Today is my transgender support group meeting at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Hospital and a chance to wear my latest fave top. Nothing real exciting to write about, unless something happens at the meeting.
The top is a black tank with sort of a sparkly decoration and most importantly fits just well enough, I can wear it bra less and garner a little more attention without being totally trashy. Plus today, thank goodness, is supposed to be cooler (80 ish) and less humid, so the outfit should be totally comfortable for the drive up and meeting.
Also, I wore it last week around Liz and it didn't get rejected, so I guess it's OK.
Other than that, we continue to struggle with all the negatives associated with a parent (Liz's Dad) in hospice at the age of 91. Nothing ever good or rarely pleasant comes from any of that.
At the least, the situation makes life seem to be more cherished when you have your health.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Dad's Day
Every year here in Cyrsti's Condo, I try to remember my Dad on Father's Day. If you recall, he was a solid member of the "greatest generation" having lived through the Great Depression and World War II.
He never was one for emotion that my brother and I could see and rarely was too vocal in his feelings, but at the same time left no doubt how he felt.
As with my Mom, my feelings for him have mellowed over the years, as he was a great provider and dealt the best he could with the generational cards dealt to him. As it stood, his Dad passed away at a relatively old age in 1949 before I was born. So you can understand a little more where he was coming from.
He built his own house and pretty much was the stereotypical "self made man" which I guess is a fitting reference to me being a "self made woman."
Dad never had an inkling I think that I was transgender and many times I do wonder how he would have adjusted to it. Because, many times under a rough exterior. he was a complex man, simply a product of his times.
He was a weather man in the Army/Air force in WWII, but pursued a living as a banker after he was discharged.
Surprisingly enough, "Mr. Conservative" bought one of the first stereo's we could hear a train running from one speaker to another, and made sure we had a color television for the early broadcasts of Bonanza.
On the other hand, we went fishing in Canada the same place every year for more than a decade...for his vacation.
So Dad, more than you will ever know, I inherited your complexities coupled with Mom's spirit.
Thank you! Your daughter Jessie.
He never was one for emotion that my brother and I could see and rarely was too vocal in his feelings, but at the same time left no doubt how he felt.
As with my Mom, my feelings for him have mellowed over the years, as he was a great provider and dealt the best he could with the generational cards dealt to him. As it stood, his Dad passed away at a relatively old age in 1949 before I was born. So you can understand a little more where he was coming from.
He built his own house and pretty much was the stereotypical "self made man" which I guess is a fitting reference to me being a "self made woman."
Dad never had an inkling I think that I was transgender and many times I do wonder how he would have adjusted to it. Because, many times under a rough exterior. he was a complex man, simply a product of his times.
He was a weather man in the Army/Air force in WWII, but pursued a living as a banker after he was discharged.
Surprisingly enough, "Mr. Conservative" bought one of the first stereo's we could hear a train running from one speaker to another, and made sure we had a color television for the early broadcasts of Bonanza.
On the other hand, we went fishing in Canada the same place every year for more than a decade...for his vacation.
So Dad, more than you will ever know, I inherited your complexities coupled with Mom's spirit.
Thank you! Your daughter Jessie.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Trans Pride!!!!
Danica Roem to Battle LGBT bigot in Virginia for Congressional Seat!
Way to go Virginia and Danica!
Thursday, June 15, 2017
Some Like it Hot!
Then again some don't like it this hot. Our first heavy duty week of summer 90 degree plus temperatures and high humidity is upon us here in Southwestern Ohio. Which means of course everyone's most important beauty asset is skin.
I do the best I can with tank tops and a few lightweight t shirts I own, but I will need to get to the store soon to replenish my wardrobe. Here is a picture from last summer below. On the bright side, I don't think there is anything more feminine than feeling your hair brush the back of your neck.
I thank the Goddess I don't have to wear hot wigs anymore, but on occasion grumble because of all the hot hair I carry around now.
And, then, there is the infamous "under boob" sweat cis- women complain about. It's very real.
Finally, as I am done whining, about things I have brought on myself as a transgender woman, one of the trans women brought up a good point at the meeting the other night.
She said (a 30 something person) the big point of demarcation for her spouse and cross dressing was when she was able to grow her hair out far enough to quit wearing wigs. Somehow, someway, the wife felt the wigs gave her a "costume" look or feel. And her own hair made the whole process so much more serious.
I never thought of it quite that way, but when I was able to wear my own hair was the period of time I was able to really improve my transgender presentation. Of course I know I am one of the fortunate trans women to have very little male pattern baldness.
I don't think summer will ever be my most favorite season of the year, but I guess I will live with it...
right? :)
I do the best I can with tank tops and a few lightweight t shirts I own, but I will need to get to the store soon to replenish my wardrobe. Here is a picture from last summer below. On the bright side, I don't think there is anything more feminine than feeling your hair brush the back of your neck.
I thank the Goddess I don't have to wear hot wigs anymore, but on occasion grumble because of all the hot hair I carry around now.And, then, there is the infamous "under boob" sweat cis- women complain about. It's very real.
Finally, as I am done whining, about things I have brought on myself as a transgender woman, one of the trans women brought up a good point at the meeting the other night.
She said (a 30 something person) the big point of demarcation for her spouse and cross dressing was when she was able to grow her hair out far enough to quit wearing wigs. Somehow, someway, the wife felt the wigs gave her a "costume" look or feel. And her own hair made the whole process so much more serious.
I never thought of it quite that way, but when I was able to wear my own hair was the period of time I was able to really improve my transgender presentation. Of course I know I am one of the fortunate trans women to have very little male pattern baldness.
I don't think summer will ever be my most favorite season of the year, but I guess I will live with it...
right? :)
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
In the Grasp
Connie wrote in with a well written comment on yesterdays' Cyrsti's Condo blog post about a transgender woman's not so wanted advances by a couple of men:
" What's within my grasp is not for anyone else to grasp, unless I give my permission to do so. Unfortunately, the prospects of finding someone who would want to have that permission are greatly reduced in transition - even less than the chance of being pinched by some creepy misogynist.
" What's within my grasp is not for anyone else to grasp, unless I give my permission to do so. Unfortunately, the prospects of finding someone who would want to have that permission are greatly reduced in transition - even less than the chance of being pinched by some creepy misogynist.
I agree, at the least backing a man down should be a "woman's rite of passage." Plus at some point, every cis woman has to face the barrier of looking attractive and possibly then garnering the wrong sort of attention for her work.
It's a another lesson cis girls learn at a young age plus have the added pressure of their peer groups to deal with.
Then again, we have all known guys that are just creepy. When we were guys, or after we transitioned into transgender women. And what is worse is when we are considered some some of an "easy" mark to hit on for a guy as a trans woman.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
Be Careful What You Wish For?
Yesterday I went to a sparsely attended CrossPort meeting for transgender and cross dressed women. Probably due to to some intense summer heat, attendance was down.
All the attendee's were trans and at least on HRT except for one who was planning on starting soon. Two had already completed SRS.
One of the younger attendee's was commenting on a recent experience she had in which she has some off color comments from men and even butt grabbed. Most of the group viewed the experience as a rite of passage of sort. I think the differences are if the person viewed the experiences as a validation of their femininity or a form of bullying.
The trans woman in question is in the process of transitioning well and in fact is almost undistinguishable as a former man. And, as someone in the room pointed out, got her butt pinched because she had a "nice one." So much for the toxic male male influence leaving that person!
Another problem the person spoke of was the sudden friction she was experiencing between her formerly understanding wife and her. It seems (among other things) her job has turned around unexpectedly to the point of offering SRS insurance next year. So, perhaps, when push is coming to shove, the wife is feeling the pressure of losing her former husband to a totally attractive passable woman. Stressful to be sure for any relationship.
I'm sad, because together, they make a delightful couple but not one which is destined to go long term.
Plus, too many of us still put too much emphasis on looks. And, the specter of finding a mate for the rest of your life has to be intimidating for the average trans person. No matter how well they have transitioned.
So, be careful what you wish for. It could be within your grasp!
All the attendee's were trans and at least on HRT except for one who was planning on starting soon. Two had already completed SRS.
One of the younger attendee's was commenting on a recent experience she had in which she has some off color comments from men and even butt grabbed. Most of the group viewed the experience as a rite of passage of sort. I think the differences are if the person viewed the experiences as a validation of their femininity or a form of bullying.
The trans woman in question is in the process of transitioning well and in fact is almost undistinguishable as a former man. And, as someone in the room pointed out, got her butt pinched because she had a "nice one." So much for the toxic male male influence leaving that person!
Another problem the person spoke of was the sudden friction she was experiencing between her formerly understanding wife and her. It seems (among other things) her job has turned around unexpectedly to the point of offering SRS insurance next year. So, perhaps, when push is coming to shove, the wife is feeling the pressure of losing her former husband to a totally attractive passable woman. Stressful to be sure for any relationship.
I'm sad, because together, they make a delightful couple but not one which is destined to go long term.
Plus, too many of us still put too much emphasis on looks. And, the specter of finding a mate for the rest of your life has to be intimidating for the average trans person. No matter how well they have transitioned.
So, be careful what you wish for. It could be within your grasp!
Monday, June 12, 2017
She's "Baaack!"
I did hear from Connie: "Well, you do have my personal email address, if you wanted to elicit an "off the wall" comment from me (maybe even to elicit an illicit comment). The truth is, though, that my modem bit the dust over a week ago, and I only just installed a new one last night - so I had not checked my emails during that time, either. The fact that I had well over 200 emails in my inbox, most of them not worth staying up all night to read, tells me I must waste quite a bit of time on a daily basis (I would have read one from you, whether it had turned out to be a waste of time or not :-).
Not having access to the internet is not so bad. Without even thinking about it, I almost forgot that I was a transgender woman at all! I suppose that speaks toward your post about being "natural." I had already been aware that I will never be able to go back to my old self, even for a few minutes, but taking a break from even the awareness of "transgender" felt good. It was like taking a vacation, really.
The funny (not really funny) thing about my little vacation came when I had to call Comcast for tech support. Apparently, even though I had changed my account to be in my new name long ago, the guy on the phone did not have that information. He would not give me (Connie) any information because I (Connie) had not been authorized by him (dead name). I was pissed, but I was unwilling to explain to him who I was. The result was that I had to go to the Comcast service center in person, and I brought my court papers with me to show my name change. That proved to be unnecessary, as the customer "service" rep already had the change on her computer. Still, I had to go through another mini-outing episode just to re-validate my own existence. So, "natural" is relative, and it still falls short of being a vacation."
Not having access to the internet is not so bad. Without even thinking about it, I almost forgot that I was a transgender woman at all! I suppose that speaks toward your post about being "natural." I had already been aware that I will never be able to go back to my old self, even for a few minutes, but taking a break from even the awareness of "transgender" felt good. It was like taking a vacation, really.
The funny (not really funny) thing about my little vacation came when I had to call Comcast for tech support. Apparently, even though I had changed my account to be in my new name long ago, the guy on the phone did not have that information. He would not give me (Connie) any information because I (Connie) had not been authorized by him (dead name). I was pissed, but I was unwilling to explain to him who I was. The result was that I had to go to the Comcast service center in person, and I brought my court papers with me to show my name change. That proved to be unnecessary, as the customer "service" rep already had the change on her computer. Still, I had to go through another mini-outing episode just to re-validate my own existence. So, "natural" is relative, and it still falls short of being a vacation."
While it's true I do have your personal email address, somehow time got away from me before I could use it.
Either way, I am glad you are OK!
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Connie, Where Art Thou?
In the transgender/crossdressing community, I know it is not uncommon for on line friends and acquaintances to "fall off" the beaten path and leave the "grid" so to speak.
Connie, though I am concerned about, since we go back so far and of course I have come to love most of her sometimes "off the wall" comments. Tied in with many very relevant ones.
To make a long story short, if you wonder why I haven't passed along anything from Connie, it's because I haven't heard anything.
I hope she is well and I know she would say, "Leave Art out of it!"
I "Doesn't" Know It!
I was reading with interest Mandy Sherman's latest blog post concerning her spouse and clothing Mandy wanted to wear. More specifically, a pair of white sandals. I'm paraphrasing now, but Mandy's wife all of a sudden was against her wearing the sandals which in the past had met and passed inspection. Obviously, Mandy was a bit confused.
I guess, no matter how far we transgender women journey to play in the women's sandbox, we still never come to the understanding of how a cis woman's thought processes work.
I face the same things with my partner Liz, and finally come up with I have a 50/50 chance of being wrong (which I am a lot!)
In my case, trying to get away without wearing a bra comes to the top of the list. It's like passing inspection from Mom on the way out the door with the best passive aggressive remark being, "You aren't really thinking about wearing that, are you?" I'm to the point now, I immediately turn around and pick something else to wear.
And then there is the "no comment" remark which is even worse. I ask her about my hair or clothes and hear nothing in return. So normally, I force her hand and go my merry (or not so) merry way because I know deep down I will hear about it later.
I believe the whole issue with most transgender women and/or cross dressers is we never had the in depth "training" cis-girls grow up with. In fact, I am more than a little envious I never had the chance to learn from an early age what it was like to grow up in the girl's sandbox. My feeling is, cis-girls are more affected by the mean girls before they form their own cliques to survive.
As I was Mtf transitioning one of my biggest lessons was, never totally trust a cis-woman's smile because often it hides a knife behind the back. As time has passed though, I have become quite adept at dodging most blows, or at the least, not letting them bother me.
Cis- women too I feel, use the changing of the mind to throw shadows which they learn at an early age. Flip the gender and wonder what it would be like to be growing up as a girl around brothers and figuring out ways to survive. Hey! Changing my mind will and did confuse them.
But since I did not benefit from growing up as a cis-girl, I can say I don't understand it. But then again, I can change my mind and say I do and Mandy good luck with those white sandals!
I guess, no matter how far we transgender women journey to play in the women's sandbox, we still never come to the understanding of how a cis woman's thought processes work.
I face the same things with my partner Liz, and finally come up with I have a 50/50 chance of being wrong (which I am a lot!)
In my case, trying to get away without wearing a bra comes to the top of the list. It's like passing inspection from Mom on the way out the door with the best passive aggressive remark being, "You aren't really thinking about wearing that, are you?" I'm to the point now, I immediately turn around and pick something else to wear.
And then there is the "no comment" remark which is even worse. I ask her about my hair or clothes and hear nothing in return. So normally, I force her hand and go my merry (or not so) merry way because I know deep down I will hear about it later.
I believe the whole issue with most transgender women and/or cross dressers is we never had the in depth "training" cis-girls grow up with. In fact, I am more than a little envious I never had the chance to learn from an early age what it was like to grow up in the girl's sandbox. My feeling is, cis-girls are more affected by the mean girls before they form their own cliques to survive.
As I was Mtf transitioning one of my biggest lessons was, never totally trust a cis-woman's smile because often it hides a knife behind the back. As time has passed though, I have become quite adept at dodging most blows, or at the least, not letting them bother me.
Cis- women too I feel, use the changing of the mind to throw shadows which they learn at an early age. Flip the gender and wonder what it would be like to be growing up as a girl around brothers and figuring out ways to survive. Hey! Changing my mind will and did confuse them.
But since I did not benefit from growing up as a cis-girl, I can say I don't understand it. But then again, I can change my mind and say I do and Mandy good luck with those white sandals!
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Finding your Happy Place as a Trans Girl
Image from Trans Outreach, JJ Hart As I negotiated my way through the gender wilderness I was in, I needed to reach out at times to find mom...
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Amateur, by my definition means a person who does not seriously pursue a certain interest, job or hobby. Ever sense Cyrsti's Condo ...
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I don't find many new womanless pageant pictures floating around the web anymore. I think it's primarily due to the fact that th...
I have been on the receiving end (pun intended) of unwanted touching, grabbing, and even groping many times. I will admit to having been a bit flattered by some of the earlier ones, but still with the accompanying creepy feeling of being violated. I have yet to slap a man in the face for his egregious act, but I have gotten to the point where I could muster up the nerve to do it soon - if not the very next time. Shouldn't slapping a man in the face be considered to be a woman's rite of passage, as well?"