Shrink Wrapped?

Yesterday as I mentioned before here in Cyrsti's Condo, was my monthly visit to my therapist. The session went as expected with extra emphasis on Veteran's Administration mandated surveys they are over prone on occasion to give out. The surveys basically delved into potential depression and it's results.

We also went into the Trans Ohio Symposium information I recently received and I am scheduled to present one of the first workshops on Saturday morning. I laughed I would potentially still be hung over from the attendee mixer the night before which we always attend at Columbus, Ohio's Club Diversity. Liz and I always safely Uber about the city on our pre-destined trips to alcoholic venues.  

My therapist and I also talked about my trip to visit my vacant property in Springfield to pick up any litter as needed. It turns out no upkeep was needed.

As it turned out, when I checked out comments to the blog this morning, Connie had a different idea of the visit:

Picture taken at last summer's Cincinnati Pride Day

"Maybe I can save you a trip to the therapist (or give you something to talk to the therapist about). Have you considered that the littered vacant lot could represent your past - experiences you lived, but now wish would just go away?

I think, when we transition, we may be anxious to be rid of the male persona in favor of a new totally-feminine existence. All of our past experiences culminate into who we are, though. In the (long) process of transitioning, I believe that it's impossible to vacate our pasts, but we do begin to view them from a different perspective. Although there may be much that litters our past, the important things, like close personal relationships, can't be ignored. 

Today is my first daughter's 40th birthday (how can that be, when I am still in my 40's?). :-) I have been reminiscing about her this morning, and, although I wouldn't ever want to forget anything about her, there are some not-so-great things that litter my memories - the time when she was about eleven, and accidentally caught me cross dressed, being one of the most regrettable. We can't erase anything, but we can pick up the pieces and try to put them into a new perspective.

There are plenty of other things from my past - good and bad - that I will never forget, but I certainly don't talk about them as I might have years ago. Sitting around with a bunch of guys (even if they are in dresses), trading stories in a one-up-man-ship manner, is just not appealing to me these days. It only ever was because I was so into the overcompensation game of hiding my femininity with demonstrations of hyper-masculinity. Oh, how silly I now see myself to have been!

I often refer to the AA Serenity Prayer, because it seems to sum up my transgender existence:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."


Thanks!!!

Girls Afternoon Out

I had a pleasant surprise yesterday. My partner Liz and I were invited out for "Happy Hour" Margaritas with a woman friend of hers at a nearby Mexican Restaurant. 

The invite turned out to be a happy two hours of chit chat. We basically talked about the direction of the spiritual social group we are in. Which included future meetups, Cincinnati Pride and the Witches Ball.

All went well and I enjoyed being included in "How are you ladies doing today." And being called "Mam" by the male server. I don't think it will ever get old.

Changing the subject, tonight is the support group meeting of Crossport , the transgender - cross dresser group I am a member of. Normally, always something interesting comes fro it. Tonight is the big preparation night for Friday's clothing swap which we are doing in conjunction with another transgender group here in town. Last year I found a leather fringed purse I gave to Liz since her favorite color is purple. It will be interesting if I can find anything nice this year.

What I really want to say tonight is (and I won't) can certain members stop the stories of their old male muscle car antics. Or at least come up with some new ones. I just don't understand why some of these people want to glorify their old male existence as much as they do. A percentage of them though are cross dressers who still live in the male world. Perhaps it helps them to keep one foot in that world even though they are dressed feminine. I know years ago when I was exploring the impossible dream of coming out of my closet, I did close to the same thing.

Now I just want to forget most of what I did back then would just go away.

Speaking or going away, tomorrow is my monthly therapist visit. On the way, I am going to stop by the old vacant lot I still own to see if anyone has been littering it. I have been putting it off, so it's finally time to take care of any issues which may have cropped up. If I can.

Finally, before I forget. I hope you all have a great week!

Charlotte Clymer

Unless you are considerably better read on transgender affairs than I am, you probably don't recognize the name. I didn't until she burst into my conscience this morning on the CBS Sunday Morning Show.

As I was getting ready to undertake my Sunday morning chores (including a blog post...a fun chore) I paused to watch the "Opinion" segment of the show.

All of a sudden, host Jane Pauley was talking about resident rumps' position on blocking transgender troops from serving. Then, she introduced Charlotte Clymer, a real transgender veteran.

Trans Vet Charlotte Clymer

I probably don't have to tell you what happened next.  Charlotte proceeded to lay out her military experience explaining how when she folded a flag as an honor for a troop who paid the ultimate sacrifice, it didn't matter if the person was white, black, gay or straight and finally transgender or not.

Of course she went on to point out "commander bone spurs" (rump) didn't serve at all. Plus, rump was going against some of his top military generals who favored trans service.

I saw this literally about an hour ago. Approximately 10:15 AM, Eastern Standard Time.

I am also offering a video link to watch it, if it is still available,

Obviously, positive/strong opinions like Charlotte's are hard to come by and so needed!