Age Appropriate?

One of the more frustrating facets of growing "more mature" is trying to fight off the ravages of a lifetime of testosterone poisoning.

No one ever said life ever had to be fair but finally arriving at the point in your life when you can express your true gender comes at a frustrating time when you can't experiment with many of the new fashion trends you see.

Although, if you are at the top of your transgender game, you would know there are still sties to visit where you can  do your best to compete in the world with fashionable cis women. Fabulous After 40 is one of those sites.  "Fabulous After 40" can show you how to walk the fine line between "classy" and "trashy" or at the least being age appropriate.

Speaking of age appropriate (and another reference to Popeye), lets check in with Connie:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMay 6, 2018 at 2:45 PM

"I would guess, from my observation, that many women in their 60's have given up learning or crafting their presentations. For those of us who got a late start, though, it seems appropriate that we try a bit harder. I'm familiar with a number of trans women who, having missed their chance when younger, attempt to model their presentations after much younger women - which is a mistake, trans or not. I often, figuratively, roll my eyes at older cis women who are obviously wearing the same style of clothing and doing their hair and makeup the same way as they did some time back in their youth, when they thought they looked great (and they probably did.....then).

Maybe it's not a checklist that we need, but a reality check!

As Olive Oyl once asked Popeye over the table during a romantic dinner, "Do I have spinach in my teeth?" :-)"

Agreed, reality checks are always good but it's tough sometimes to get a "real" reality check!  I know I don't wear "age appropriate" hair but since it's all mine and I enjoy it so much, I am telling the world to go to hell. Having said that though, it is time to get my hair "shaped" and trimmed. Which I plan on doing before this summer really gets underway!

These days, I also find larger selections of plus size clothing to choose from, which makes staying "clothing current" easier.

Friday Night Karaoke Lights

A picture turned up of Liz and I partying Friday night.

It was a very special night for her as she was celebrating losing one hundred pounds!

The purple burst of light emitting from my noggin, provided a rather unique surreal special effect.

Unless I look that way all the time when I think too hard!

Checklist

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the gender "teeter totter" or the gender fluidity of who we are as human beings.  Along the way, Emma Gray sent in an interesting comment:

Emma GrayMay 5, 2018 at 2:23 AM

" Indeed, I started off wishing that if I did enough, checked enough boxes, that I’d become female for all intents and purposes. It was like trying to hold my finger in the dyke only to always find more leaks. Slowly, incrementally, I started liking myself as I am, a woman whose just trying to be myself. I do continue to learn and craft my presentation, like most women I suppose. Regardless, like Popeye said, “I ams what I ams!”

"Popeye"

I agree Emma and had a similar "checklist" myself. I started out finding "safe spots" I could go all the time, where I would not be challenged at all. Shopping certain stores for clothing and bookstores were great locations for me. From there, I built my confidence and started to stop for lunch and even tried to use certain restrooms. Fast forward and I became the transgender person I am today...gradually.

If you are in a similar beginning situation as a cross dresser or novice transgender woman, I would recommend the same path. Plus, depending upon where you live, civilians are having an easier and easier time accepting our culture. Just be prepared to go back to the drawing board any number of times to help learn the basics of living as your non birth gender. After all, girls have spent their whole lives perfecting (or trying to) being women.  After a time you can reach that magic point (like Emma) when you too can quote "Popeye."

Before you know it, you will find yourself at a point where you have discovered who you were meant to be all along and have a chance to enjoy it!  We only live once.

At the least, it is a daunting task for anyone and I find it humorous when anyone thinks we have a choice being trans. Or, anyone else in the LGBTQ spectrum.  It's a life or death decision for many of us transgender individuals.

Thanks Emma! I have included a shot of "Popeye" himself for those of you who are too young to remember the classic cartoon character. Now, eat your damn spinach...like Popeye.

Weekend Update

Over the past year or so, I have become re-addicted to the political satire of Saturday Night Live. Last night's opening was one of the best I have seen. Including the surprise visit of Stormy Daniels. I have liked the opening credits since I lived right above NYC in the early 1980's. The energy of the "Big Apple" was incredible.

During my two year stay there, I managed to have several fun adventures. One in particular on Long Island during my cross dressing days. I have passed along the story here in Cyrsti's Condo about the night at a "transvestite mixer" where I "passed well enough to at first being denied admittance because no cis-women were allowed...un-escorted.  The CD "ego blast" from the whole episode ended up causing a number of huge fights afterwards with my wife. During that time also, I found I still wasn't cut out to be a stay home girl and doing the cooking and cleaning. I did get caught though sending a perfumed letter and picture of me standing over the stove through the "snail mail" to an admirer. The whole episode didn't set well the day my wife beat me to the mail.

After the two years though, it was time again to try and out run my gender problems by moving my wife and I back to Ohio.

Seemingly, the two year intervals were about all I could take because approximately two years after that, I accepted a job opening fast food restaurants in Southern Ohio along the Ohio River. For those of you who don't know, the State of Ohio is actually a very diverse state. With a mixture of urban, agricultural and rural areas.

I often wonder what could have been during this time of my life, if the gender demons weren't chasing me.

When I think about it more, I was just starting my transgender check list, which thanks to a comment from Emma, we will discuss in our next post.

The Gender "Tipping Point" Part Two

Recently I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning my Gender Tipping Point. Connie wrote in and added:

"In my case, my rising femininity was more a matter of dropping the dead weight of the masculine facade I had been carrying around for so many years. I guess I'm one of those for whom being feminine has always been easier, but I began transitioning because I could no longer compartmentalize my gender expressions (masculine and feminine) in living as two separate personas. 

Interestingly, setting myself free to live authentically has led to my giving less and less thought to my gender at all. We are all really a combination of gender traits, yet the transgender person is so much more aware of her, or his, own gender than is the average cis person. My own dream is to achieve that kind of balance, unconcerned with tipping whatsoever."

Thanks for the comment! I too give less and less thought to gender as I live as me. Plus, the more I hear (primarily from the younger set) about "gender fluidity", the more I like it too. I agree we are all a mix of genders anyway.

Unfortunately, society still dictates a strict gender binary be followed in most all circumstances, as seen by the number of transgender or gender queer kids who end up estranged from their families on the street.

I think too, the amount of time I spent falling off the balance beam (or "she saw" as Connie called it), could have been spent so many other ways. I am saddened on what could have been.

Then again too, crying over "spilled make-up" is a waste of time too.

Another Victory!

This one came in New Hampshire this week. From "Slate.Com":

On Wednesday, the New Hampshire Senate passed a landmark bill outlawing discrimination against transgender people in housing, employment, and public accommodations. The state House of Representatives has already passed the measure, and Gov. Chris Sununu has confirmed his intent to sign it. What’s remarkable about this victory is that Sununu is a Republican, and both houses of the state legislature are controlled by the GOP. Democrats pushed hard for the bill and supported with near-unanimity. But it was Republican legislators who carried it over the finish line.

This bipartisan triumph for transgender equality contrasts sharply with Donald Trump’s unrelenting assault on transgender rights. Indeed, it should be been seen as a rebuke to his persistent attacks on LGBTQ Americans. The Trump administration has revoked federal guidance protecting transgender students, employees, and homeless people. It is poised to attempt to repeal nondiscrimination protections for transgender patients under the Affordable Care Act. And, of course, it is striving to ban open transgender military service by arguing that trans people are mentally unstable deviants. Vice President Mike Pence and Attorney General Jeff Sessions are the driving force behind the onslaught: Pence intervened behind the scenes to overrule Secretary of Defense James Mattis’ support for trans service, while Sessions has issued a stream of directives designed to undermine LGBTQ rights under federal law

The Gender Tipping Point

As we transgender women (and cross dressers too) go through life attempting to cross the gender frontier, there comes a point when you can "tip" the gender balance.

As we move down the path, often we learn the more we know, the more we need to learn.

Examples would be, as novices, we strive to perfect a feminine "illusion" thinking it will be enough to sustain our gender desires. Then we find, no matter how good the illusion looks, nothing is good enough. You have to move around and even create another persona to exist.

The more serious you become about succeeding in a feminine lifestyle, the more you learn about the razor thin "gender tipping point." Studies indicate fellow humans make gender decisions within a matter of seconds.

Getting better and better has to become an obsession to succeed. I always read with some humor a negative person who thinks no cis men can ever do the work to become a convincing woman. Do they not want to do the weight and skin work, not to mention the makeup and fashion expertise which is needed? Any cis woman would tell you the same thing. Being a woman is definitely being the high maintenance gender.

Visualize if you will, a transgender person jumping up and down on a teeter totter. After a while some (quicker than others) will learn moving up the board to the center is a more effective way of  getting where you want to go.

All of a sudden, you feel natural as your chosen gender and you start to reach out for better hair, voice, or whatever you feel makes you feminine.

As the teeter totter begins to flip your way, you begin to feel more and more natural and life can become better than you ever thought.

Sometimes though,we slip and fall off the "trans teeter" and it is extremely painful to try again. As with anything else which is worth it though, the ups and downs of your ride can be worth it as you live your new life.

A New Boob?

We received several comments concerning recent posts I have decided to pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo. One of which center around vocal feminisation for transgender women:

1. Melissa WestApril 30, 2018 at 6:12 PM

   "Hi Crysti
   
   At the moment I’m listening to and doing while driving the Melanie Anne Philipps voice feminisation course as mentioned by Stana. She’s at http://heartcorps.com/page33.htm I feel that I am making a lot a progress. She covers the points covered in your last but one para.
   
   Best wishes
   
   Melissa"

   Yes! I have heard the demo and the difference is startling (as was the person I saw in person)! Thanks for sharing.
3. 
   FABULOUSCONNIEDEEMay 1, 2018 at 4:07 PM

   " The VA in some situations will provide one wig and one set of breast forms a year." This made me chuckle. Do they pass them out the same way you got your government issued uniform and other necessities when you went to basic training? I wonder just what kind of wig and breast forms they'd supply. :-)
   
   Seeing yourself as you practice your voice is important. You need to combine the non-verbal communication with the vocal. I made videos of myself so I could analyze it later, because I learned a long time ago that what I might have thought I was seeing in the mirror was not necessarily what was really there!"
4. As I understand it, the VA will pass out the breast forms through their "Prosthetic" Department. The VA also has a very active "Women's Health" department, so I'm sure the program originated there. More than likely, the same thing happens with wigs. I will ask "my people!" 
5. And thanks for sharing the video/mirror idea!

 

Arrival

First of all, I am pretty much a technologically challenged old geek. Thus, one of the weekend challenges was learning how to navigate around Columbus, Ohio using the Uber car service. After I learned how easy and relatively inexpensive it was, I found I could relax much more seeing as I didn't have to worry about drinking and driving.

Club Diversity, Columbus, Ohio

Every year, Liz and I make it a point to going to a venue called Club Diversity. It's in a old Victorian style house just south of Downtown Columbus. "Diversity" is unique in that it is owned by a transgender woman and has a truly unique clientele.

Saturday night featured a packed house, made up by gay men, lesbian women, straight couples mixed in with the occasional transgender woman or even a cross dresser or two.

As Liz partook of several of their fabulous martini's, I was able to sip my beer and Jagermeister and survey the room to see who may have been surveying me.

It was fun! I had my usual visual contact with a butch lesbian, all the way to a gay guy who was doing his best not to be too noticeable looking at me. I didn't try to hide any of my narcissistic entertainment from Liz, who finally said "You have arrived." I said yes, Compliments of Uber and a lot of HRT :).

 Finally, I wore my fuzzy green sweater and leggings for the evening, which turned out to be unseasonably cool. Jagermeister though, is custom made to warm you up as it originated as a German hunting drink. I first made it a friend when I was in the Army in Germany.

I am riposting a selfie picture I took in the hotel after the trip back. A good time was had by all!

Also, I would be remiss in not writing about our stop for a famous "Thurman's" Hamburger before we went to Diversity. What is amazing to me, is they remember us year after year and we normally end up with the same server. We did well this year, the wait time was only about 45 minutes.

It's time to wrap this post up before I become accused of working for the Columbus Chamber of Commerce!