server two tries to get it right. In the meantime, we all noticed we had the same male name on our checks. It turned out he ran all the checks discounts under the name of the person at the table who very much didn't want to be outed. It was humorous as the other very out transgender woman kept asking who it was.
Needless to say the outed person was very upset but is such a basket case anyhow, so I for one didn't care how successful or who he was in his male life. But Liz couldn't help herself and came home and researched the cross dresser on Google. What Liz found out made sense. The person is from a small Indiana town and is active as an oil company owner and developer. It's no wonder he makes a big deal of knowing the most closeted gay guy in America, Vice President Mike Pence who is also from Indiana.
So, all in all it turned out to be an interesting evening. As I said before though, He doesn't have to worry about me outing him. As you noticed, I didn't even use his name in this post.
To each their own. As long as they don't hurt me.
Sunday, March 1, 2020
Saturday, February 29, 2020
Gender Euphoria
During the cross dresser - transgender support group meeting this week, we welcomed two new attendees. One was very young and confused. The other was in their 60's dressed in male attire with finger nail polish earrings and light make up. Both were able to contribute nicely in their own way.
Perhaps the most interesting question of the evening came in opening remarks from our new moderator who happens to be a life coach of sorts in her real profession. She helps corporations with dealing through gender issues. So she brings a definite professionalism to the meeting.
This week, her initial question to everyone was instead of gender dysphoria, what was everybody's moment of gender "euphoria."
As my noggin quickly rewound through the decades of my life, one defining moment of gender euphoria became very clear. It happened years ago on one of the nights I cross dressed and went out to one of my favorite venues to ostensibly be by myself. It was a dark period of my life, during which I knew deep down I was sliding down a slippery slope towards changing the way I lived by adopting a feminine lifestyle full time. Overall, my feelings were doing nothing more than causing extreme gender dysphoria.
Finally that evening, I considered the lonely life I was living since my wife of 25 years had passed on along with three of my closest friends. So, I really didn't have many close friends left and very few family members either. Also, it was around that time when the Veterans Administration was publicizing they were beginning to prescribe hormone replacement therapy hormones to veterans. I was already receiving health care from the VA, so it was a no brainer...even for me.
All of a sudden, the whole weight of the world lifted from my shoulders and I realized the impossible dream of living full time as a woman went past being possible all the way to being probable.
Adding to the whole idea was the fact I was nearing retirement age too, so I wouldn't have to worry about transitioning on the job.
So my gender euphoria evening was complete and I could then concentrate on building a new life as my true self.
Perhaps the most interesting question of the evening came in opening remarks from our new moderator who happens to be a life coach of sorts in her real profession. She helps corporations with dealing through gender issues. So she brings a definite professionalism to the meeting.
This week, her initial question to everyone was instead of gender dysphoria, what was everybody's moment of gender "euphoria."
As my noggin quickly rewound through the decades of my life, one defining moment of gender euphoria became very clear. It happened years ago on one of the nights I cross dressed and went out to one of my favorite venues to ostensibly be by myself. It was a dark period of my life, during which I knew deep down I was sliding down a slippery slope towards changing the way I lived by adopting a feminine lifestyle full time. Overall, my feelings were doing nothing more than causing extreme gender dysphoria.
Finally that evening, I considered the lonely life I was living since my wife of 25 years had passed on along with three of my closest friends. So, I really didn't have many close friends left and very few family members either. Also, it was around that time when the Veterans Administration was publicizing they were beginning to prescribe hormone replacement therapy hormones to veterans. I was already receiving health care from the VA, so it was a no brainer...even for me.
All of a sudden, the whole weight of the world lifted from my shoulders and I realized the impossible dream of living full time as a woman went past being possible all the way to being probable.
Adding to the whole idea was the fact I was nearing retirement age too, so I wouldn't have to worry about transitioning on the job.
So my gender euphoria evening was complete and I could then concentrate on building a new life as my true self.
Friday, February 28, 2020
Doctor Who Introduces Transgender Character
 |
| Rebecca Root |
She stars as the character of Tania alongside Paul McGann, who played the eighth Doctor in the made-for-TV movie. It’s a role she’s thrilled and honored to play
For more, go here.
Thursday, February 27, 2020
Relevance versus Transgender Activism
Connie wrote in this comment in regards to the Cyrsti's Condo post on activism within the trans community. Or, at least on how it pertains to me:
"The subject of relevance was discussed a couple of posts ago. This post seems to fit right in with that subject. If the TOS was cancelled, do you think that it was done so because of its becoming less relevant in today's culture? Also, I can certainly understand how trans/cross dresser meetups might be less relevant to you these days.
I live in a state that has legislation protecting trans people's rights, for the most part. Still, there are bills introduced every session that are designed to strip some of those rights. It's more difficult to overturn current legislation, so I would hope that Ohio would also put more protections for trans people into law. Rather than just working to defeat the negative bills, maybe you could get involved in trying to get more protections in place. I think that it would have more direct relevance, anyway. Through your work on trans elder care, the opportunity to do that may well be the most relevant thing you could do.
The fact that I can live a fairly normal life, as a transgender woman, is largely the result of the laws that protect me. Still, it is my own ability to have control over my life that gives me the flexibility to choose, as well as avoid, those situations in which I place myself. Losing that control, and surrendering it to the institution that would be designated for my care, is my worst nightmare. I hear horror stories of how infirm individuals are mistreated, and I can only imagine how much worse they could be for trans people. I can picture myself lying in bed with a two-day beard growth, having my genitals wiped down by a caretaker, and then feeling helpless in my ability to convey my trans-woman status when even mis-gendered. My imagination only shows it getting worse from there.
There are so many more of us trans people who have been able to embark on a transition in gender at an older age now. Many of us have decided that the transition not necessarily include GRS, hair removal, voice therapy or surgery, or even HRT. I know that a successful social transition can be made without any of those things, because I have done it. It has not been without effort, on my part, however. Without the energy or physical ability to put in the effort, though, what success would I really have? We should all have a living will, directing how we would like to be treated, should we be unable to convey our wishes - most typically in the form of a "Do Not Resuscitate" order. Perhaps we should also have a stipulation that "I Am a Woman" be tattooed in a prominent place on the body (OK, that is rather drastic, I admit). Still, though, we would be at the mercy of our caretakers as to how we would be treated, in that regard, unless there is an actual law that could be as enforceable as a "Do Not Resuscitate" order.
I rather prefer the thought of being proactive than being reactive, if one is inclined toward activism, at all."
I don't know if I mentioned it but Ohio's bill regarding transgender rights is being debated currently. Supposedly this time it has a better chance of being passed because of backing from quite a few forward thinking major corporations in the state. Plus all of the major cities in the state have passed protection bills too. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed!
Thanks for the comment.
"The subject of relevance was discussed a couple of posts ago. This post seems to fit right in with that subject. If the TOS was cancelled, do you think that it was done so because of its becoming less relevant in today's culture? Also, I can certainly understand how trans/cross dresser meetups might be less relevant to you these days.
I live in a state that has legislation protecting trans people's rights, for the most part. Still, there are bills introduced every session that are designed to strip some of those rights. It's more difficult to overturn current legislation, so I would hope that Ohio would also put more protections for trans people into law. Rather than just working to defeat the negative bills, maybe you could get involved in trying to get more protections in place. I think that it would have more direct relevance, anyway. Through your work on trans elder care, the opportunity to do that may well be the most relevant thing you could do.
The fact that I can live a fairly normal life, as a transgender woman, is largely the result of the laws that protect me. Still, it is my own ability to have control over my life that gives me the flexibility to choose, as well as avoid, those situations in which I place myself. Losing that control, and surrendering it to the institution that would be designated for my care, is my worst nightmare. I hear horror stories of how infirm individuals are mistreated, and I can only imagine how much worse they could be for trans people. I can picture myself lying in bed with a two-day beard growth, having my genitals wiped down by a caretaker, and then feeling helpless in my ability to convey my trans-woman status when even mis-gendered. My imagination only shows it getting worse from there.
There are so many more of us trans people who have been able to embark on a transition in gender at an older age now. Many of us have decided that the transition not necessarily include GRS, hair removal, voice therapy or surgery, or even HRT. I know that a successful social transition can be made without any of those things, because I have done it. It has not been without effort, on my part, however. Without the energy or physical ability to put in the effort, though, what success would I really have? We should all have a living will, directing how we would like to be treated, should we be unable to convey our wishes - most typically in the form of a "Do Not Resuscitate" order. Perhaps we should also have a stipulation that "I Am a Woman" be tattooed in a prominent place on the body (OK, that is rather drastic, I admit). Still, though, we would be at the mercy of our caretakers as to how we would be treated, in that regard, unless there is an actual law that could be as enforceable as a "Do Not Resuscitate" order.
I rather prefer the thought of being proactive than being reactive, if one is inclined toward activism, at all."
I don't know if I mentioned it but Ohio's bill regarding transgender rights is being debated currently. Supposedly this time it has a better chance of being passed because of backing from quite a few forward thinking major corporations in the state. Plus all of the major cities in the state have passed protection bills too. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed!
Thanks for the comment.
Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Carnival Transgender Taboo Shattered
 |
| Camila Prins Transgender Carnival Dancer |
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Cyrsti's Condo Quote of the Day
This quote describes my life so well! Never give up. The world keeps turning and changing.
Monday, February 24, 2020
"Wass-Up?"
It's been a minute since I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo on what has been going on in my day to day existence.
Currently, Liz and I are on the outs with the paranormal hunt group we used to be a part of. The break up occurred due to several reasons I will not bore you with. None of which had anything to do with me being trans.
In it's place, I am beginning to become more active in an organization called "Equality Ohio" which has organized to fight for the ratification of a key bill to further insure transgender rights and against the recently introduced anti trans youth bill. Coming up this Thursday is a happy hour get together I have been invited to. It is being put together to celebrate a big suburban area of Cincinnati passing it's own pro LGBT protection bill. Ohio as a whole is a very divided state between progressive cities and rural right wing counties. The state is at a tipping point though of finally becoming a fairly progressive state. Maybe I can play a small part in it happening.
I have decided too to attend another cross dresser-transgender support group meeting to see what is going on. In fact I am thinking of going to the competing group too. All in all though, I probably won't go to more than one or two a month.
This week coming up is yet another quiet time for my medical appointments. The first week of March I have a couple therapist appointments coming up plus my annual hearing test.
So, outside of a few routine errands, life has been fairly routine.
Currently, Liz and I are on the outs with the paranormal hunt group we used to be a part of. The break up occurred due to several reasons I will not bore you with. None of which had anything to do with me being trans.
In it's place, I am beginning to become more active in an organization called "Equality Ohio" which has organized to fight for the ratification of a key bill to further insure transgender rights and against the recently introduced anti trans youth bill. Coming up this Thursday is a happy hour get together I have been invited to. It is being put together to celebrate a big suburban area of Cincinnati passing it's own pro LGBT protection bill. Ohio as a whole is a very divided state between progressive cities and rural right wing counties. The state is at a tipping point though of finally becoming a fairly progressive state. Maybe I can play a small part in it happening.
I have decided too to attend another cross dresser-transgender support group meeting to see what is going on. In fact I am thinking of going to the competing group too. All in all though, I probably won't go to more than one or two a month.
This week coming up is yet another quiet time for my medical appointments. The first week of March I have a couple therapist appointments coming up plus my annual hearing test.
So, outside of a few routine errands, life has been fairly routine.
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