Another Take on Me

Connie wrote into Cyrsti's Condo with a slightly different take on our "Me" post:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEApril 3, 2018 at 2:30 PM

"Always Something There to Remind Me"

I walk along the city streets you used to walk along with me
And every step I take reminds me of just how we used to be
Well, how can I forget you, girl?
When there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me.

As I've followed the path of my own transition, I have found myself, at times, at a place where I've felt totally myself. This is the place that has no label, other than ME; without the separation that the "T" causes. As in the lyrics of the song, I used to be so aware of my transgender status that I did feel as though I was walking next to myself. Over time, as my confidence and self-acceptance has increased, I have been able to meld who I was with what I was. In doing so, the "what" has almost disappeared from my mind, and the "who" has become much more clear to me.

How I'm perceived by others seems to require that they use a label for me, even if I've given up the label myself. Whether it's a face-to-face encounter, media report, or just a puzzled look from a passerby that I catch from the corner of my eye, there is always something there to remind me that the transgender label is still applied to me. The label serves to separate me, at best, into "used to be a man/now a woman." I imagine that there are many people who would refer to me, when talking to someone else, as "the transgender woman in the purple sweater" or, much worse, as "that t****y over there." A result of my increased self confidence, however, is that I now realize that what anyone else is thinking about me is really none of my business.

I see myself as an ambassador, rather than an advocate or activist, for the transgender community. With the awareness that I am being labelled "transgender" by others, it's my job (although it no longer feels like work to me) to just be the best ME I can be when interacting with the masses. My hope is that others will come to see me as the woman I am, and not how I came to be. As such, they may be more inclined to drop the label for others like me. Maybe I can change the lyrics to just "sometimes something there to remind me" one day, then."

Thanks!

Drafted?

I often wonder about what would have happened if I showed up for my military draft physical dressed as I deeply wanted to be. Probably, I would have still be taken and forced into the Marines, not the Army.

Ironically, Thailand, one of the places I was sent still has an universal draft for it's military. In Thailand though, transgender women can present paperwork and still physically show up as their authentic selves, to not get drafted into the male military.

Here is a picture of three:

Can you imagine the experience?

I'm Just Me?

Ironically, sometimes ideas just seem to come together about the transgender life path I have chosen. On the way to Transgender Day of Visibility, my partner Liz took a moment to remind me how far I have come in the past several years in the quest to be my true self. She pointed out how much more confident and secure I am today.

Then, Shelle (long time friend) wrote into to Cyrsti's Condo and said she didn't even think of herself as a transgender woman at all, anymore...just a woman.

As I thought it out, I just think of myself as me and let the world sort out the rest. To be sure, male was always a struggle for me to do. Woman has/is been so much easier, after I climbed certain walls and made quite a few falls along the way.

Now, me is woman and always has been, so I guess I could lose the transgender part too but I don't. For one big reason:

Years ago, I watched as so many transsexuals climbed their ivory towers and proclaimed to the world they were women and then just disappeared. Fading into societies woodwork. In many senses that was all well and good. At the same time though, there were no "gate keepers" to show younger people who did consider transitioning the way. What exactly were the differences between cross dressers, transgender or transsexual women?

It turns out now, the younger generation is solving the issues for us anyhow. One of the main sub topics of the TDoV last weekend had to do with gender fluidity and why we all have to be judged from a strict gender binary basis anyhow. Somehow, someway, my generation missed the point totally.

What we didn't miss was, the chance to start breaking down gender discrimination barriers to begin with and to start the movement to truly bring the "T" into and under the LGBT umbrella as an equal partner for once.

So, there is pride for me. Pride in being a survivor. After all, I made it through all those nasty years in a closet without actually managing to kill myself. A part of me wanted to show that to the world and as a matter of fact, is one of the reasons I write this blog.

At the end of the day, I am just me, and I am proud to say I am transgender because I did cross the gender divide. However, if the truth be known, I was always just a woman anyhow. Just a another label.

Trans Day of Visibility Picture

Well, with a gentle nudge, I coerced Liz into posting a picture or two from the Transgender Day of Visibility venue.

Here I am at our table!

Giving Transgender a Voice

Well, another Transgender Day of Visibility as come and gone. As I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, my partner Liz and I helped "person" a table at our local event.

The whole day went well (except for an exceedingly long walk to get to the venue) and one person who commandeered the stage to tell us all, the transgender movement was a four letter word which rhymes with "duck".

Other than the sour bitch, the rest of the speakers were basically centered around the younger transgender and/or questioning  crowd. Of which, there were plenty, which numbered around two hundred and of course was very enthusiastic.

There were also eight to ten other tables (besides ours) who were giving out information. Almost immediately, one in particular caught my attention. It was a table full of information concerning voice therapy from the University of Cincinnati Health Center. I stopped and asked tentatively for some of the information. The person at the table asked what I was interested in and I said, anything I could find on voice therapy through the Veterans Administration.

I was fully expecting a blank look, instead she lit up like a light bulb and asked which VA I went to. Even more important, when I said Dayton, Ohio (not Cincinnati), she said they were starting a pilot program very soon in Dayton. Plus, they were very interested in working with transgender patients. I couldn't believe my good fortune as I have all the contact information.

Very quickly I knew the day couldn't get much better! As soon as I can press Liz into posting it, there may be a picture for the blog.

It's Easter!

Admittedly, I am more of a spiritual person, than a religious one. I remember vividly as a youth the pain of wearing a restrictive tie with boring jacket and being made to go to church.  I think my Dad felt the same way, as he went to sleep during almost every sermon, but was just giving into Mom's demands.

Looking back though, my fascination with what the girls were wearing was one of the earliest indications of my gender dysphoria. I literally ached inside to be able to be able to have any of the pretty fashion choices the girls had.

As with everything else, time moved on and it was years later I was able to understand what was going on.

For those of you transgender women and or cross dressers who celebrate Easter for the Christian holiday it is, I hope you enjoy your day for what it is.

For those of you who happen to be out and proud, maybe you can enjoy a cute new outfit too1

Another First

From Summit County, Colorado:

"In January, the Summit County Sheriff's Office operations commander and SWAT team coordinator, Lesley Mumford, was called into Sheriff Jaime FitzSimons' office for a sit-down. Undersheriff Joel Cochran was there, too, and it seemed like this was no ordinary meeting.

"I was quickly trying to recall anything that I might have done to get me in trouble," Mumford said. "I was at a loss, but it seemed like a very serious conversation was about to take place."

The pall was quickly lifted when FitzSimons told Mumford she had been accepted into the FBI National Academy, an elite, 10-week training course for law enforcement in Quantico, Virginia.

Mumford is one of roughly 200 law enforcement agents from across the country selected for the academy, a rigorous blend of classroom work and physical training at the storied FBI campus and the bank of the Potomac. Candidates are chosen every year through an extremely selective nomination and invitation process.

Mumford's selection isn't just an honor for her, though. It's also a groundbreaking moment for the FBI and law enforcement generally, as she will be the first transgender woman to ever attend the academy in its 83-year history.

"I think it's a pretty amazing thing, a historical thing," Mumford said. "It makes me feel that society is changing, it makes me feel that as individuals we do have the ability to change and influence the world around us."

For more, go here.

Transgender Day of Visibility

Well it's here, another TDoV, and it's time to ask what does it mean to you?

Obviously, you don't have to color your hair violet and hit the world head on, you can take a quieter route.

I will be interested today to see what the rest of the participants wear to the Cincinnati event which is rumored to be attracting around two hundred. I wonder if some of, or most of the table participants in my group will be rocking their usual 4 or 5" heels. Some with seamed stockings. I will definitely be doing my share with my hair! With the amount of hair I have, even it was the usual red color it's been, it attracts attention anyhow. Most certainly, a woman my age is not supposed to have this much hair. By now, I am sure you have all surmised, I don't care. I can tie it back to blend in too.

You can do whatever you decide  this year and it will be fine! At the least,  if you are firmly in the closet think about voting out the bigots who are trying to take our transgender rights away! Who knows, someday, you may need those rights.

Plus, even if you are "just" meeting a new person or two when you do go out, it's up to you to educate the public many times.

Finally, if you feel the need to rock those heels and seamed stockings...do it with Pride!

Finally!

The American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio, the American Civil Liberties Union, and Lambda Legal filed a lawsuit challenging Ohio’s refusal to correct the gender marker on birth certificates for transgender individuals, for any reason, at any time. Ohio is one of just three states, with Tennessee and Kansas, that has yet to change the extremely regressive and outdated policy.

“This policy is not only archaic and out-of-step with the rest of America but also dangerous. Forcing transgender Ohioans to go through life with inaccurate birth certificates, a basic form of identification, unnecessarily exposes them to discrimination, harassment, and violence. It also denies them their very identity,” Lambda Legal Law Fellow Kara Ingelhart said. “In fact, government officials in Ohio know this, given that they allow transgender people to change the gender on their drivers’ licenses and state identification cards.”

“Ohio’s policy deprives transgender people who were born in Ohio of a birth certificate that accurately reflects their gender identity,” said Susan Becker, General Counsel for the ACLU of Ohio. It’s past time Ohio complies with the Constitution’s promise that all people have a right to live freely and openly in society as who they are, without fear of discrimination.”

Word is, it will take approximately one year for the case to wind it's way through the legal system. Go here for more.