Another Public Outing

It seems all of a sudden it is OK again to throw transgender people under the bus in very public domains for ones personal gain. This one comes from Canada:

"COQUITLAM (NEWS 1130) – She was outed as transgender during a TV news broadcast on Monday night, and now the provincial Green Party candidate for Coquitlam-Maillardville is hoping the slip-up won’t be a distraction on the campaign trail.     

Nicola Spurling isn’t pointing any fingers, preferring to call it an “unfortunate miscommunication” but says there are risks to outing any transgender person.

“Trans people face a lot of discrimination in the form of bullying, violence, being denied employment, being denied housing and being inappropriately questioned on a variety of issues surrounding the transition process,” she tells NEWS 1130. “And then there is just the general feeling of being unwelcome in society. A lot of people feel like you shouldn’t exist and that is something trans people have to deal with on a daily basis.”

For more, go here.

All in a Day...or Two

Several "housekeeping" items for you here in Cyrsti's Condo.

The first of which is (as reported by Jeni) the guy who outed Zeke on Survivor has been fired from his job as a real estate agent in North Carolina of all places. What he did of course was irresponsible at the least.

Second of all, it seems all my quiet time has passed me by as far as transgender happenings go. This afternoon, I am attending the transgender veteran support group up at the Dayton, Ohio VA, Then Thursday I go back for my monthly appointment with my psychologist to check what is left of my sanity.

Monday, is Crossport, a group of trans women and cross dressers here in Cincinnati, which normally proves to be interesting with the individuals involved. And, the Trans Ohio Symposium is sneaking up on Liz and I on the last weekend of April in Columbus, Ohio.

So all in all, the next week or so is shaping up to be a busy time and on top of it all. I am going to try to get my nails done (mani only) for the first time in my life which should be interesting!

Of course, I will keep you a-breast of the happenings! :)

Happy Easter

All religion aside, it is Easter and for many of us transgender women it is a time to remember how the girls around us seemingly had all the fun. After all, they were the ones who got to dress up in all the pretty colors and fashions while the best I could hope for was a new restricting tie.

I just could not get over the envy of the girls in their white or cream colored tights. Why not me?

It turns out, not all the girls thought the same about their new Easter outfits. Liz for example got in continual trouble for being a "tomboy' and getting her tights stained chasing a future Cincinnati Reds shortstop around her church.

Perhaps a better term would be, the grass is not always whiter on the other side.

At any rate, I hope you have been able to celebrate Easter (or whatever religion you worship.) In the manner which suits you the best.

After all, the world is too volatile of a place not to. Trans or not, we all need a special prayer.

Surreal?

Literally years ago before I embarked down my HRT journey, I read one man's comment that he would love to have his own breasts so he could play with them.

I am to the point now I understand where he was coming from...almost. After three plus years on the estrogen patch and spiro testosterone blocker, I have developed an unmistakable pair of feminine breasts, not man boobs.

I have written HRT posts before and received feedback such as I was bragging, or (the best yet), just another old guy on hormones.

What I have learned is, I have developed a very thick skin in addition to all the other HRT changes. As a matter of fact, I was crying during transgender man Zeke Smith's outing on Survivor the other night. Most times I am crying internally because I am watching it at all, but Liz likes it.

The whole Mtf gender transition process continues to be surreal for me. I am the first to admit I am dazzled by the external and internal effects of the hormones. For some reason over the years, I have continued to sleep in over sized The Ohio State T's until Liz bought me a pair of soft silky jammies which say "Live the LIFE you's DREAMED of."

How appropriate! And, probably more than she will ever know. When I wake up in the morning now, more than ever before, I feel the effects of my femininity.

I continue to thank the Goddess for my health to be able to take this trip at all and I feel at any time my doctors will tell me I have to stop for any number of other health reasons at my age.

But, until then I must enjoy everyday the best I can. If I take the time to look closely, it is all so surreal!

Did "Zeke" Survive?

Yesterday I wrote the "Spoiler" post on the recent "Survivor" episode which unexpectedly outed a transgender man who was actually back for another try on the show. First of all, hell yes he survived because all of us trans folk are survivors!

I received two comments plus I added the Yahoo News post: " On Wednesday night’s episode of “Survivor,” the world watched as one contestant outed another as transgender.

During an emotional tribal council with the group, Jeff Varner turned to fellow contestant Zeke Smith and asked, “Why haven’t you told anyone here that you’re transgender?”

“Survivor” host Jeff Probst spoke exclusively with Yahoo Global News Anchor Katie Couric about his reaction.

Zeke Smith

“Everybody there had to replay in their head what they had just heard. I was the same way; I think Zeke was the same way,” Probst said. “It was a moment of ‘this just happened… I did hear what I think I just heard.’”

And the comments here on Cyrsti's Condo:

From Connie:

1. And then the show outed him to the whole world! The "reality" of the show is highly edited to the point of being unreal (or surreal, if they want it to be so). I don't watch the show, but I read that Probst thought the outing to be surreal, and the rest of the "cast" was appalled by the outing. I imagine they made that clear in the final edit. I hope the trans guy was OK with it all. If so, we can all take heart in the fact that the show has given a lesson to millions that it's not OK to out a trans person. It doesn't hurt their ratings with all of the hoopla, either.
2. And:
3. 
   Jeni SkunkApril 13, 2017 at 5:31 PM

   "I read the news article on this, on Gay Star News.
   Whilst these unreality TV shows have never been on my viewing list, it's interesting to read of how this one did play out during filming, near on 8 months ago"

I am sure the "editors" on Survivor played this up for all it was worth, but the fact still remains Zeke wanted to play the game as a man...not a trans man. Which I thought was important for the audience to understand. 

Plus the fact still remains that we (transgender women and trans men) still are an oddity of sorts, but even still we should not be the ones tossed under the bus for being trans. 

Whatever the editing, the punishment was swift and the other guy was sent home.

Spoiler

If for some reason you have been waiting to watch last night's episode of "Survivor" , I will only say there is a transgender person unexpectedly outed on the show.

If you are not familiar with the show, a group of men and women try to eliminate each other through basically alliances and mind games. The final winner gets a million dollars.

Last night a trans person was thrown under the out bound bus by a gay guy. So much for the LGBT umbrella!

It back fired and:

That's all I will say!

Trans Enough?

Connie's comment to my "Are you Trans Enough" post bares repeating:

"I wonder, is it that we grow to be more trans, or do we grow to be less trans? Is it our transness that causes the dysphoria, or is it the dysphoria that dictates the degree of transness? If we are attempting to be "trans enough", just what, or whom, are we doing that for?

I grew up not thinking I was "Trans" - the term had not even been coined yet. I can remember only that I wanted to grow up to be a woman, even if I had to grow up like a boy to get there. In that sense, is it possible that my transness was measured by my ability to make myself man enough? What I know now is that I'd HAD enough of that! Enough is enough, then. Being who I am now is more defined by living my life as the woman I saw myself becoming, as a child - not the transgender woman I, somehow, was given direction to become by someone else.

Attempting to be "trans enough" is as limiting as subscribing to the gender binary itself. It implies that one must measure transness by how close She comes to the Female end (or He comes to the Male end) of the scale. Transness, though, would also include how close He is to the Female end (or She comes close to the Male end) of the scale. The combinations are infinite, and the only person who can decide what is "trans enough" for her/himself is her/himself. That is, of course, if becoming "trans enough" is what he or she was looking to be in the first place.

One thing for sure, though, one has to be tough enough!"

Bravo!

Dove Transgender Mom

"Dove is being applauded for featuring a transgender mom in their new advertising campaign for #RealMoms.

‘There’s no one right way to do it at all,’ says Shea, who is seen in the video caring for their newborn son.

The grad student features in a new video advertisement from BabyDove. She is one of several women appearing in the advert, including working single mom to breakdancers to cattle ranchers."

Let me pause for a moment to add my applause! For more, go here.

Are You Trans Enough to be Woman Enough?

This post is designed to be a twist (not twisted I hope) on the theme of transgender women berating each other about not being "trans" enough.

First of all, for most of us, just getting to the point of achieving a feminine external presence to survive society seems at times to be a close to impossible task. Then, when we get there, the realization we were just getting started down our journey could be a shocker. Hadn't we spent years and years studying cis women? How hard could it be?  Playing one on one in the "girl's sandbox" can be tough and there has been more than one time when I have been content to sit back and play my "trans" card as two cis women battled it out. I suppose on those occasions I was "trans enough."

Being a quote - unquote "woman" is tough enough. I have always said being a man or a woman is a socialized term and not one you are anointed with from birth. So you have to be transgender enough to even feel like you want to go through the whole feminine socialization process. In fact, the socialization process is tougher between trans women than a cis- trans casual meeting.

Of course cis women are trained from early life to "throw shadows" since they don't operate on the same power bases as men. (Is that throwing shade?) An example would be when they compliment you on how nice your dress looks, when in fact they are thinking it looks good on a man wearing it.

So, how does someone crack the "trans" barrier and be able to play in the girls sandbox as an equal partner? If I knew the complete answer, I would be a rich person. But, from my experience, being trans enough has taught me to be careful of what I think I am seeing from other cis women. I have had a knife stuck in my back too many times not to.

If that was my only criteria to being woman enough, I would have achieved my goal.

The only other advice I can give from my humble viewpoint is, be careful not to come off like a bitch and stay mentally nimble. Somehow you need to give off the impression you are doing more than just throwing on a dress once in a while and going out in the world.

You may need it to be trans enough, to be woman enough!