"Back in the Day"

At last night's transgender - cross dresser support group meeting (as predicted), I had to go "back in the day" to remind the predominately younger group of how difficult it was to even be a transvestite. As you may or may not remember, back in the fifties and into the early sixties in some places, it was a crime to even be caught dressing as a woman (if you were a man) in public. I also brought up the days before Al Gore invented the internet and how in the dark our closets became. In fact, another of one of the older attendee's mentioned the days of combing through the local library only to find a book on cross dressing, then be afraid to be seen reading it.

Indeed things are better for the average trans or cross dressing person in today's society. Even the moderator commented after her glowing remarks about going to the Pennsylvania "Keystone Conference" last week that her ugly encounter with the gender bigot actually finished with a positive experience. It seems, even the band stopped to make sure everything was fine with her.

Being the bitch that I am sometimes, I added an experience shared with me by my hairdresser with the transgender son. He is fourteen and was in the middle of his first serious relationship with a cis-girl. Everything was fine until her Mother got involved and broke them up by using the religion card. I can think of nothing worse since where they live is also where the "Leelah Alcorn" tragedy

Leelah Alcorn

happened. Leelah was the teenage transgender girl who committed suicide several years ago by stepping out in front of a semi truck on a local interstate. All because her parents wouldn't accept her...mainly for strict religious reasons.

A tragic end to such a young life.

Other than all of that, the meeting moved along well and Jennifer from Oregon was actually back for a second meeting.

It all ended on a humorous note when several of the group volunteered to take her out for a "Cincinnati Three Way." If you didn't know, Cincy is known for it's highly unique Greek/Armenian
chili. A "Three Way" is chili with spaghetti and onions. I hope she enjoyed it!

Finally, leave it to Connie to come up with this:"So, are you the Obi-Wanda-Kenobi of the support group? "

I guess so!

Support?

Tonight is the transgender - cross dresser support group meeting I go to on a regular basis. Usually when I go, I wonder what imaginable support I could give anybody. Then I started to realize I can lend a helping hand with the occasional comment and by just being there. Normally, I am considered the "elder" in the group and can add insight into how life was for trans people even before there was such a term.

I hope too, some of my insights may mean something but who knows. Perhaps I am doing it as much for me as I am for others. After all, one of my reasons for starting Cyrsti's Condo at all, was to pay forward any of my experiences which could be beneficial to anyone else.

Changing the subject, yesterday turned out to be an interesting day too. The day itself could only be described as a "raw" day. Chilly, windy and gray with very light misty rain. In the middle of it all, here our little group was huddled in a local park picnic shelter discussing the Cincinnati Witches Ball Halloween party.

At the last meeting, I asked if the leader of the group needed help setting up our usual table at Pride this June. My answer came yesterday when she slammed a couple pieces of paper down in front of me and said since I wanted to do Pride, here it was. She was so angry and stressed, she ended up quitting the group a short time later. So now, since I opened my mouth before, I am in charge of our Pride booth. It's not that big of a deal if I can get the paper work and/or promotional materials we always use.

I should have learned along time ago, don't open your mouth and volunteer, unless you want to be accepted. Besides, I always have such a great time at Pride!

"Mom" Returns

Not my Mom, if she returned from the great beyond, it would be bigger news. This post is about meeting up with the woman who you might recall, harassed me a couple times about my hair. I made the comment at the time, she reminded me of how my Mom would have approached me.

Fortunately this time, I just had my trip to my hair dresser Friday, so visually I was ready for her.

When Liz and I arrived at the outside shelter house near a nearby lake, it didn't take her long to approach me. To her credit, she was very positive about my hair which indeed made me feel better about our relationship.

Then, she asked could she tell me something and I thought now what?  She paused and said how proud she was of me for living the life I wanted to. I was taken totally off guard. Finally I managed to blurt out the truth...I appreciated her acceptance but my choice didn't come out of bravery or anything like it. I literally didn't have the chance to be brave, it was either change my life or lose it.

A day later as I look back on her comment though, I feel now as if I finally found a sense of peace with my long deceased Mom. Whose approval is what I really wanted.

Thanks to my new Mom, Monika.