It's Time!

The dawn will bring a major new possibility to my life. 
I have my first appointment with a doc concerning hormone therapy.
I have and will continue to discuss with you all the ramifications.
My major stress concerning our first meeting was deciding to attend as as man or a woman. I seriously have no anxiety of presenting all of my true self to the "Doc" from day one. In fact I want to.
The problem to me seemed to be wondering through a very good sized VA hospital complex. Of course there is going to be a showing of my very male ID.
All of you know this is not my first rodeo. From my everyday "girl" time to going to an NFL game, the world is not a stranger to me.
So why now?
I'm sooo fortunate to have a dear friend who made immediate sense of the situation.
She said go as the person I really want to be. If I really don't want to be Cyrsti then don't go as her and explain why I am considering hormones.
If I want to go forward and continue to push my male life away, then go and be proud of myself. Even her 8th grade son agreed!
How wonderful was her insight!!!!! Almost as if I was missing the forest for the trees.
I could toss you a rationalization I was being influenced by years in the closet.
Finally, she went on to say my male self was just a convenient crutch which was just weakening. 
It does seem tomorrow is the time to toss the crutch out!

A Great BIG OMG!

Thanks for all of you who have helped push the blog over the 100,000 hit mark!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think my little on line "diary" would make it to this landmark.
I do know in the vast universe enabled by "Al Gores" Internet, 100 grand is barley a start.
To me however, it is wildly exciting and I thank you all again!

Is Lady Gaga Really Mister Gaga and Should We Care?

I've eavesdropped on several recent conversations in my world concerning the real sex of "Lady Gaga". Possibly by now you have heard of "Gaga's" latest "male invasion" during the "MTV Music Awards" late last month.
One account had her male ego "Jo Calderone" using the men's room through out the day.

"Lady Gaga as Jo Calderone or Jo is Gaga?

Certainly Gaga's support of several transgender causes is commendable. On the other hand,. some of her antics are a little "Jerry Springerish" and self serving.
I won't even begin to speculate on Gaga's true gender.
I do however have a healthy curiosity. Is Gaga really a guy who transforms into an exotic female star or a female star who can transform herself into a realistic guy?
Or should I care at all?

Seems Like An Eternity!

It is Labor Day Weekend in my part of the world. Even though I was on vacation, I celebrated the holiday by working very hard.
The fun part was that I had the chance to work with my family which was great. The hard part was it was in an intense male environment. 
In three days I visit the "doc" to discuss hormones.
I must say the entire male experience which forced me to come in "recontact" with people from my male past did not entice me at the least to rethink my thoughts about hormones.
In fact it reinforced my will to move forward.
The event we all worked so hard to do well in only happens once a year. As everyone was saying their farewells and discussing next year's event...  I had to consider how will I be accepted next year as I move forward with some major gender changes.

Too Late To Enter?

	The 7th annual Miss International Queen™ pageant is scheduled to be held in the beautiful city of Pattaya, Thailand on October 31st - November 4th, 2011. Striving to advance and support today’s transgender/transsexual, Miss International Queen™ Pageant offers great opportunities for transgender/transsexual from all over the world to present their individual beauty and intelligence in a friendly atmosphere. The pageant is limited to the first 25 qualified entries. Applications are accepted and considered from persons between 18-36 years old. Miss International Queen™ Pageant is produced and organized by Tiffany’s Show Pattaya Co., Ltd., the world’s largest transvestite/transgender cabaret show and supported by Tourism Authority of Thailand.								Just Kidding! Go to the site to see why I and 90% of the real women in the world aren't in their league!

What A Great Idea!

This idea was passed along to "Stana's" wonderful "Femulate" blog.
It's from an Irish guy by the name of Dan. Dan has a blog where he lists all these things he wants to do for the first time. One of which is he wanted to spend a day as a woman.
Dan turned out to make a very attractive girl and went out on the town with sisters.He said he had great fun introducing himself to friends to see if they recognized him.
What a great idea to come out to your friends Dan! I'm so jealous I didn't think of it!
Of course Dan had never worn a dress before (wink, wink) and relied on his guy friends and the Internet for instructions on creating cleavage and the like. Women then appeared to put the finishing touches on his make up.
To think of all those years I struggled for ideas to get out in public as a girl! Of course there was Halloween but my schools never had any of the "womanless beauty pageants or weddings" that were and are so popular in the South.
Good job Dan on your first and only trip out as a "convincing" woman (his words). Right Dan!

Trans Star Rising?

Every once in a while it seems transgendered lives are spotlighted in a "normal" informational format.
Recently "Chaz Bono" made history as the first transgendered contestant on "Dancing With The Stars" Chaz has been a remarkable role model for the transgendered community
Yet another program was shown last night (Wednesday, August 31st) on ABC's "Nightline Primetime".
Nightline aired an extensive, five-part examination of the issues facing transgender people.

From 10 year Jack (upper left) to pop star transsexual "Kim Petras" the show presented an intelligent look at the trials facing our culture.
If you haven't seen it, I'm sure there will numerous places to view it on line. Of particular interest to me was the story of Jack/Jackie who happens to from a rural Ohio town. (I too live in Ohio)
I believe there is still a lot to be said for the values of "Middle America". If Jackie is any indication, we are on the road to a better future as transgendered individuals!
What really impressed me was the resolve of a couple of the parents... Just courageous and amazing!

"Queering The Tranny"

I stumbled upon this review of a book from the transgendered world that sounds interesting.
This review of "Queering the Tranny" comes from "The Weekender".
No I haven't read it but this portion of the review sounded very realistic and hit home.

"While most people seem to be under the impression that transgender
identification is entirely related to homosexuality, the truth is the
two are not always connected. In fact, Drummond has admitted to a fear
of being thought of as homosexual (which he is not), and is then
forced to study his own stereotyping and preconceived notions about
why that label has such a negative connotation for him.

Stereotypes play a large part in Drummond’s outing process. As he
describes his journey, it becomes apparent that many of his fears are
based largely on his assumption that certain people will react to his
appearance in certain ways based on, in turn, their appearance.

Throughout “Queering the Tranny,” Drummond succeeds at not stirring
pity in the reader, but rather a profound sense of empathy. Without
the context of growing up as a girl, he is forced to simultaneously
learn the rules as he goes while also fearing the scrutiny of a
society that places utmost importance on gender. He offers insight
into an issue that is usually treated as taboo and nefarious, and does
so with a sense of confidence."

As I said from the title to what I read in  the review, Alex Drummond has put into words what so many of us have lived.

Changes

Just happened to catch Jimmy Buffet's "Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude" song on a new local radio station I just discovered by accident.
If you have never heard it, here is just a touch:
"It's those changes in latitudes,
changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same.
With all of our running and all of our cunning,
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."
Jimmy Buffet fans are called "Parrot Heads" and I am a huge one! Jimmy is known for his great concerts in Cincinnati.  Unfortunately, as he gets older he is down to one a summer and it is one huge party! Every summer it is rumored he is going to quit touring all together.
I just hope he still comes next summer and I can go after I have transitioned farther.
In person the song would mean even more to me than it does now!