Evolve from an Ally to an Accomplice

 A transgender ally is a person who supports trans individuals and trans rights. Now a well known transgender activist wants to experience evolution from allies to accomplices. Her name is Geena Rocero (below) an award winning producer, model and trans rights activist. 

Let's take my partner Liz for example of a person who is a transgender accomplice. Initially (9 years ago) she played a major role of finally shoving me totally out of a part time cross dresser life into a full time transgender existence. An accomplice who has helped me in the world in so many ways. For example, an ally will support pro-trans causes and candidates but may fall short in helping us with rest room issues and/or pronoun usage. In more cases than I can count Liz leads strangers on with my gender by calling me "she or her" So, if you are currently an ally and are looking for an easy way to do more, find out for sure what pronouns your friend wants to use. It can go so far in helping her cope with an existence in her/his chosen gender. If you are dealing with a masculine identifying transgender person. 

Also if you are an accomplice, you have to be prepared for setbacks. Unfortunately, most of the time, all you can do is lend a supportive ear. In my case, I am always prepared to fight my own battles when and if they arise. Ironically, Liz and I do quite a bit of hand holding in public, so I can never really be sure if a persons problem could be coming from us being lesbians and not in anyway because I am transgender. 

In conclusion, if you are an ally or an accomplice bless your heart! You are some of the kindest and most understanding people in the world and we need you! 

Nailed It?

 For some reason during quarantine my finger nails have decided to grow at a record pace. So, I have decided to let all of them grow, except the one next to the thumbs on both hands I use for any serious jobs I may encounter. 

Before any of you try to cheap shot me about attempting any "serious" jobs, I am the first to point out I am retired and outside of my morning walks, writing a blog and doing the dishes are the only strenuous jobs I do. No more restoring of old houses like I did in my past as a hobby. 

The end goal is to have Liz shape and color/polish my nails and go from there. With my luck though, at that point the nails will decide enough is enough and start to break. Also, the effect of hormone replacement therapy comes into play. For years under a certain dosage of HRT my nails were very fragile. Maybe the higher dosage I am on now has changed all of that. We will see.

Vote!

 If you haven't noticed, now Benedict Donald is now trying to fool around with our Social Security. Beware of "gifts" from crime families. Vote Blue!!

Getting By

As the days go by during this pandemic, I know it is increasingly difficult to keep your mental girl in check and healthy. I for one am fortunate because I have been able to exist with very few problems. I was able to set in stone my inner girl long before any of this started. When I get up in the morning, I am finally blessed to know which gender I am. For most of my life, I wasn't so lucky as I suffered from extreme gender dysphoria.   

Now my major problem is convincing Liz we can be safe enough to go out to dinner. We never get out anymore much at all, even to the point of having our groceries brought to us courtesy (at a price) by Amazon. Even though getting out doesn't do anything for my feminine self, getting free from the old four walls in the house certainly does. After all, getting my flirt on with the waiter who was flirting with me the last time we did get out to eat was fun. 

I feel sorry for all the novice cross dressers and/or transgender persons in the one group I am part of. They are scrambling to find themselves during this entire mess. Fortunately for them, there is a new group in the Cincinnati, Ohio metro area who is offering nearly total support services for transgender individuals. From therapy to hormones and beyond. 

In the meantime, I don't know why but the days are flying by and fall will be here soon. Unfortunately, people still don't seem to understand the sacrifices needed to keep this pandemic at bay and it looks like college football may be cancelled. Missing out on an Ohio State Buckeye season would be tragic. All indicators are pointing to the fact it may happen though. 

Getting by will be tougher for this girl. 

Lemonade?

 During the past several days here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the possible use of the drug DES, which was prescribed to high risk pregnancy mothers in the late 1940's and early 1950's. Possibly the extra estrogen in the womb it caused contributed to transgender babies later in life. It was one of those factors I read about when I was desperately searching for any information I could find on the reasons I turned out to be transgender. Until I accepted being trans, I was very bitter. In other words, I was thinking too much life had dealt me a bad hand, full of lemons. Connie picked up on the idea and commented:

" When life gives you lemons, and you want to make lemonade, first you must squeeze the juice into troubled water. Many of us get that far in the process, but then just find ourselves living a rather sour and troubled existence for far too long. It's the sweetness, which we find within ourselves, that must be added to the mix, in order for it to be palatable - if not refreshing.

When I learned of DES, I considered it as a possibility of an answer to my gender identity issues only briefly. By then, I had already decided that knowing the "why" of it wasn't going to change anything. I could give a bunch more reasons for how my mother might have been the cause of problems in my life, but DES would not have been her fault, anyway. The last words she uttered, before she died in hospice twelve years ago, were, "It's nobody's fault." Although she wasn't clear as to a particular thing, I have to believe that it was, at least, partly in reference to my gender identity. As sure as I am that it was her way of asking for forgiveness, it was also an expression of forgiveness for everyone else - including my feminine-self.

I could argue that there is nothing to forgive for my gender identity. There is an awful amount to forgive for how I manipulated things and others in dealing with it, however. I've often heard of the "sweetness of revenge," but that sweetness quickly gives way to bitterness. Forgiveness is the only way toward lasting sweetness in life. Put that in your lemonade and drink it!"

It's another hot, humid day around here so a big glass of lemonade will taste good. I learned long ago not to concentrate on the negative...or try too!

Connecting a Few Dots

 I have written here several times here in Cyrsti's Condo about my possibility of being transgender influenced in my mother's womb by an drug designed to aid at risk Moms deliver healthy babies. It turns out Michelle has researched the idea farther and had this comment: 

 " Just as with Sara Michelle, I too may be a DES baby. I could never find out if my mother was given it but with the research I did into the DES era, it was a strong possibility. Back in the 50's, doctors gave pregnant mothers DES to insure a full term pregnancy happened.

I remember feeling and acting like a little girl back in the early years. I didn't help that the hand me down clothes came from my big sister till I couldn't fit in them any more. I remember during puberty, when I started developing breasts which I was told by our family doctor that it was just a condition that I would grow out of. Guess what didn't happen.
I've included a CDC link to their finding on DES (Diethylstilbestrol).
https://www.cdc.gov/des/consumers/about/index.html I also included a link to the DES Action news site which includes information about DES Sons. https://desaction.org/des-sons/ As you can see the Action site seems to have more info for women but does provide link to other informative sites."

Thanks Michelle for researching this for us all.  And now another old picture of me from a summer past when I was out walking my old dog in a park.

What If?

 This is actually a continuation of the Cyrsti's Condo post on transgender choice and did any of us actually have any. And finally, why did it happen yo us at all. Of course there is no real answer except it becomes clear to trans people we never had any choice and fighting our gender issues was fruitless. The more I fought mine, the more it tried to kill me. Once I tried to cross the line between being a cross dresser in my mind to really trying to see if I could live successfully as a transgender woman, and succeeded, I knew deep down I could never go back. I felt so natural in a feminine existence. Unfortunately I was totally immersed in a macho male life. Naturally, my life was hell before changes came along and I could live full time as a trans woman. 

I spent hours trying to connect the dots concerning the "why me" of my life. Another person who sent in a comment on nearly the same issue was Sara Michelle :

" I also wonder what choice did I have as well, I was born in 1956 to a mother who had several miscarry's. I can't connect the dots either but I suspect from what I have found on the internet that she might have been given DES (diesterstilbastrol) ? not sure on spelling, as I look at it either enough went right/wrong on the final attempt and here I am! And there's that nagging question "what if ?"

Thanks for the comment! I suppose Connie can come up with suitable idea of what to write to describe when life gives you lemons, make sure you make it lemon based makeup!

Old picture from my cross dressing days

 

More Kansas

 The blogging Goddess was seemingly looking down on me when I discovered this post about Kansas's first out transgender woman politician who is about to become the state's first trans legislator. Her name is Stephanie Byers and here is part of her story from the Washington Post:" LGBTQ Victory Fund endorsed candidate Stephanie Byers (below) won her primary for a Kansas state House seat and is on-track to become the first out trans person ever elected to public office in Kansas. Byers was unopposed in the primary and her Democratic-leaning district makes her the favorite to win the general election in November.

Mayor Annise Parker, President & CEO of LGBTQ Victory Fund, released the following statement about Byers’ victory:

“Stephanie has shattered a long-standing political barrier in Kansas and is poised to join a small but growing number of out trans state legislators across the country. At a time when trans people are targeted with hateful policies and legislation by the Trump administration and in so many state legislatures, Stephanie’s race is a powerful reminder of where our country is headed. Stephanie’s victory, like every victory for a trans candidate, will inspire more trans leaders to run for office in their communities and that will be transformative.”

What Choice?

Every so often, I will happen upon a post when someone else thinks transgender women or trans men actually had a choice in the unique direction our lives have taken us. 

I wondered yesterday where my choices were as I waited for a mammogram. Over the years too. I wondered how I ever chose an existence which led to ridicule and rejection. After tons of introspection, I finally came to conclusion none of this was my fault, somehow I was born into being transgender. Then, as I researched further, I found our trans tribe has been around since the ancient  times and actually was looked up as being special by many native civilizations.  

Personally,  I happened upon a study of a hormonal therapy for at risk expectant mothers prescribed in the late 1940's and early 1950's. There was some sort of an idea the extra estrogen the medication put in the womb could have resulted in transgender babies. The reason I cared at all is I was born in 1949 and my Mom was an extremely high risk Mother. It all never really mattered though because she passed away and I could never connect the dots anyway.

If I had a choice at all, it would be to have back all the years and time I wasted hiding, scheming, lying and running from myself. If I had a choice I would take back all the passive and active suicide attempts I tried. 

It would have been interesting which direction my life would have taken...if I had a choice.