Fear...ala Connie

In response to my "Fear and Loathing" post here in Cyrsti's Condo, Connie wrote:

"At first, I thought you were referring to masculine properties you might still have. But, who would see an attorney for verification of those things? A physician would be a better choice. Anyway, I have some real estate I'd like to have a surgeon unload for me, and it's not really in probate - I have lost the will. :-)

In my experience, anyone I deal with who stands to profit monetarily is not to be feared. If they don't like who I am to the point of also disliking my money, then that's their problem.

I might be able to use an oxygen tank here in Seattle. With temps in the mid-nineties and smoggy air from Canadian wild fires, it's difficult to get a good breath of air. Both the sun and the moon glow orange, and there's so much smoke in the air that the stars are not visible at night. It's like a scene out of a Sci-Fi movie (which makes me fit right in!)."

I like the monetary part of your comment, and people are more apt to see green, or at the least a welcome relief from their day to day work if and when they encounter a transgender person up close and personal. Plus, since the last thing the receptionist mentioned in a so, so pleasant manner was the not so small matter of a consultation fee. Not mentioned on their web site. Keep in mind though I am dealing in a smallish town, so competition among attorney's is likely not that intense.

At any rate, if I can get the two properties probated at a reasonable cost, which increases my chances of unloading them and getting along with my life. Which is huge of course.

As far as an oxygen tank goes, I hope you get some relief soon from the smoke! I am fairly sure though you may be able to find a small one and spray paint it pink? :) Or blue which may match your new friend's hair? She is probably a huge LGBT supporter anyway. 

Fear and Loathing???

A couple days ago, I began a process I have actually been putting off for years...probating a couple properties I have held on to from my past.

I chose an attorney pretty much at random, preferring only one of female persuasion. For some reason I felt I would have a lesser chance of running into transgender bias with another woman.

Before I went into the office, I was scared to death. Not so much because of presenting trans, but of the whole process. The end result ideally could result in selling both properties and totally getting rid of the part of my life I have been dreading.

I was so scared, it brought back memories of my first journey out to a restaurant as a woman I have written about several times. It was so bad, I thought I was going to need an oxygen tank in case I fainted. After I made it though, I never thought my life would ever come to this.

Which leads me to this point. Many people ask me about the highs and lows of a transgender transition. My answer is simple, consider what would be the toughest hill to climb as a trans woman, then try to do it. My personal example was buying a part in an auto parts store.

When I look back at my life though, nothing would have prepared me for what I have been through now. Scared? Yes! Determined? Certainly! I would not trade where I am now for anything.

Not even an oxygen tank!

Freedom

Just when I received all the unwanted attention I could take from LGBT hostile rednecks, I landed back in my decidedly more liberal home ground and I garnered no attention at all, or, too much of a positive nature.

Going back to the drawing board, so to speak, it was hot last weekend and I decided to pull my hair back and go without my glasses. Seemingly all of my adjustments worked to perfection as I encountered no problems. Whether or not the changes had that much effect or not is open to debate as (like I wrote), I was operating in friendly territory.

At any rate, the weekend did wonders for my confidence too and as we all know, presenting successfully takes a lot of confidence. Humans are sharks and if they don't detect blood in the water, many times they won't even notice you.

I did have one grocery bagger kid who wanted to talk and talk, which I did, plus the restaurants we went to (per norm) saw me as being green, for my money.

Whatever the case, even at this point in my transgender woman life, a little confidence goes a long way, especially with the next stages of my life looming quickly.

A Different End...To a Different Story

Connie wrote in: "Just last week, I had a similar experience. 
At the gas station/convenience store I frequent, there was shaved-head, jeans and T-shirt guy staring at me the whole time I was at the pump. It was 5:00 AM, so still a bit dark. I have learned to be careful of my surroundings - actually vigilant. I left the pump to go inside where I could feel safer, and bought something I didn't need just to "justify" my actions. While I was in the store, though, the man came in to pay for his gas just before I was going to make my purchase. As I stood behind him, I felt like he must have had eyes in the back of his head, as though I was still being stared at. I felt relieved that he would be leaving the store before me, and that I could safely go back to my car....But he stopped at the door and just stood there, staring. I decided to just make a quick exit, so, with one key projecting from my closed fist I headed for the door. To my surprise and relief, however, the man opened the door for me with a big smile, saying "have a wonderful day." 

I know that my prudence was not wrong, but I had pre-judged him when he was obviously not thinking negatively about me at all. It turned out to be a reminder that I should not be as judgmental as I often condemn others for being toward me. Had I simply given this guy quick and friendly smile in the first place, I probably would have gotten one in return, and I wouldn't have found it necessary to buy that calorie-laden donut that I definitely did not need. 

I do agree, though, that staring is bad manners - but good manners are, sadly, so very rare these days. At least he opened the door for a lady!"

Thanks!

Also to Mandy :)

As it turned out my whole weekend was ready to turn around. More in a later post from this topsy turvy transgender LGBT world!

I Will NEVER Understand

Last night we went to a movie. No big deal, right?

I guess it was to a bald redneck who was rapidly glaring at me and elbowing his wife to look and stare. Really??? Weren't they taught any matters before they quit school in the 8th grade?

It's ridiculous I know to even rant about it, but I do. It will always bug me.

What business is it of anyone to invade my life and the way this guy was glaring, he could have done more than just glare if he was closer to me. As it was, he was standing clear across the lobby. I should have asked the jerk if he had bought an extra ticket to gawk at me, but as always, it was definitely not the time to draw an imaginary line in the sand.

The best I can hope for at my age I guess is that the younger LGBT transgender community has it easier.  Because I'm not changing.

We Got Mail!

The post on Trump banning transgender troops from the U.S. military garnered many comments, and rightfully so. I am going to try my best to get to all of them soon in no particular order.

From Jeni:" You have it wrong. 
Your Congress and Senate BACKED Trump's ban. 
Recall their behavior towards EVERYTHING positive that President Obama proposed or tried to get done. Now look at their either active support, or silence on blocking, for what Trump is doing. 
So who is making this ban happen?"

Granted Jeni. we have a Republican dominated congress, but if you recall, even they voted down the strongly anti transgender  "Hartzler Amendment" recently. Remember also, Trump's ban was a tweet , not even an executive order, so as of yet (as with much of of Trump's activity) no one yet has stepped up to activate it because it could change next week.

From Michelle: " I saw her interview last night as well as several other women who served and did local news interviews. I doubt that Frump will backtrack on his ban and I'm just waiting to to who else he will go after. I wonder which other government agencies he will include in his ban."

There were so many interviews Michelle, I am not sure which one you are writing about, but I agree with your point.

From Pat: "I was sorry that Kristin Beck failed in her race for Congress against Stenny Hoyer. Beck would have been a much more honorable member of Congress than Hoyer.

I thought that Caitlyn Jenner had reasonable comments about Trump's tweets. Remember tweets are not rules or regulations. They are not even executive orders. They have no force of law. I suggest that the most reasoned explanation of the current situation of Transgenders in the military would be the comments of Senator McCain. I think that we need to wait for Secretary Mattis to complete his study."

Jeni, this may help to clear up some of the confusion on what Tramp actually did.

Michelle went on to write: " Unfortunately I think that he starts a controversial item to draw the public's attention away from other matters that effect millions. The ploy is one that he's used in the past when someone is looking into his past life dealings."

So true!!!!

And, from Connie: "Whether a ban on trans troops comes to fruition or not is not so important now as the states of mind of the troops who have learned their Commander-in-Chief has deemed them undesirable. Imagine being embedded, voluntarily, in a war zone, knowing that your highest ranking official has given you a vote of no confidence. At the very least, it would have a negative effect on your morale. I just can't understand how this dufus can be so uncaring, yet I'm still more confused by the number of Americans who voted him into office. Maybe this will be the stupid move that finally changes their minds. I can only hope."

Thank you all for your insight! It means a lot.

Aim High and Work Back

I went to my transgender veteran support group yesterday and did get a chance to hear from the person who said she completed GRS on Medicare.

Questions here in Cyrsti's Condo ranged from how to total disbelief.

She said she found a doctor in Indianapolis, Indiana who would do the surgery and accepted Medicare and proceeded to jump through the hoops from there.

So, if you believe it or not, there was your answer!

Trump Frumps Again

In a not so surprising move, Trump banned all transgender troops from the military, leaving an estimated 15,000 troops or more in limbo. Frump of course never served his country prompting 20 year veteran and former Navy Seal Krisin Beck to call him out to a face to face meeting. Which we all know will never happen. What a shame. So close yet so far, and the U.S. takes another step backwards.

Kristin Beck

Ghost Shows

Liz and I are big fans of the paranormal, even to the point of being members of a now defunct group. Which disappointed me, but I got over it and should have I guess after my "connection" with the spirit world the last time we went anywhere. I think being dual spirited or gendered myself helped. Maybe someday we will get back involved again.

At any rate, there is a show on the "Travel Channel" called Ghost Adventures who had a show on featuring the Viper Room on the Sunset Strip. I wasn't really paying much attention until the host interviewed the Viper Room manager about the reports of paranormal activity in her club.

It didn't take long for my "trans-dar" to go crazy and I was sure the manager was a transgender woman. Liz is always harder to convince but even she said I was right, for a change.

The nice part was, the show never mentioned she was trans! This was the only image I could find.