Gender Worship!

Teen age guy caring

 about his looks!

This morning I was doing one of my least favorite tasks, buying new work shoes for my guy self. Of course as I walked into the store I passed an attractive woman. She was well put together with a knee length summer skirt , tan top, sandals and light red curly hair.  I really wanted to run back home and go shopping for a new pair of "peek-a-boo" heels!
I persevered  and completed the task at hand. Dammit!
On the way home, I began to notice the women who weren't so well put together. I'm not talking about beauty or expensive clothes. I'm talking about the basics and how so many women seem to ignore them.
What happened here? I have rarely seen a little girl or specifically a teen aged girl who didn't care about her clothes or looks. When did the disconnect happen? Obviously the whole process became too much of a hassle. What a shame!
When a genetic girl comments on how good my make up or clothes look-it's a simple fact.  I work on it! I watch all the make up and make over shows and do the best shopping I can.
At least I know which girl I wanted to be this morning-the one who put a little effort into her appearance. Not the females I saw who were only girls by birth and had seemingly forgot the rest.

Do Clothes Make the?

As we finished one of her great home made dinners, one of my close genetic female friends decided she had had enough of her bra for the day and took it off under her shirt. The conversation then turned to how comfortable my bra was and what part do my clothes play when I'm presenting as a female.
Obviously clothes play a huge role. I'm still amused when someone asked if I dress from the "skin-out" as a girl.
No, I'm really wearing boxers under my denim skirt! Come on!
I'm like the majority of the female population. I like to look as good as I can and have to work very hard at it!
The clothes however are just an external statement of the female side of me. So no-clothes don't make the girl with me. The girl plays with and enjoys the clothes just the same as a genetic female.
The major difference is that women get to play with the "fun" fabrics.  When a young guy first starts noticing girls that package comes with soft and colorful female clothes. Is it any wonder that most of us start down this  path with a fixation on hose or other lingerie?
But if you notice, the males who transition into full time women lose much of the "flash" of their TG sisters.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I just wonder if the women across the table from me had been a transitioned female would she still have done it? Sure why not? If I had real breasts, I would have taken mine off!

So, clothes do make the girl with me. I have to wear them and I WANT to wear them to be the best looking woman I can be. However, there is a big difference in making the girl and starting the girl.  The girl already exists and is just doing her best to have a little piece of the world!

A Woman's Perogative

To change her mind? How about her look?
About two weeks ago I settled into a new look.  My new hair color is almost black (very dark) and shorter and straighter than I've worn in a while.
I'm fortunate to know a couple hairdresser/beauticians who lend me their advice. One told me to "darken up the makeup and bring out the eyes with heavy black eye makeup." As I worked on the look, my eyes really did jump out.  I have greenish eyes that sort of took on a steel blue look. Very dramatic and quite fun! The final effect isn't so much Italian or Latino but somehow closer to a Native American look. (I'll have to get a picture to post)
The bottom line is that I seem to present better, especially to guys in my age bracket (more mature! lol!)
My problem is that I tried a longer strawberry blond look last night and fell in love with it! It's more of a fun (Harley Girl) look.
The bad thing is I hate leaving a successful look behind (for awhile).  The good thing is change is there for the taking. My friends are used to seeing me change styles.
In my eyes-it's a girl's birth right. I love it!

What's in a Name?

So many labels, so little time!
Are you a cross dresser or a trans sexual or a trans gendered person? As I venture out more and more I get those questions. The most confusing answer is "I'm a tweener". If you put cross dresser on one side of a spectrum and post op trans sexual on the other, I'm in the middle. I spend a portion of my life presenting as female. I'm too much girl for the cross dressers and not enough for the trans sexuals. I've had no hormone therapy or surgery.
But aren't trans sexual women cross dressers?  Yes in the sense they can never become full females in the strictest definition of the word. No if you consider they are totally feminized.
So it is no wonder the public is confused about us. So are we!
It is frustrating that the "T" in "GBLT" is only used when the gay community wants an extra group to push for their agenda. Plus, certain sites on the web seem to place more value on how far you've climbed up the TG ladder towards surgery.
The bottom line is that all of this revolves around labels. Humans need them.
Sometimes it's fun to describe a gender "tweener"! I love to be unique!

Media of One.

Recently Gladd released it's ratings of gay, lesbian and transgendered television shows and networks:

MTV, CW Top GLAAD 2009-2010 TV Ratings

All public scrutiny of the media is good and some day the stereotype of the demented crossdresser/transvestite may be behind us. In the meantime each of us who goes out into the public have an important job.

As we interact with clerks, servers or the public at large, we really are pioneers in a sense.  We combat the "Jerry Springer" sensationalism by showing people one at a time we are just people too! Rather than putting our pants on one leg at a time, it might be panty hose!

We are a media of one. We didn't ask for it but it is a huge responsibility we should be greatful for.

Another Book Excerpt.

Ft. Knox in January was not conducive to either Jessie or I.

“Back in the day” basic training was an exercise in team building and endurance. Survival was the number one priority not fashion!

Survive we did and in reality, basic training was the last I would see of the real army. During this period of time Jessie was totally a figment of my imagination. Mentally though, she was as strong as ever. Sweet memories of smooth legs, silky stockings and lingerie intensified how much I missed the physical essence of Jessie. Adding insult to injury, my tour in Southeast Asia was in Thailand.  Thailand of course, is the home of some the most beautiful “lady boys” in the world. I could admire the art form but couldn’t participate!  I was not stationed in Bangkok so I didn’t get to see the best of the best but I do remember a “katoy” (boy/girl) who spent a lot of time outside the front gate at the base. He was tall and beautiful! We all were known to pick up a girl or two on occasion. It would have been difficult to pick him up discreetly but it could have been one of those life changing experiences. I never got to Katmandu (which was only a couple of hours from Thailand) and I never tried to pick the “katoy” up. The only two regrets I can remember!

The good part for Jessie during this time was her return was becoming a reality!

The tour in Thailand came and went and Germany became the next stop. Wedged in between was leave time at home plus a brief stop at a base in the states. Thirty days was plenty of time to let Jessie out and let her breathe some fresh air! Thirty days was also long enough to shave the legs for a week or so with “grow back” time.  I had the budget to treat her to a shopping trip and was in heaven the night she stepped out of the shadows once again. It was kind of like riding a bicycle. I was afraid she would be out of practice with the makeup and clothes but it all came as second nature for her. Just a small insight into how much she dominated my personality and how close to the surface she really was. The freshly shaved legs, the soft perfume, clothes and hair made me wonder what a “real girl” would feel in the same situation!

I knew what this girl felt. The night should go on forever!

Jewelry Fashionistas!

One of the malls in the area just opened a store called "Charming Charlies" Of course I had to check it out.  My window shopping indicated it was a wonderful store full of purses and jewelery and other accessories. I couldn't wait for it to open!
I was able to shop it yesterday and was not disappointed.  My only problem was I did not have enough money to buy of one many items.
Maybe you are lucky enough to have one these in your area. If not they have a web site http://www.charmingcharlie.com.
Check it out!

Right Place-Right Time-Right Mirror.

Returned home yesterday from an extended weekend mini trip and I had time to head out to my favorite Tuesday night spot. Cool!
Tossed on a predetermined outfit (often the best kind) and headed out the door . With me over thinking is over rated!
Arrived in time to get the last seat which I was grateful for until I could move to a "mirror seat". If you a "card carrying" TG girl, you know how important a mirror can be. You can check your appearance and see if anyone else is checking you. If you do it right.
All of it worked to perfection last night as a middle aged guy slid in beside me and ordered dinner. After he ate we struck up a lite conversation about where he was from, sports and his work.
The place was noisy, so we had to lean into each other to talk which he didn't seem to mind. There was no way to turn fully and talk face to face, so I could watch most of the interaction in the mirror in front of us. He was standing and I was sitting on a bar stool, so he was probably 6 to 8 " above me.
All I could see was a dark haired girl close to this guy leaning down ever so slightly to talk to her.
I was in heaven! Everything around me became a blur. I wished it could have lasted forever-but of course it didn't.
We went our separate ways.
He'll never know what a fun time it was! Hope it was for him too!