Saturday Night Lights

Well, our Saturday night turned out to be a very pleasurable evening.

I wore what I wrote about wearing and was very comfortable doing it. I went with my long black embroidered skirt and cream fringed black tank top.

What has become fun now is the managers and some of the crew are beginning to recognize Liz and I as regulars and are reaching out to say hello. It doesn't mean they don't know I am transgender, it only means I have crossed into the "so what" mode. Plus I didn't notice any of the other patrons paying me any undue attention.  I still am waiting for the day when someone comes up to me and asks if I am trans because they know someone who is. It has happened to me from friends/acquaintances but never a stranger...yet.

Then again, very few of us can "pass" totally and I thought I would "boost" this post with a comment from Connie:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEESeptember 3, 2018 at 6:53 PM

"I have to believe that very few of us can be completely invisible. What we can do is live in such a way that our transgender status is inconsequential. That is, we can define a new normal for ourselves, find a peace with it, and just go on with our lives. Although I'm quite certain that I will never go through a day without some sort of reminder that I am trans, I don't worry anymore about what that might mean to me, and I don't very often care what others might be thinking of me. Whatever being trans really means to me, I restrict those thoughts to the reading and commenting on trans blogs. I do feel that I have gone through quite a lot to get where I am now, and sharing with others - trans or not - those experiences and feelings may be of some help to them, just as it tends to be therapeutic for me. Otherwise, the rest of my life is not centered around my trans status, and I believe that most people sense that about me.

I hid myself for most of my life. I didn't start this transition journey with the thought of ending up invisible again. Yeah, I'm a trans woman - SO WHAT?! I'm so much more than just that."

Great points! Thanks

I am Transgender

Bye now, you should be thinking, well...Duh! But there is a reason to the madness of this post. The reason is:

I started playing with book ideas (finally) yesterday.

One of the happenings out of the past was just owning up to the fact I was?am transgender. The sentence went something like this: I am transgender...there I said it.

Before you judge, please remember all of this could change a number of times as I work my way through another "epic" non fiction work. This time, I am trying to structure the whole process to actually get it published in paper form. Not just in "E-Book" form like my last attempt which has just disappeared, along with the original publisher who shut down.

So, I am trying to make it more basic and informational than my first effort.

I need to focus on the fact this whole process  wasn't a choice and took a long decision process. I'm still amazed I can remember the night I came to the conclusion I was trans is still so clear to me, it seems like yesterday. 

At that point I backed track a bit an explained what being transgender means to me.  More precisely, trans to me means exactly what it says...crossing genders.

I also want to point out early in the book the idea transgender people live in the world often invisible to the public. And do I very good job of it.

All of this now is such a daunting task as I get started and (as I said) much of it will change numerous times as I work my way through it.

Then again, you have to start somewhere,

Labor Day Weekend

With the last long weekend of the summer upon us, I paused to think what the holiday means to me. Selflessly, not so much. Growing up and well into my working life I never worked in a union, so I could only rely on my friends who got back from Vietnam and went to work in a local truck plant for any ideas I had.

I like Labor Day because even though the hot weather stays around for awhile, I know fresh fall weather is coming sooner more than later. So, I am looking forward to the final days of wearing my summer time maxi dresses. Plus, I am beginning to look around in my closet for fall/winter sweaters boots and leggings.

I respect Labor Day too, because it gives me a bit of time to step back and admire the work it took to come as far as I have in this transgender journey. For those of you who are in the midst of your own trans journey, you know what I am talking about. So, congratulations to you.

The Ohio State University

Also I would be remiss if I didn't mention the sport of American Football is finally underway. And, with or without Urban Meyer, The Ohio State Buckeyes pummeled a much lesser opponent...The Oregon State Beavers. As the season progresses though, the Buckeye's will have some very tough opponents. Then, there are the other professional teams in Ohio, the Cincinnati Bengals and Cleveland Browns who normally aren't worth mentioning.

For those of you who have a holiday weekend this week, I hope the leisure time finds you relaxing!

Another Saturday Night?

If Liz feels up to it, we have been invited to another Saturday night out at an upscale Italian restaurant here in town.

Liz has had this persistent cough which is slowly but surely making it's way to me. With my luck, I think it will hit me at it's peak for my next voice therapy lesson next week, the day after Labor Day. Summer colds are the worst in my book.

As far as Saturday night goes, I am thinking of my "back in black" outfit. I have a long flowing embroidered black skirt. I think it will look nice with my black and cream tank top. Weather appropriate since the temperature is supposed to be near 90 degrees (F) during the day.

Since I am always reminded to "wear something nice" by the host cross dresser. I want to make sure I hold up my end of the bargain.

Relaxed

A couple of you observant readers mentioned how relaxed I looked in the recent picture I posted from Club Diversity. First of all, I thought it was probably the alcohol, or the fact I was surprised Liz was taking the picture so close to me. I just didn't have time or the inclination to tighten up.

What it could have been though was the venue. Whenever we go there, the whole place is just so inclusive and covers the whole LGBTQ spectrum.  So, anything from restrooms to ordering is pleasant. I am accepted for being transgender, no more...no less. In fact, I don't even feel trans there.

Also, for you who asked, the dress I was wearing was my empire waist maxi dress. The part you didn't see is the same green color with a black pattern mixed in. It is undoubtedly my most comfortable outfit and the most sensual.

It makes me wonder what took me so long to get here! Thanks for all the questions and comments on my good health! Without it I am nothing. 

Another Look at Priviledge

We received this thoughtful comment from Connie on our Cyrsti's Condo discussion of gender privilege:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEAugust 28, 2018 at 8:41 PM

"Earning privilege is what women do, while men are afforded it through social norms. Yes, I would rather be a strong woman who earned her privilege, rather than a weak man who attained his privilege at birth. In fact, that's what my transition has been all about. I always considered myself to be rather weak, as a man (although I did cover it up with a false bravado). I never really saw myself as having the power that my born-male privilege afforded me, as I could never even envisage myself as the typical male power figure.

I remember so well, after my father died when I was eight-years-old, all of the adult males who would offer their condolences to me by saying: "Well, you're the man of the house now, and you must take care of your mother and little brother." I never answered back aloud, but I would be screaming inside that I didn't want that job, and wasn't it bad enough, already, that I'd lost my father.

I grew up with only a mother, and I modeled myself after her. She became stronger after my father's death, and I held admiration for that. I also admired her wardrobe and her physical beauty, but that was just because I was trans. I believe I would have grown up with that acquired respect for women, even if I hadn't been trans, but being so raised its intensity, I'm sure.

There is power and privilege in womanhood, albeit, traditionally, in a subservient role to men. Men attempt to hold power over women, but they also do so with other men. Women haven't been so inclined to work that way, but that doesn't mean we can't take the lead with a different approach. I'm just sorry that I waited so long to put myself in a position to find success in applying that approach. Being an older woman now exposes me to another power/privilege problem: Ageism. But that's a different discussion, altogether."

I have always thought when some men feel their privilege is threatened, they lash out with violence. It's all some of them know.

Thanks for the comment. 

Travel Day to the Doc

Well, travel day to the Veterans Administration hospital in Dayton, Ohio went very well for a change.

Traffic volume was surprisingly light back and forth.

First of all, I wore my "Stars and Stripes" top with a pair of tight fitting leggings.

My first stop was to get blood drawn for my extensive lab work due later in the day. As luck would have it, I ended up with a woman in the lab who has taken my blood for years. She said I truthfully was looking good, which got my day off to a great start. She made the point she wasn't just being polite. If she had known how to say it, I'm sure she meant I was transitioning nicely.

Since I had to fast for 12 hours (not eat) for the honor of someone sticking my arm and taking blood, I received a food voucher for lunch. I went down to the cafeteria and ordered a chicken salad sandwich. As I stood in line, a very rude woman making the sandwiches was barking out orders. I thought to myself if I make it past this with out getting mis-gendered I would be doing very good. And I was right, she ended up calling me "he". There was so much confusion going on, I couldn't be sure and just wanted my food. As I was starving.

Next stop was to my new blood doc and a ton of good news. My iron level in my blood was very good. So good, I didn't have to have a pint drawn out yesterday. Plus the Doc was very respectful and called me"her" several times. Also, the all important liver functions were normal according to the blood work.

As trips go, yesterday was a success!

Raising a Man

Just as sure as a "female" is not automatically a woman, a "male" is not automatically a man. Both are the result of socialization.

These days in fact, raising a son into a man may be tougher than raising a girl into a woman. The question was raised by Cyrsti's Condo reader Shelle lles:

Shelle IlesAugust 25, 2018 at 2:03 PM

Just as confusing the very definition of what a Male is seems to be in serious flux as well.
Males are encouraged by some to be more feminized, the difference between Male and female is being blurred by the idea that males should no longer have any privilege I for one like that we are different.

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I think anymore, it may be tougher also to raise a boy too because of the changes in what it all means in the gender binary system.

In fact, the whole idea of a strict binary may be slipping away...I hope. Plus, any privilege should be earned, not be automatically given to one gender...or another.

From the Bar

This picture was taken Saturday night by Liz after several "cocktails":

In fact, this was taken following a shot of Jager :)

As written before, we were at Club Diversity in Columbus, Ohio. One of the most inclusive venues around.

Plenty of transgender women, even more cross dressers and gay men.