Here's Waving at 'Ya' Kid!

I keep thinking after all this time of Mtf gender transitioning, all the nuances would be lost on me, but fortunately they are not.

Last night for example, after I washed by hair, I lightly brushed it out wet rather than applying mousse and letting it dry. I found what it got me were long waves instead of tighter curls which I could pick out with a "pick".

This morning when I woke up, I was amazed at the results. I guess it doesn't take much to get my attention. Or, as Connie said "Oh! You girls and your hair." The proof to me though will be if I can keep it a couple days before the waves go out as it is almost time for another coloring.

It's always about this time in my hair cycle when I see what women see in the value of wigs and weaves to keep bad hair days down to a minimum.

The picture I have added was taken with a wig which matched my natural hair color.

While I think when I was able to wear my own hair was an enlightening point in my transition. Sometimes I miss my wigs from "back in the day."

LGBT Privilege?

Privilege? We haven't discussed it for awhile here in Cyrsti's Condo, so pull up a chair and have a seat.

Lets take for granted you were raised as a boy. What privilege did you feel over your girl counterparts? First of all, how do you define privilege? I define it as something you enjoy (or don't) over another person. For example, I was raised in a solid white middle class family. Once you get to that point, you can begin to make a true "apples to apples" comparison.

If you read my posts much, you all know I was thrust into a loving sports existence which kept me "safe" from prying folks for years. After all, how could a football player want to wear a dress and miss out on the adulation of playing? No one ever considered I really wanted to be a cheerleader. Ironically, the grass always looks a little greener on the other side of the privilege pasture because it wasn't till much later in life I experienced true female on female competition. Which can be as intense (or more so) than men.

Then, I thought if I could just wear pretty dresses to school everyday, how much better life would be if the boys were looking at me and asking me out. I had just the slightest concept of how frustrating it must be to try to pick out and afford all those clothes, then wait for a suitable boy to ask me out.

My biggest privilege misconception was that girls had no pressure. Back in those days, for the most part, the girl held all the sexual keys. And if they screwed up, no pun intended, they paid the big time price of having a child without the help of a immature guy.


I guess the true equalizer where I lived was scholastic. Both girls and boys were encouraged to achieve. And, as I remember, there was no insult to get "beaten out" by a girl.

So, as I look back on it, privilege was a pretty shallow animal until I became older. At that point, just achieving a certain age and look earned you the "Sir" title. Women at the same time ended up earning less money and less respect along the way. I distinctly remember the first couple of conversations I had with men. I was naive and shocked when I received a total lack of respect. Privilege then became a very big deal, tipped to the male side.

Finally, there is security privilege or the right to go where you want to, when you want to. Of course women have tremendous problems in this area, cis or trans. It was one of the biggest danger hurdles I had to face and cross.

It seems, for the most part, privilege is what we make of it, within reason. Each gender has it's ups and downs. The problems come when we try to see and negotiate the differences.

Just Exactly What Does it Mean to Me?

Not long ago I ran a post and picture of the most recent winner of the famous Thai beauty contest. I had several of you respond with (I paraphrase) that's nice, but what does it mean to me? Well, of course not much and that's why I entitled the post "Eye Candy."

In the comment section of the post, Connie and I began a brief give and take about the subject and the famous (infamous) area of Thailand where the contest is held yearly. She said: "From the article: "The contest, in its 12th year, was held at the Tiffany's nightclub in the Thai seaside town of Pattaya, which is famous for its transvestite cabaret. Like other beauty pageants, contestants paraded in national costumes, evening gowns and swimsuits." 

Transvestite cabarets and parading around are two things that do not make me feel like I am being accepted by society - not how I want to be, anyway."

As luck would have it, I passed through (no pun intended) the little seaside town of "Pattaya" when it was dominated by a big B-52 AFB over forty years ago. Back then, Thailand did have it's share of "lady-boy" bars and "girls" working the streets but then again there were the "Kathoey's" as defined by Wickopedia:

Nong Tum, internationally recognized Thai Kathoey kick boxer. 

"Kathoey or katoey (Thai: กะเทย; rtgs: Kathoei  [kàtʰɤːj]) is a Thai term that refers to either a transgender woman or an effeminate gay male in Thailand. A significant number of Thais perceive kathoeys as belonging to a third gender, including many kathoeys themselves, while others see them as either a kind of man or a kind of woman.^[1] However, when considering transgender women (MtF) as a group in Thai society, most refer to themselves as phuying (Thai: ผู้หญิง "women"), with a minority referring to themselves as phuying praphet song (a "second kind of woman") and only very few referring to themselves as kathoey.^[2] Related phrases include phet thi sam (Thai: เพศที่สาม, "third gender"), and sao praphet song or phu ying praphet song (Thai: สาวประเภทสอง, ผู้หญิงประเภทสอง— both meaning "second-type female"). The word kathoey is of Khmer origin.^[3] It is most often rendered as ladyboy or lady boy in English conversation with Thais and this latter expression has become popular across Southeast Asia.

It was in Thailand when I first was exposed to the concept of a "third gender."

My only point is. while the glamour queens get all the press (per norm) there are plenty of everyday Thai transgender women struggling to make it in society. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

What Goes Around-Comes Around

"RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — North Carolina's former governor says he's had trouble finding a job, even part-time teaching positions, because of backlash from legislation he signed involving transgender rights.

Pat McCrory said in a recent podcast with God's World Publications in Asheville that some potential employers are reluctant to hire him.

The ex-governor told The News & Observer of Raleigh (http://bit.ly/2mIhZh7) Monday he's doing consulting and advisory board work but some universities are reluctant to hire him amid fears of student protests.

The law he signed last year struck down local nondiscrimination ordinances and required transgender people to use public bathrooms matching the gender on their birth certificates. The backlash prompted cancellation of some sporting events and concerts in North Carolina."

For more, go here

It Caught Me Again!

Our Springlike weather for one week and back to winter the next caught me this time. If you listen closely you can hear my very horse voice. Needless to say, I hate it but I seem to be coming out the other side of it now, finally.

Plus, the "Rolls" broke down again this weekend and is in the shop again. Plus, the VA all of the sudden wanted money from 2016 which I thought I had been making payments on. Obviously Uncle Sam needed the 150 bucks worse than I thought I did.

Waah!!!! March does this every year to us, so Spring is about a month away! This year I even have some new wardrobe items!

"Mo Nouns"

More on the pronoun post which made a nice turn into privilege. From Connie:

"I don't think it's wrong to bitch about pronouns, as long as we don't forget those who are in less-fortunate situations. In other words, we need to advance our cause from where we stand, so as to set a standard for others. I've always thought that the best thing I can do is to lead by example. It is not only my responsibility, it is something I am afforded the privilege to do. 

My privilege may come from living in a liberal environment, but it's still taken time - and a lot of effort from trans people before me - for a more-accepting attitude to develop. I don't know that there are fewer haters here, nor do I think our efforts should be directed at converting them. However, by continuing to show the majority that we can fit within its norm, we diminish the haters' (misguided) perceptions of having permission to attack trans people. The haters will always be among us, no matter where we live. Our demands for respect serve to send them back to their own closets - even if our demands are simply to be referred to with the correct pronouns.

In the meantime, yes, we must be aware of our surroundings, just as any woman should. Any privilege we've been afforded to be out among the masses should not slip into complacency. Perhaps, a stupid little pronoun every now and then is a good thing, then. It reminds me to be vigilant, and to pray for those who are much less fortunate. Demanding that the pronoun be corrected, though, may well be a part of the answer to my prayer. "

Thanks!

What's in a Name?( Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post)

You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, just don't call me he, sir or buddy and by the way my male name was not Chris!

Over the past couple of years the name game became "uber" important to me as I reworked my life and gender. Following a couple false starts with Cyrsti's Condo (Transnation), I finally said to hell with it and called this production a condo.  If you must know, the condo is actually a big 1860's vintage brick ex commercial building which has housed saloons, general stores and boarding houses over the years. Somehow I didn't think all of that would make for a catchy name!

I also faced the bigger decision on renaming myself to reflect my transitioning status from cross dresser to transgender woman. I was positive my long blond wigs and the name Roxie had to go.   Looking back on my decision, the only mistake I made was I really didn't give Cyrsti enough thought. Essentially,  I was looking for a middle of the road feminine name so I adopted Kristy and changed the spelling but "Jessie" would have been a better personal choice because it was a family name and I loved the sound of it.

The whole name game is one of the most interesting and important facets of our transitions.  In reality it matters not if you feminize your male name, borrow an old girlfriends, or adopt a family name. My only warning is to be careful, you may be surprised how quickly your new name can become entrenched in the world! Quickly, There became no way possible I could ever switch to Jessie!

Never say never, because I did it anyhow!

Eye Candy

 Thai contestant Jiratchaya Sirimongkolnawin was crowned Miss International Queen 2016 on Friday at a contest billed as the world's largest and most popular transgender pageant.

The 25-year-old beat 24 other contestants for the crown, with the second and third place going to contestants from Brazil and Venezuela, respectively.

The pageant, which brings together transgender people from around the world, was launched over a decade ago to help transgender women feel more accepted by society, 

For more, go here.

Are We Really Disposable?

This year so far at least seven transgender women have been reported killed. The fact remains in some areas of this country and the world, trans women seem to be deemed disposable.

In a recent post, I mentioned how small a deal being miss-pronouned is compared to being killed as echoed in this comment from Paula:

"The last couple of days I too have been thinking about how easy I have it compared to some others, I am self employed, live in the civilized capital of a civilized country, and can still claim my White, Middle Class, Middle Age privilege. Young trans people of all colors in many countries put their lives at risk on a daily basis, and I bitch if someone gets a pronoun wrong!"

The problem we are seeing in this country of course is a rise in hate crimes as seen in the antisemitism attacks everywhere. And, as Paula alluded to, not everyone is fortunate enough to live in areas which are more liberal and civilized. So many under educated and under employed transgender individuals are pretty much stuck, waiting for change which may never come for them. Especially trans people of color.

I wish I had an answer to the carnage except it is yet another reminder of how we all have to learn the lessons of cis women everywhere, be very careful where you go and beware of your surroundings.