Farewell!

All too soon it seems, it is time to say goodbye to the incomparable Aretha Franklin.

In comparison to all her other wonderful hits, her rendition of "A Natural Woman" for many of us, made the top all time lists of transgender hits.


Plus, for those of us who are more mature - :), her earlier hits such as R.E.S.P..E.C.T, set the standard for early woman's rights.  A fight which continues unabated to this day.

Aretha Franklin was also a great gospel artist to go along with her other attributes.

Rest in Power Aretha, you will be missed.

No Fun

After I finished my walk this morning, completed part of my vocal training homework and ate a bowl of some sort of cereal which had a strong resemblance to tree bark, I wondered how much of this I would be doing if I wasn't transgender and wanted to look my best. Of course, I would not be doing my vocal training but the rest, possibly.

Again and again, I am reminded of those novice cross dressers who say they will never pass without considering what steps need to be taken to have the best feminine presentation possible. Our skin comes to mind as another area of upkeep which needs extra attention. I make sure all my makeup is removed at night before applying my moisturizer/ wrinkle cream. As, I need all the help I can get for my nearly 69 year old skin.

I just like to know I am doing my best to look good because again, I need all the help I can get. And yes, that includes looking at some of my most unpleasant parts of my body. For another "tongue in cheek" look, let's check in with Connie and her comment on checking for your skin tone, by looking underneath your wrist:

 FABULOUSCONNIEDEEAugust 16, 2018 at 1:29 PM

"So, you're asking me to look at one of my most unfeminine physical parts to determine which color I should wear, are you? Not only are my wrists large, I have an ugly scar from a botched surgery after a work accident left me with two severed tendons to my thumb. Add the fact that my veins (no matter their color) tend to pop out in a masculine way, either from the heat or from strenuous physical activity, and the underside of my wrists are really dysphoria triggers. Nevertheless, my veins are blue, and I am as cool with my femininity as the colors that look good on me! :-)"

Cool!

Fall Colors

As August begins to fade, September of course ushers in a fresh fashion palette for us all. One of the prime times to have fun being a girl.

To help, I have added a "Trendy colors" chart from Deborah Boland and the "Fabulous After 40" fashion blog.

Some of these colors go better with a warm skin tone...some with a cool skin. If you struggle with which tone you have, here is more help:

Warm undertones range from peach to yellow and golden. Some people with warm undertones also have sallow skin. Cool undertones include pink and bluish hues. If you have a neutral undertone, this means that your undertones are roughly the same color as your actual skin tone.

How do you determine which undertones you have? Look on the inside of your wrists for a vein or two. If they look blue or purple, it means you have cool toned skin. If green you are warm toned. If you have a hard time telling, you are a nuetral skinned person. 

All of which leads us back to the chart above and the colors you will look best in. For example, I am a warm skinned person, so I lean towards the reds, yellows , oranges and olive greens. If you are a cool toned person , you look best in the blues, purples and emerald greens. Finally, neutral toned transgender girls can rock all the colors.

You see, when you break down all the different standards cis women go through to look effortlessly good, it's not that difficult. 

Being transgender though, means we have to do it better. 

Winner!

Perhaps you have read or heard of Christine Hallquist. To refresh your memory, she won the Vermont primary, becoming the first transgender woman to win a major party nomination for a state governor.

Of course any story of how a trans person can accomplish such a feat is amazing, but here is a bit of Christine's:

In the fall of 2015, the thought of running for office was not even in the “realm of possibility” for Christine Hallquist, she said in an interview with The Washington Post.

Hallquist, then CEO of Vermont Electric Cooperative, was in the midst of 

coming out professionally as a woman to her employees and worried they might not accept her. The company’s website still indicated that the firm was led by a man, Vermont alternative weekly Seven Days reported at the time. Her emails were still signed by her former name.

“Here I am, the transgender CEO of one of the most macho businesses,” Hallquist told Seven Days.

Just three years later, Hallquist could become the country’s first transgender governor.

Of course, there is so much more to her story. 

Such as, Hallquist faces a steep path to the governor’s office. Republican Gov. Phil Scott remains popular in the state, even among Democrats. He has signaled a willingness to work with Democrats on issues such as gun control legislation, which he signed in April. He also has history on his side: No incumbent governor has been unseated in Vermont since 1962.

Bag Lady?

All of a sudden, I seem to have an over abundance of purses. I could say I don't know where they came from but that's not true. Liz bought me one and I bought the other two. One has a nice fringe, one has my initials and one is supposedly a "one of a kind" recycled canvas purse I bought at a show. It is my favorite. The fringe bag I should be wearing more mow since it is a summery cream color and I save my initialed bag for special occasions...mostly. Maybe it's because I have never been much of a purse fanatic, so it seems like a lot!

Moving on, yesterday was a travel day with a trip up north to see my therapist and a visit here in town to one of my cross dresser - transgender support group meetings. My therapist and I discussed my voice lesson and the fact she was moving her office. I feel a certain draw to the place because it is where I have been going to see her for years and, so much good has happened there. Mainly where I received all my necessary documentation to begin changing my gender markers.

On a lesser, perhaps not so important level, the building the whole unit is moving to does not have a certain outlet of a well known coffee shop I go to. Sacrifices!

The CD-trans meeting last night was fairly calm. A couple new people showed up, which is always interesting and one was even a transgender veteran. Most everyone else was predictably boring...including me. One of the other attendee's noticed finally I had gotten my hair done. She probably did because she has a great head of hair too. She is so fortunate!

Plus while we are on the subject of hair, if you remember the picture I posted the other day of Janis Joplin, Connie suggested I could rock a hairstyle similar to Janis. At one point of time I could and might in the future if I let it grow out again!

Sunday Recap

Seemingly, last week here in Cyrsti's Condo, we spent quite a bit of time discussing the power of expressing yourself in a feminine manner and the destructive influence of Mtf gender dysphoria.

Not much else to say except recap a feminine voice could be enough to protect you in a potentially negative situation. Some people will attempt to start a conversation just to satisfy their curiosity concerning your gender. Plus, once you have reached a certain level in your feminine presentation, why not take it a step further? Enough said.

Dysphoria speaks for itself (no pun intended). Like it or not, most transgender women or trans men are born with it. Along the way, it tortures us into acceptance...one way or another. The sooner we accept the fact we are dysphoric the better.

The week in review also included a couple blogs I follow and I hope I didn't leave anyone out...thanks to my steel trap mind being a little rusted on occasion.

Now is a great time to thank all of you who stop by the "Condo" on a regular basis! It makes it all worthwhile :)

Special Message...J&J

This is for Michelle Hart (no relation!).

She reached me on Google Plus and said if I called "Jager" Jagermeister, I had to buy the first round.

No problem! And yes, I will have to sacrifice sounding like Janis Joplin! Thanks Connie! :)

Janis

Jager

Euphoria

As we cross the transgender frontier, so often we encounter the "one step forward, two steps back" phenomenon.

Of course, the euphoria comes when we seem to build momentum and keep moving forward. My latest success came today at a coffee shop Liz and I go to occasionally. The young woman at the counter (not the barista) kept complimenting me on how nice my new hair style looked. I was walking on cloud nine for the next hour of so until we got back home.

If you follow any of the same blogs I do (or Connie, here) you will understand the concept of gender freedom, or euphoria. Stana, Mandy Sherman and Paula Goodwin come to mind. All of their blogs can be accessed on my blog list. At one point of time or another, each has written about their successful forays transitioning into their non birth (but desired) gender.

Being selfish, I feel as if any step forward is/was earned the hard way through more error than trial. I remember quite well, the days of being stared at (at the best) or snickered at (at the worst).

I have made myself a solemn promise I will never take any of my steps forward as being "more trans than thou." It's incredibly bad karma. After all, I too (like Connie) have the big wrists, which at one point in time were good for swinging a baseball bat. Plus, I am stuck with a big boned larger body.

So, I will take my positive strides when I can get them and I hope you can too.

Let's Be Careful Out There!

It's relatively difficult to write a post like this just after getting back from such an affirming appointment I just had at the hair dresser. Again, I had an excellent experience talking about her transgender son and gossiping ever so slightly about a couple girls we both know from the cross dresser - transgender support group. Plus, I witnessed one of those ultra female moments when another woman stuck her head in the room and went wild with her family news. My hair dresser was so polite, until she left. Then proceeded to tell me she never manages to make her appointments right and is always begging to be fit in.

I also found out one of the girls in the group had a falling out with my hairdresser when she told her she didn't style synthetic wigs. Group girl is also the one who carried her "holier than trans" attitude into a tire store and got mis gendered.  She was the first to say she had never had any problems. I'm here to say, unless you have transitioned very well, problems can await you.

As Connie points out, one can never be too careful. She references this post:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEAugust 9, 2018 at 3:31 PM

"As I pointed out in my comment (that you so graciously re-posted the other day), it only takes one bad apple to have a potentially dangerous situation occur. Seattle is about as liberal and pro-LGBT as you can find. I've been told that I have "passing" privilege by many, albeit mostly from other trans people. Even my voice "passes" much of the time, but it is not passable enough to overcome some of the other telltale signs of my prior male existence. My thick hands and wrists (Scandinavian fisherman's hands), along with a muscular neck (developed from playing football) that holds up my big head (seemingly getting bigger with every pound I lose), are giveaways enough. My voice isn't so perfectly female, so the cumulative effect can easily lead to scrutiny.

I believe that the man in the story I told about at the bus stop asked me if I were on my way to work in order to just hear my voice, as he, most likely, was questioning my gender/sex by only looking at me. While 99% of the people I come across in my city don't seem to care about my "truth" as it relates to their "scientific analysis," this creep was probably looking for confirmation of his suspicions so that he could take advantage of the situation and give me all sorts of shit. I doubt that he would have tried it had there been other people around. So, no matter how well you've honed your presentation, whether in look or voice, you should always be prudent and vigilant, especially in one-on-one situations.

If a hairdresser ever suggested that I go back to my original look, I'm afraid I'd have to try to channel Sinead O'Connor in her clean-shaven days. Talk about adding scrutiny to my gender presentation! :-)"

Thanks! Just another reason I am working to make my voice a priority!