Thanks

Thanks to all of you who have made comments here in Cyrsti's Condo or perhaps are new visitors to the blog. It means a lot! This includes those of you who comment through Facebook. :)

As far as the weekend went, we had another Cincinnati Witches Ball committee meeting to go to plus the ever exciting weekly trip to the grocery store. Both went without a hitch. I switched up my outfits and wore my paisley soft leggings I love so much with my long red sweater along with boots of course.

As I mentioned in my last post, the two "C"s (Comfort and Confidence) mean so much when combating my gender dysphoria. Again, as I mentioned, I didn't realize how deep my dysphoria ran.  Perhaps it all stems from a few highly unsuccessful  feminine trips in the public eye years ago when I first began to explore a new scary but exciting world. Basically, this was back in the 80's when times were very different.  Most of my problems were self created to be truthful.

Basically, I made the mistake of dressing for men and not women. Specifically, I dressed too trashy and drew too much unneeded attention.  I was stubborn though and figured since I didn't get to go out much, I needed to go all out and get the most bang for the buck. All of it resulted into too many mini skirts and high heeled days.

The only time I was really successful was when I dressed professionally and happened to blend with other cis women dressed the same way.

Which leads me full circle to the night I went out to purposely be a woman and blend in with other women getting off work from a local upscale mall. I was scared to death as I made my way to the upscale bar and ordered a cocktail. The first lesson I learned was, I lived. The second lesson was (after I relaxed) was I lived and actually felt very good doing it. The problem was I felt so good I knew I would experience more problems going back to my male life.

Little did I know, years later I would still be experiencing much of the same feelings.

Enough of me though. Thanks again to all of you for visiting! 

Normal?

Saturday was one of those rare days when I felt relatively "normal." Before you jump to conclusions, I know the concept of "normal" is highly subjective.  To narrow it down, to a gender dysphoric person normality is being able to navigate society without being stared at or unnecessarily being singled out.

To arrive at the point I achieved yesterday, first I had to feel secure in the way I looked. I wore a pair of my favorite leggings, boots and a nice sweater. I felt the outfit was slimming and showed off my legs. Also, I was able to mousse my hair Friday night after my shower, enhancing my wavy hair. All in all, for once I felt I made the most of what I had to work with.

As far as makeup went, the less is more look worked well without my glasses. And, while I am on the subject of makeup, Friday night when Liz and I went out with the cross dresser - transgender group, another trans woman asked me if Liz did my makeup? I was stunned. I have always done my own makeup. I know too, sometimes it looks like it. Despite being a "natural" lesser makeup person, Liz used to be an Avon beauty consultant. So she does know enough to tell me if I look like a clown. Overall, my goal is to externally project as a "lipstick" trans-lesbian. Hows that for putting a label on everything?

As the evening progressed, we stopped for dinner at an upscale Creole Restaurant we have been meaning to try out for quite a while. All the cooking is done from scratch by a chef trained in New Orleans by Emeril Lagasse. The food was great and we were served by a woman who seemed only concerned about overselling us on appetizers and drinks. One way or another, It's always nice not to be noticed.

From there, our Witches Ball group was meeting for coffee at the coffee chain Connie hates...I will let you use your imagination. It's always good to get together with these friends who accept me for me.

So, all in all, the day was a reaffirming day as far as my gender dysphoria went.

I wait for it to go away all together but so far it shows no sign of leaving anytime soon.   

 

Say it "Ain't" So

It doesn't seem possible but Christmas is right around the corner and parties are already being scheduled.  In fact, I have one coming up on December 19th.

As soon as I found out, I did what most other cis women would do. I scheduled (or tried to) an appointment with my hair stylist.

I found out the soonest I could get in was November 22nd. Not my ideal choice but I found out it was the best I could do. Because I learned she was moving out of town and closing down her business.

She is the one who has a transgender son and is so understanding to the trans cause.  Plus, more importantly, she does such a great job.

Now I have to find another stylist or just let my hair grow out again.

I probably will do a little of both.