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| My wife Liz, anniversary image. |
Liz and I’s wedding anniversary was yesterday, and of course we had to go out and celebrate the event. It is actually our third anniversary after being together well over a decade.
Over the time I have written this blog, I hope I have not been
short on trying to relay what my wife Liz has done for me. So much, as a matter
of fact, she kicked me totally out of my closet, and showed me tomorrow was here.
I could live a life as a transgender woman, finally free from my old male self.
She was the direct opposite from my second wife who kept telling me there was
no way she wanted to live with another woman. Liz told me she saw no male in me
at all, and the rush was on to complete my male to female transition.
By the time all of this happened, and my second wife passed
away, I was well into my sixties and had given up any hope of ever finding
another serious relationship. Preferably with another woman who would accept
me. As I always point out, to combat my severe loneliness, I was working the
bar scene and even tried online dating which turned out to be a joke…until I
met Liz. Or she met me. She responded to a “woman seeking woman” ad I put on a
dating site and as luck would have it, she lived relatively close to me in
Cincinnati. At the time she commented on the picture I used, saying I had sad
eyes. Which I did, seeing as how I was going through the toughest time of my
life. I had just lost my wife of twenty-five years as well as nearly all of the
close friends I had to death as well as losing my business. I was grasping at
any straw I could to stay afloat, sad eyes or not.
The only main straw I had was my sudden dependence on my
strong inner feminine self. In a time of darkness, when my male self-had
deserted me, she stepped up to provide the comfort and strength to move on. It
was up to her to carve out a new life with new friends who had no previous
contact at all with my old male self. Against all odds, in a sometimes-hostile
world, she managed to do it, and my life slowly began to improve. With all the help
and attention, I was receiving from my new ciswomen friends, I did not have to
even give much of a second thought to the men who were afraid to approach me or
just wanted to treat me as some sort of a fetish object. With my base sexuality
settled again, it made it easier to feel secure in myself and move on with my
male to female transition. Often it seemed my life was coming full circle and
Liz was a major part of it.
During our anniversary dinner last night, we were fortunate that
the venue was very empty without even the usual screaming kids so we could reminisce
about our past and dream about the future. And of course, Liz took all the
credit (as she always does) for reaching out to me first as a “woman seeking
woman” post was an exceedingly rare response coming from any other women in those
days. Plus, I was not shy in pointing out I was a transgender woman made my
odds even more remote. If I received any responses at all, I felt like I had
won the lottery of dating as a trans woman.
Because of Liz, I won the lottery for all the reasons I went
into and more importantly, my gender transition which was always tomorrow became
today. It was time to give away my remaining male clothes and follow Liz’s instructions
on following my heart. A heart, it turned out, was feminine to start with and
needed little to no encouragement to live. Regardless, when tomorrow finally
came, it hit me hard and I needed time to adjust I really did not have. I
needed to fall back on the decades of cross-dressing practice I had to feel
more comfortable in the world. When I did, the joy of life I experienced was
wonderful and even more so because I had someone special to share it with.
To be able to live the way I do still feels like a dream to
me and Liz has helped me to realize my transfeminine dream more than anybody
else ever did in my previous life.
Happy anniversary Liz and may we be able to celebrate many
more together. And, thanks to all of you who have joined me in my journey. If you have not reached your tomorrow yet, keep trying. I am living proof it can still happen.
