Survival in the Passing Lane?

Sometime ago I remember Stana on Femulate just rocking some hater/troll's world who told her she couldn't/wouldn't pass.I paraphrase but she (Stana) said "I always pass correctly. I make sure the lane is clear and use my turn signals properly." I loved her comment!

My perception of passing for years now goes back to what an long time cross dressing acquaintance said (again) a long time ago: I passed out of will power. Meaning, I was not a natural.  Although HRT has helped, I know I will never be a "natural" but that's OK too.

In many ways. I compare myself to one of the less than beautiful girls in school who overcame the shallow "appearance" factor to be a quality person.  She never lacked for friends.

Ironically, I was writing this post when I jumped over to Femulate and read Stana's latest post.  She wrote about "passing" meant women and men.  She is completely correct.  Women will check you from head to toe. Generics know the effort it takes to "present" at the highest level. They have to do it too.

So, these days, passing to me is having some sort of an idea of what is appropriate dress for the occasion to blend.  After I blend then I can pass and I am not writing at all about how I look. What tends to happen with me is, I have a tendency to keep interacting with a person or two I have met after the events/meetings Liz and I go to. Mind you, for whatever reason, these people are always generics. Men stay away for the most part, which is a topic for another blog post.

Finally, as much as I would like too, I must factor age into all of this. After all, I am 65 and I am far past being the sexiest person in the room. On the other hand, 65 brings a wealth of knowledge which I am just beginning to tap as a trans woman.  It is a narrow path to walk but so far I'm "passing" the test.

What if I Knew Then?

It's very difficult for me to believe how long ago it was when I set out on my MtF gender transition journey. I ask myself on occasion, if I knew then what I know now, would I do it?

Well, first off, I didn't really have a choice. I could have continued with my life-lying to myself and others about who I really am. Unlike so many others though (and myself for years), I had a door out of my own personal gender hell.

Give or take a few months, I think it has been five years since my decision. Not just pursuing HRT, but deciding to toss my male self in the dumpster.  In those days, I think I was out and about crossdressed three days a week back then. Out of all the blind curves I can expected to run into, my biggest transition surprise so far is seeing a feminine version of myself everyday.  My problems come from looking back at how far I have come, how far I have to go and what is the ceiling? What will I think of this post five years from now?

I have to tell you that although I can (and do) all the fun girly stuff like color my hair and do my nails. What I dreamed of years ago has become part of my daily existence these days.

Before you run off with misconceptions of about what I just wrote, in no way would I trade my spot in life today. Also, I can substitute "fun" for "enjoy." My example comes from last weekend when Liz and I were going to the Essex Studio's Art Walk here in Cincinnati. Earlier in the day, I had a chance to wash my hair which always brings out my natural waves and curls with a little mousse. I also had a chance to take off my old nail polish and put on a fresh coat of a new color which actually was a close match with my jewelry choice that evening. Finally, I picked an outfit which I thought was comfortable, a bit upscale and ideal for the occasion.

Certainly, five years ago, the day was just a fantasy I had of what a portion of my life would/could be like. The difference now is the planning and upkeep I need to do to stay up with it. Plus, coming into the Spring/Summer months, I will have to be more aware of my hair removal.  So, even though generics around me for years have gleefully told me "Welcome to our world."-that's all and good until you have to walk a mile in your shoes. That reminds me, I need a new pair of women's tennis shoes for the spring!  They certainly weren't on my shopping list five years ago.

Cyrsti's Condo "OOOOPPS!"

Un-identified cross dresser 

Ok dear, I told you there wasn't "another woman"-but you didn't want to believe me and wanted to meet her. Now you have since you came home early!