Road Princess

The reality of the last seven days was overshadowed by the place I was headed. I had no idea of what was to occur.
Let me lay out some details.

Photo by Liz T

First of all we were going down to New Orleans on a tour bus which is an approximate 12 hour trip on the road with nearly 20 other peeps older than even I. The good part of the experience is we were on a bus and the bad part was we were on a bus. I was able to spend mega time with my girl friend and see parts of the country I wasn't familiar with. Some of the country I want to see again. Some I don't. I had the feeling that parts of Alabama and Mississippi haven't seen many transgender folk. A bus rolling down the road doesn't present a problem but rest room stops obviously do. Also it's tough to blend with a group of 70 something women headed into a rest stop. Plus the first task was to win them over. I don't labor under any impression they viewed me as a card carrying genetic woman but I'm fairly sure the discussion over what I really was and my relationship with my girlfriend was. That of course didn't bother me and by the time the trip was over I was accepted by most as a de facto woman. Oddly, the acceptance showed me how far I have come down my transgender path and how far I have to go. I learned why reputable therapists and SRS centers want you to live as a woman or man before you go down a surgical path of no return.

On later posts (for all you statisticians) I will break down my perceptions of the public perception of me and no I didn't forget the basis of this all: Mardi Gras itself. I can only say the event is everything I thought it would me and more and so is the city of New Orleans itself. They do a fabulous job. Returning to the city itself reinforced how much I love the food, music and architecture. On the dark side, examples of the terrible devastation of hurricane Katrina are still evident. I can't vouch for other huge parties but I believe Mardi Gras lives up to it's reputation as one of the best. I'm far from a tour guide but I do have more than a couple ideas of how to navigate the area now and can't wait to go back.

I will use this quote often: "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat" because it describes my trip. My girlfriend gave me a journal to jot down ideas and I have plenty to cover and they are coming up here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Home Again!

Just rolled back in from Mardi Gras.
I'm fairly sure I can write tons of words about the experience...and will.
Right now I can say the week was simply amazing from all different angles.
I am going to try to break everything out to attempt to make some sort of sense.
Basically the trip was a blur of switching genders in the deep south of the US...not just New Orleans.
Name it and it happened. Acceptance, non acceptance- stares and stealth all combined to make this a fun and sometimes scary trip. I would say once in a lifetime but starting a new lifetime would be more accurate!
Stay tuned!!!

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Lou and Rachel

Remember Lou Reed and his classic song "Take a Walk on the Wild Side?
Here's a line from the song:

"Holly came from Miami, F.L.A. Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A. Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she"

Which supposedly was about "Holly Woodlawn"

It turns out Lou's source of inspiration for most of the songs on "Coney Island Baby" was his trans lover and muse Rachel," who has has always been "somewhat of a mystery figure."
And I guess she still is!

Packing for the "Big Easy"

Well boys and girls, packing for "The Big Easy" (New Orleans) hasn't been that easy!
Of course this one week adventure will be the longest time in my life living as a woman. On the road that is!

I have never been good at organization and who needed it as a guy on vacation anyway? Maybe it's the effect of the HRT or just the benefit of how I'm living now but I think I have a fairly decent grasp on this.
Here's how I'm approaching this trip:

First of all, the overall style of the trip is casual which is right up my alley. For most of my girl life I've always been a fan of separates. Jeans or slacks with blouses, T-shirts or sweaters are my wardrobe. I have been able to come up a good four to five days of basics which I can mix and match. Most importantly, all are very packable. 

At this point though I began to think of the other feminine items I would need. In a rare moment of clarity, I thought I would start at the top and move down. My shampoo, hair dryer and flat iron hair straightener are ready to go. All shaving equipment is lined up for tomorrow. I have a separate makeup bag which I'm trying to keep all my goodies organized into now then put into my suitcase just before I leave.

Moving down my body, barring any big accidents I have plenty of clean undies packed. I'm planning on an extensive hair removal session in the shower which should easily take me through the trip. (Thank goodness for estrogen)!

Finally, foot ware by essence needs to be comfortable so a couple pair of flats should do the job.

So, I know all of this sounds very complete and certainly will be great until (of course) I find out what I forgot halfway through the trip.

At any rate, I'm so excited to be going that I'm sure I can be creative enough to find a nearby store on the trip to help with any fashion emergencies!

Making A difference in the Transgender World

Ecuador could receive its first transgender lawmaker this month. Diane Rodriguez, a psychology student and trans rights activist in her home town of Guayaquil, is vying for a Congressional seat in the leftist Ruptura 25 party during the presidential and parliamentary elections held on 17 February. For more go here  from The Gay Star News.

And from North Dakota, Riah Roe testified for a bill to eliminate sexual discrimination in that state:
"Roe told the committee of her experience as a debate coach at Fargo North High School during the 2010-11 school year. During that school year, she taught as a man and testified that she received strong reviews at that time. Over the summer, while beginning the process of transitioning from male to female, Roe informed her employer of the transition process. Eight days later, she was let go. “I went from being a well-traveled individual ... to being a disgusting ‘tranny’ that was unfit to teach children,” Roe said."

The story is from the Bismark Tribune. Riah is shown at the left.

Can't say enough positive about these two women!

Early Morning Thoughts

It's 3 am Eastern Standard Time in the United States of America on the bit of dust we call Earth.
The good thing about being retired is I'm essentially on a 24/7 schedule. The bad thing about being retired is I'm essentially on a 24/7 schedule. Everyone except me is fairly certain I have all the time in the world.
Sometimes I do.
Yesterday I had time to get my hair done, go on a short makeup exploration trip and notice I was well on the way to filling out a nice A cup in the bra I was wearing. And before I forget, fix the damn plumbing in my house which thawed and of course broke. That's feminine, right?

At 3 in the morning, I'm still just me. Sometimes I wonder if that makes me less of a transgender woman? No it doesn't. It only means whom ever strung the wires in my head plugged them in like this.

Curiously I wonder if all of this means I have already gone stealth in my mind. Essentially going stealth in the outside world will happen when get out of my house of 30 some years.  Very simply what it means to my gender status is a total and clean break with the material positions of my past. I have come to the conclusion certain members of the human race will always sniff out my male past. I have also concluded in no way will that matter when I attend my next "Jimmy Buffet" concert next summer.

I tell anyone who cares gender is just a small part of me. Certainly there is so much more my overactive mind than meets the eye. I recently watched a television special on older human beings (older than me even) stagnating mentally. I wonder if I will ever get to a point to when I start to slow down?

All right, I know we are here to discuss transgender "stuff". It's 3 am and I just saw a belly dancer on a crazy late night movie I'm watching and remembered a certain friend of mine's offer to go to dance classes with me. I used to think a move (or moves) like belly dancing would be an impossible idea. From where I'm sitting now the whole idea seems wonderful. I love 3 am!

Magician

When I was a kid, every time my Mom went to get her hair done Dad would say "she went to the repair shop".
I some ways I believe that. Our hair does need a lot of repair at my age! It's hard to believe my first hand experience with a feminine salon was four plus months ago.
I know you are thinking "how the hell do you remember that Cyrsti when you can't remember last week?"
Well, it is easy for my less than agile mind to remember when I did make my first trip to the stylist compliments of a birthday present from my daughter. October 3rd  2012.
Perhaps you noticed the new picture at the top of the blog. It is from this morning. Trip number four to get my hair done.
I have found a new descriptor to add to my Dad's: "A trip to the magician!"

We Got Mail!

This comment actually came from a transgender person who saw my "Slippery Slope" post on another site. I felt it was worth sharing here in Crysti's Condo. Plus I so love to show my mailbox picture!


"Having lived full time for almost 10 years, having all the effects of hormones I'm going to get (not nearly what I hoped for), being stuck with some male attributes (mostly facial) that could never be resolved with the best of surgeons, and accepting that I will always be "read" as born male body, tolerating the cruel things that shitty people often say, I still almost never have those awful thoughts of turning back. I'm still willing to have the SRS at the drop of a hat (sigh, the money issue...), regardless. It's no longer the holy grail in the sense that the world will then accept me as 100% female. My friends do, and that's all that matters. Even in my own mind, I accept myself as a mix of female brain and male brain, though I feel my body belongs in female form. I think what made the difference is having a distinct memory of those days when I despised pretending to be one of the boys, and resenting everything that stood in my way of living as a female. Truth be said, none of us know what it's like to be a " ______". We only know what our *perception* of "male" and "female" or "man" and "woman" is (which is largely molded by the definitions our culture rams down our throat...). Just as we really only know what it's like to be ourselves, and not another person. If being OK with ourselves comes from the endorsement of the world around us, we're on the wrong path. Peace is something one creates from the raw materials within; no exterior force should be responsible for us obtaining it. I know... easier said than done. "

Well said!

Gender Mutts

A very common opinion among dog people is mutts are the best dogs.
Could it be a human "gender mutt" could fall into the same category? I suppose in a perfect world that would be great but by now you are thinking "just what the hell is Cyrsti smoking".
A transgender or gender fluid person ideally should understand the realities of both genders. Right?
Problems with this utopian idea are wide and varied.

Just a couple examples are one of the many replies I received to the "Dating your Male Self" post to the less than warm reception the average transgender or transsexual person encounters in the public eye. One reply said I couldn't date my male self because I never was one.  Great! I understand that but I believe if you have lived any life presenting as a male some of the world would rub off on you! Wouldn't you have some sort of an idea of how to react to a guy as a woman and understand the process? Doesn't that alone potentially make you a better person?

The world's reaction to us is just plain ignorance and fear at work. We can bring so much to the table if we are allowed. I have said many times here that women potentially cause me the biggest public problems. Some though do ask me why guys they love or interested in act the way they do. For the most part of course, men are too insecure to ask.

So I guess not only am I a genetic mutt (German/British), I'm a gender mutt too.  I may not be the most aristocratic or beautiful mutt in the room but I'm trying to achieve the other great qualities of our breed! I just wish more in our own community would get along better for the good of the whole. The world needs it.  If it realizes it or not.