Vanity Rules The Night!

If the truth be told. I did come home last night and changed outfits for the first time in years.
The evening began with my "blond on black" look. A wonderful thigh high black flared skirt with a black camisole and a tie off sheer top.  It's a very cool outfit to wear on a hot summer day.
I wore a comfortable pair of flats and headed out to do a little afternoon shopping before I went to my favorite hangouts. My stroll through the mall and a couple specialty stores was very uneventful
I did know for sure one woman read me. Other than her nothing.
The first place I went is perfect for the outfit.  I've written about it quite a bit. Many upscale professional women frequent the pub so I fit in well. Very well I think to the guy who sat next to me who kept a close eye on my crossed bare legs.
Didn't stay long and took off to see the upgrade in another spot I go.  Visited with an older gentleman who is very nice and played a little trivia with him and took off.  My highlight had to be a "Hi" from one of the other regulars who had never spoken to me!
The night was still relatively young and I considered making one more stop at a place close to home. The problem was I was terribly over dressed so I did stop home and change to a comfortable pair of jeans and flip flops.
I suppose it could have been vanity but comfort was a factor. 
The wind kicked up and gave me a real casual "wind blown" look. I know for sure one guy noticed...how I'm not sure!

A Day of Thanks!

The world goes by so fast.
Days into weeks, weeks into months....you know the rest.
At some point in time a past due thanks needs to be sent out.
Thanks to all of you who read the blog!
Thanks to all who stop by to just check on me when I'm out.
Thanks for the opportunity to do it all!
Cyrsti

You Are What You Wear

Recently, we've celebrated heels, argued over hose and discussed mascara running over a sad chick flick.
All relevant topics in a huge screwed up world...Right?
Well, maybe not so much.  All of the topics however are very relevant to your own personal style.
If you are the mini in heels girl in the mall you need to own it as completely as the country girl in jeans and boots at the bar.
I have written in depth on my style which I call vintage hippie. Jeans, frilly tops and even shorter skirts are the basis of my style. I own it and it's who I am.
My current long blond hair actually reflects my age.  It's not too blond and is "used". What I mean is the hair actually resembles a woman my age.  The years of perms, styling and dieing show through.

All of that is all well and good but why am I agonizing over what I'm going to wear tonight?
It's very warm and muggy so I could wear a skirt. I could wear jeans and an off the shoulder top with my long off the shoulder bag or even dress the whole outfit up with heels and a tie off top? My destination tonight is full of women dressed all different ways so a specific look doesn't enter in to it.
As I like to say it's a game time decision.
What ever the style choice I make, the most important decision is to own it!

Chick Flicks?

Last night I actually stayed home and (as you can tell) blasted the blog!
Finally sleepiness fell in and I settled into to watch part of a movie before I went to sleep.
I chose a quiet fairly current "chick" flick film.  Never been really interested in them...should be able to sleep.
Except last night. I couldn't put the movie down mentally. I got soooo involved.
The movie ended and I did get to sleep and did my usual work gig today.  In the middle of it all today the realization struck me subconsciously I had crossed another gender line.
With no hormones.  Should this being happening this way?
What's next? Curling up with ice cream and a box of tissues?

Fathers? Day?

I realize we have a lot of readers here on the blog in all phases of transition to their chosen gender. Some are moving Dad to Mom essentially, others from Mom to Dad.
I have written several times I am out to my daughter so it is a non issue. Then again it isn't. First and foremost, I'm verbally out. Telling a person close to you that you are transgendered is much different than them seeing you. The next level of coming out to her will probably happen soon as I reach out to her about a few blog technology questions. When and if she reads this she will surely have a better understanding of my life.
I do however feel I will be Dad to her forever even as I transition further.
On a wider scale, Father's Day has never had the significance of Mother's Day anyhow. Dad gets a thank you, a small gift and the day comes and goes.
Perhaps that alone makes the day easier?
I'm sure it's a tragic day for those who have been severed from their family. Mom or Dad are words who don't matter when you are a parent first and foremost.
No matter where you are on the transgendered family spectrum, hopefully your day was good!

Just Had To...

I just had to pass this photo along from "Femulate".
The "Wow" factor of Australia's " Courtney Act is amazing.
Courtney is the person who auditioned for an Australian talent show as a guy and was turned down. She came back the next day as a girl and made the cut.
Wonder why?
Thanks Stana for a wonderful picture!
Cyrsti

Girl Power

As I slid into a pair of long neglected heels the other day, I wondered why I had shunned them.
Sure they are uncomfortable to me and other women they say.  Women are"just paying the price for fashion". Ha!
As I went through the evening, I relearned what all women know. Heels possess a mystical power. Sure, the  ways heels improve your legs and butt are a certainty.
Maybe not so documented is the way men are attracted to the mere sound of the click of heels on a floor.
I did kick my heels off for a barefoot trip in the rain. I did though immensely enjoy standing straight and tall in a pair of heels who lived neglected in the back of my closet. Walking slowly and surely through a room in heels is empowering.
I need to feel more of the power!

Dial "Rose" For Advice

Rose Venkatesan, who shot to notice four years ago as India's first transgender television chat show host now is hosting her own call in advice show.
I wonder if I have unlimited international minutes on my new cell phone ( I still don't understand) and I could call?
Rose, I have a question.
If I decide to place even less importance in my religious background (which happens to be Christian) and more emphasis on an ancient Native American sprituality which recognizes 4 genders...Am I better off?
Rose would probably answer "Cyrsti, all that matters is how you feel about it."
Of course I'm fascinated in learning more about a culture such as the Navajo. In a previous post, I wrote how their ancients believed in 4 genders and elevating individuals who possessed these traits.
Personally, I wonder if any of this effects me. I believe it's a wonderful explanation of how I can feel so feminine yet not desire the complete sexual reassignment surgery.
I've often wondered why I've never completely possessed a notion I was trapped in a male body and my being would not be complete until my genders were aligned. Perhaps my being was trying to tell me I was both?
Without becoming too deep, I wonder how all of this works with the demise of my male soul. Is he still there just feminized somehow?
Finally (for this post) how does this gender evolve fit in with the basic fact I used to feel a strong fetish involvement with female clothing. Did the ancients believe it would have been a manifestation of the female soul trying to express herself and the male soul reacting to it?
Maybe "Rose" could provide an insight? She is Hindu I assume and I don't know how her religion approaches transgendered humans.
The only real answer should come from the Navajo themselves. Unfortunately a 16 year old dual gendered boy was murdered in their culture. One act does not doom a whole culture but it does seem to make them more inaccessible.
The only answer comes from me it seems. Sorry Rose.  I can save my international minutes.

Barefoot in the ????

I decided to change my plans a bit last night.
I wore heels (with my jeans) and changed where I went...somewhat.
The goal was to get out of the comfort zone and see what the world had to offer.
All went well until I had to make a quick bathroom stop.  I remembered one of the big box stores on the way has very accessible bathrooms as you come in the store. On top of all of this, it was pouring down rain and I had kicked off my heels as I made the 20 min drive.
Fortunately, as I pulled up in front of the store it was later in the evening and only a few people were waiting to run to their cars.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and I decided quickly to pull up in the loading zone and run in barefoot.  No one could have really told I had no shoes because my jeans covered all but a few painted toes.
I have no idea what the guy thought as I hustled by and into the women's room. I did make it with no disaster and he and wife didn't give me a second look on the way out.
Interestingly, going barefoot in any situation is totally out in my guy life. Believe me I don't condone barefoot restroom trips at all. 
I just would have liked to know what the man thought about the tall blond who rushed out of the rain... past him and into the restroom.  One way or another I probably made his evening a little less mundane!