During my time away from all of you, much has happened in my push to get the Veterans Adminstration to help my transgender status with hormones.
Here is a short recap for those of you who maybe are little newer here. (Forgive me if my knowledge of the positions and titles of some of the VA peeps I deal with are a little vague).
To begin with, the person who monitors the meds I receive from the VA said she was qualified to prescribe BUT...she preferred a consultation first.
I went through that process with four meetings with a psychologist and she approved me for hormone therapy BUT...no one in the Dayton, Ohio VA Medical Center would would or could actually prescribe BUT...there may be some other options.
One of the options was to go to an outside medical doctor and petition the VA for a co-pay of sorts. The first appointment with this highly recommended doctor was supposed to have happened today but didn't BECAUSE...I had a flat tire on the way to the appointment and couldn't get there. Really.
I was devastated and was able to reschedule in a couple of weeks.
I then backtracked and tried a recommended source within the VA for copay information AND..hit a brick wall.
BUT...we all know brick walls can be climbed or ran around and here is the latest idea from yet another VA person. The one person who had been left out of this loop for whatever reason was my primary care physician.
I was told if he approved the hormones, I may be able to get them from the in house pharmacy.
SO...I asked him and he responded he didn't really know if he would because I was absolutely the first transgendered person he had ever treated. SO...if I did follow through with the private phyiscian on the whys, when and hows of the proposed hormone therapy, he would consider it.
NOW...I'm very much in the game with a couple very realistic opportunities to make this happen plus some of you have added a few great ideas.
MY...final point is and has been, if a transgendered vet in California can be prescribed hormones; why can't I in Ohio.
I know where "where there is will, there is a way". Not a single step of my transgendered journey has been easy and I didn't expect this one to be any different. I only need the one person who is more concerned with helping me than covering their own rear.
If I can't find that person I will consider a few of the recommendations I have received on petitioning the higher ups.
If the VA is serious about their recent directives on helping trans vets then I'm serious about taking them up on it.
I will keep you posted!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Transgender Repair Visit
I started this post a couple weeks ago. Just found it and thought I would pass it along to all of you.
The day my internet connection was finally scheduled to be fixed I gave absolutely no thought to the internet repair guy being on time and wanting in my house.
The connection problem has been an ongoing one and has always been on the outside of the building.
This time, he wanted to fix it right and run a line directly to my computer. That of course was the good news. The bad news is he wanted in my house to do it.
Of course living by myself in two genders means articles of clothing, shoes and hair are all over the place. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Should have just faced the future and met him as Cyrsti. Truthfully, I didn't even think of it. I wonder how long it will take for the opposite to happen?
That in itself is surprising because I constantly think about the scenerios I haven't faced as a girl.
The whole situation would have been interesting as I explained how my messy boyfriend just leaves his things just laying around. You know how men are!
Fortunately most of this "middle ground" existence will be going away and I will be forced to "woman-up" and face the world and it's surprises.
Experience tells me one thing already. I have to get used to my IQ being lowered and knowing less around men!
The day my internet connection was finally scheduled to be fixed I gave absolutely no thought to the internet repair guy being on time and wanting in my house.
The connection problem has been an ongoing one and has always been on the outside of the building.
This time, he wanted to fix it right and run a line directly to my computer. That of course was the good news. The bad news is he wanted in my house to do it.
Of course living by myself in two genders means articles of clothing, shoes and hair are all over the place. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Should have just faced the future and met him as Cyrsti. Truthfully, I didn't even think of it. I wonder how long it will take for the opposite to happen?
That in itself is surprising because I constantly think about the scenerios I haven't faced as a girl.
The whole situation would have been interesting as I explained how my messy boyfriend just leaves his things just laying around. You know how men are!
Fortunately most of this "middle ground" existence will be going away and I will be forced to "woman-up" and face the world and it's surprises.
Experience tells me one thing already. I have to get used to my IQ being lowered and knowing less around men!
It's Just NOT about me!
In my forced absence from the blog, I had plenty of time to think about past ideas and expereinces of mine that may be useful. For some reason I had a chance meeting with a woman several months ago which was so forceful I probably missed the forest for the trees.
She was tall and beautiful, and the last seat at the bar just happened to be beside her and her friends were on the other side.
In a very short period of time she turned and used the typical female opening to a conversation by commenting on my purse. How nice and where did I get it. Interestingly enough, she said very quickly I didn't need to be nervous. The statement surprised me. Sure the place I was in isn't my favorite place to go but I'm nomally recieved well enough. I guess I was showing nerves subconciously but then again I normally am nervous talking to people I really don't know.
I knew of course she was attempting to make me feel more at ease talking to her but then took the whole idea further. She was also talking about all the people who took the time to stare on my way in.
I'm paraphrasing here but what she said in essence was she was sick and tired of being stared at too by a bunch of unsophisticated idiots. Just because she was 5'11 and had big breasts and was a former Penthouse girl she was sick and tired of people staring and she knew how I felt being stared at too!
Deep down inside I was thinking if I had only a part of the reason she was being stared at for I would be happy.
On a larger scale she is right. I have experienced the men who never see my face only my chest...even with their wife standing next to them. I have experienced the invasion of a woman's personal space (also part of our conversation). None of it is right, but is an integral part of gender interaction where I live unfortunately.
As she left, my biggest lesson learned was "It's just not about me".
Trans woman or natural beauty, being looked at is just part of the game. Her insights just proved to me again how huge a part it is.
She was tall and beautiful, and the last seat at the bar just happened to be beside her and her friends were on the other side.
In a very short period of time she turned and used the typical female opening to a conversation by commenting on my purse. How nice and where did I get it. Interestingly enough, she said very quickly I didn't need to be nervous. The statement surprised me. Sure the place I was in isn't my favorite place to go but I'm nomally recieved well enough. I guess I was showing nerves subconciously but then again I normally am nervous talking to people I really don't know.
I knew of course she was attempting to make me feel more at ease talking to her but then took the whole idea further. She was also talking about all the people who took the time to stare on my way in.
I'm paraphrasing here but what she said in essence was she was sick and tired of being stared at too by a bunch of unsophisticated idiots. Just because she was 5'11 and had big breasts and was a former Penthouse girl she was sick and tired of people staring and she knew how I felt being stared at too!
Deep down inside I was thinking if I had only a part of the reason she was being stared at for I would be happy.
On a larger scale she is right. I have experienced the men who never see my face only my chest...even with their wife standing next to them. I have experienced the invasion of a woman's personal space (also part of our conversation). None of it is right, but is an integral part of gender interaction where I live unfortunately.
As she left, my biggest lesson learned was "It's just not about me".
Trans woman or natural beauty, being looked at is just part of the game. Her insights just proved to me again how huge a part it is.
I Always Knew...
Out of the clear blue sky the other day I began to think of how "the other half" lives. I don't mean the rich folk across town. I mean the great majority of the population that lives a life never questioning their birth gender.
Quickly I realized the idea was as foreign to me as the way I live is to them.
I cannot begin to think of how it would have been to have never questioned my male gender.
At that very point I started to have a deeper respect for my friends who know and respect me for what I am.
How completely foreign it is to them that a person would question one of the basics of the human experience - gender. Not sex, gender. Not gay or straight but male or female.
I have written many times how I would not wish this gender journey on anyone. On ocasion though I secretly feel a life in one gender maybe rather boring!
Quickly I realized the idea was as foreign to me as the way I live is to them.
I cannot begin to think of how it would have been to have never questioned my male gender.
At that very point I started to have a deeper respect for my friends who know and respect me for what I am.
How completely foreign it is to them that a person would question one of the basics of the human experience - gender. Not sex, gender. Not gay or straight but male or female.
I have written many times how I would not wish this gender journey on anyone. On ocasion though I secretly feel a life in one gender maybe rather boring!
She's Back!
Well finally I persuaded my Internet provider to put me in line for a technician to come to my house. What I mean "in line" I mean it took them a week and a half to get here. Really?
That's the bad news. The good news is he installed a brand new line almost directly to my computer which isn't the easiest thing to do because the house I live in is a brick monster built in the 1850's.
So now at least I'm faster! (I know some of you are thinking of the old cheap and easy line here too!)
At any rate, I'm overjoyed to be back and have missed all of you!
I'm flowing over with ideas of new posts and will put them together soon!
In the meantime, my first appointment with a medical doctor to discuss hormones is tomorrow. Very excited!
More to come!!!!!!!!!!
That's the bad news. The good news is he installed a brand new line almost directly to my computer which isn't the easiest thing to do because the house I live in is a brick monster built in the 1850's.
So now at least I'm faster! (I know some of you are thinking of the old cheap and easy line here too!)
At any rate, I'm overjoyed to be back and have missed all of you!
I'm flowing over with ideas of new posts and will put them together soon!
In the meantime, my first appointment with a medical doctor to discuss hormones is tomorrow. Very excited!
More to come!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Growing Up To Be A Woman!
I surfed across this post on a site called "Are Women Human?". Debunking complementarianism and other myths of gender. Now I don't even know what complementarianism even means! I do know you all might want to check the link and a great insight to our lives and how our birth gender just didn't work!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Pretty Boys Make Pretty Girls!
From Wingin' It 2x19 "I Carlie" comes this story line,
"After a clueless Carl offends Denise on their first date, she shows him what it is like to be a girl by turning him into one. It is not long before Serge falls for Carlie, the new girl at school, and the pressure is on Porter to find a solution. He turns Denise into Denny to give her a taste of her own medicine, but the only way to reverse the magic is for Carlie and Denny to have a perfect date"
Here are a couple
YouTube" links:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HRuGS3HO2c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ti-1Tmy1R8 plus I will post a couple more pictures on our picture gallery page.
The Essence of Transgender Enjoyment?
As I move ever closer to a more complete feminine lifestyle, I experienced a pleasant discovery this morning.
As I was finishing my makeup and adding a touch of perfume I thought how much I enjoyed the whole process and dare I say natural.
I have been experimenting with wearing a soft cloth bra and my breast forms every night when I come home from work. A job I work in guy drag.
When I first started the process, I felt comforted by the whole experience. When I woke up in the middle of the night and in the morning I was able to come as close as I could (so far) to having my own breasts.
As time went on, I became more conditioned to having breasts and they gradually just became part of me.
Now I do know of course hormones will increase the sensitivity of my real breasts and all of this could be a moot point.
Sooner more than later though I think breasts just become part of the body for a woman except for obvious exceptions such as sexuality and appearance.
As I was getting ready the other morning, my breasts stopped being just a part of my body and became important in my choice of clothes. In other words they became very important to my overall feeling of femininity and that felt so natural.
I can never do anymore than just guess how a birth female feels with all of this and I am sure not a one thinks the same BUT I know how a certain transgendered female feels about it. The same way she feels when her hair has grown long enough to brush out of her face...surprised and excited.
Something deep inside is telling me somehow this was the way it is supposed to be!
As I was finishing my makeup and adding a touch of perfume I thought how much I enjoyed the whole process and dare I say natural.
I have been experimenting with wearing a soft cloth bra and my breast forms every night when I come home from work. A job I work in guy drag.
When I first started the process, I felt comforted by the whole experience. When I woke up in the middle of the night and in the morning I was able to come as close as I could (so far) to having my own breasts.
As time went on, I became more conditioned to having breasts and they gradually just became part of me.
Now I do know of course hormones will increase the sensitivity of my real breasts and all of this could be a moot point.
Sooner more than later though I think breasts just become part of the body for a woman except for obvious exceptions such as sexuality and appearance.
As I was getting ready the other morning, my breasts stopped being just a part of my body and became important in my choice of clothes. In other words they became very important to my overall feeling of femininity and that felt so natural.
I can never do anymore than just guess how a birth female feels with all of this and I am sure not a one thinks the same BUT I know how a certain transgendered female feels about it. The same way she feels when her hair has grown long enough to brush out of her face...surprised and excited.
Something deep inside is telling me somehow this was the way it is supposed to be!
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