Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Raising a Man

Just as sure as a "female" is not automatically a woman, a "male" is not automatically a man. Both are the result of socialization.

These days in fact, raising a son into a man may be tougher than raising a girl into a woman. The question was raised by Cyrsti's Condo reader Shelle lles:

Just as confusing the very definition of what a Male is seems to be in serious flux as well.
Males are encouraged by some to be more feminized, the difference between Male and female is being blurred by the idea that males should no longer have any privilege I for one like that we are different.

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. I think anymore, it may be tougher also to raise a boy too because of the changes in what it all means in the gender binary system.

In fact, the whole idea of a strict binary may be slipping away...I hope. Plus, any privilege should be earned, not be automatically given to one gender...or another.

1 comment:

  1. Earning privilege is what women do, while men are afforded it through social norms. Yes, I would rather be a strong woman who earned her privilege, rather than a weak man who attained his privilege at birth. In fact, that's what my transition has been all about. I always considered myself to be rather weak, as a man (although I did cover it up with a false bravado). I never really saw myself as having the power that my born-male privilege afforded me, as I could never even envisage myself as the typical male power figure.

    I remember so well, after my father died when I was eight-years-old, all of the adult males who would offer their condolences to me by saying: "Well, you're the man of the house now, and you must take care of your mother and little brother." I never answered back aloud, but I would be screaming inside that I didn't want that job, and wasn't it bad enough, already, that I'd lost my father.

    I grew up with only a mother, and I modeled myself after her. She became stronger after my father's death, and I held admiration for that. I also admired her wardrobe and her physical beauty, but that was just because I was trans. I believe I would have grown up with that acquired respect for women, even if I hadn't been trans, but being so raised its intensity, I'm sure.

    There is power and privilege in womanhood, albeit, traditionally, in a subservient role to men. Men attempt to hold power over women, but they also do so with other men. Women haven't been so inclined to work that way, but that doesn't mean we can't take the lead with a different approach. I'm just sorry that I waited so long to put myself in a position to find success in applying that approach. Being an older woman now exposes me to another power/privilege problem: Ageism. But that's a different discussion, altogether.