Time Marches On.

As I was talking to my therapist yesterday, and brought up how quickly the Trans Ohio Symposium was approaching, I said it seems like it was only yesterday when I applied for my workshop.

She asked if Liz (my partner) was going again and I said most certainly. She even takes a couple extra days off around the week-end and makes it a mini vacation. Then she asked me what my workshop would entail.  As I have pointed out here in Cyrsti's Condo, I plan on speaking on "survivor" mechanisms for transgender women and trans men as we make our way through life. Such as cross dressing.

Oldest known picture.

I also plan to attack the "I'm more trans than you fallacy" as well as levels of transition.

Now though, after my latest support meeting, I'm thinking of adding "hitting walls" into my workshop. After, the so called self appointed "social director" of the group was not her usually "bubbly"self. Personally, I think she has hit a wall. She is just starting HRT (hormone replacement therapy) has divorced her wife and spends nearly every night out with a close knit group of trans women and/or cross dressers. As I have often said,  sooner more than later, we all find out that being transgender women is more like being cis women in the world. All the pretty clothes can't make you happy all of the time. Life goes on, and yes sometimes it does become rather mundane.

Plus, after you climb one wall, you have to rest and decide when and if you are going to climb the next one. Which invariably could lead you to genital realignment surgery, if you desire it enough. Even SRS though, seemingly hasn't satisfied some of the trans women I have known over the years.

I just may be adding "walls" to my workshop! 

Back Home Again

Well, a couple of my busy days have come and gone now. Both trips to the Dayton, Ohio VA Hospital. Which is a two hundred mile round trip.

Both concluded with some bits of good news. First and foremost, my old car made the trips without incident (knock on my wooden head), and second, my blood iron levels were in line and I didn't have to subject myself to my least fave clinician to get abused again. Verbally by mis pronouning me, and or screwing up the whole process of getting my blood to come out. I hold her responsible, because the others I have had there have been so good.

Today, my visit to the therapist was less than normal time wise, because she was getting sick. So, we mainly talked about my decision to "volunteer" to do more outreach work with the transgender - cross dresser support group I am a member of here in Cincinnati. I was feeling a small amount of guilt because since I am retired, I could go in the daytime and help out. I had to laugh a bit when she asked if volunteering was a good idea for me. I have questioned it quite a bit too but have come to the conclusion, why not?

I most certainly don't have a problem with talking to groups and already have an outline of presentations I have used for my Trans Ohio Symposium workshops, and others.

My therapist is even thinking about going to the "providers" day presentations at Trans Ohio this year.

As far as what I wore, the only major change was the last couple of days, I wore my hair tied back. Which turned out to be a good move since it turned out to be very windy and warm one of the days.

So all is good!

Alone on an Island

On the rare occasions anymore when I get the question on how it is to be transgender, I reply, it used to be like being alone on an island.

Back in the day, in the pre internet dark ages, it was really the case. I know I felt so alone. I just had to be the only boy ever who wanted to cross dress and be a girl. Slowly but surely though, I found out other boys wanted to be Shirley too. When I discovered Virginia Prince (right) and the term transvestite.

One of the first "facts" I discovered was most transvestites were not gay. Much to my relief at the time. Little did I know, I was just not having sexuality issues, just gender ones.

At any rate, as soon as I could... when I got out of the Army, I paid for a subscription to "Transvestia Magazine." From the magazine I learned of an actual chapter within driving distance of me in Cleveland, Ohio. From there, I set out to actually meet other inhabitants of my island which I discovered wasn't so uninhabited after all. Plus I learned not all were so called heterosexuals either.

From the group in the days before transgender was even a popular term, I discovered there was a real cross section of inhabitants on my island. I met everyone from cross dressing bitches to guys in dresses smoking cigars. But most intriguing to me were the very few participants who just seemed so feminine and natural. It seemed, they had found their true calling in life as women. I often wondered at the time if I could (or would) ever be able to explore such a path.

The more I did explore, the more I found my little island wasn't so little anymore, and was full of very interesting critters.

Along the way, the search led me to more than a few twists and turns. Plus life turned out to be exceedingly difficult at times, but never boring. I came to like my island!

Sunday Final

Well, another week has come and gone, all too quickly.

On the positive side, I gained back my old friend, my lap top computer, I use to write with. Plus, I need to stop procrastinating and back up all my writing stored on the computer. One of these days, I am going to get serious and start in earnest my second book. The first one disappeared from Amazon when the company which published it went out of business.

This year, (knock on wood), I am in a tad bit of

Friday Night Get Together last month with Liz (left) and Jill
(Right)

a better financial situation, so I hopefully can afford to buy some help with the book this time. To be sure, I won't know how to act...or write!

Also, this week, saw another trip to my transgender veteran support group, lots of rain around here and yet another break down of one of our old cars. The car has been repaired and is ready to go, for awhile. Such is life.

The fashion news here in Cyrsti's Condo revolved around the wearing of straight legged jeans. Some, I know some would not consider jeans very exciting, but for those of us who live a full time feminine trans life, jeans are a staple of our existence. Just like any cis woman.

Nationally, of course, our collective hearts were ripped out again by a senseless  tragic school shooting in Florida. The words sound hollow, but maybe this time, change will be fueled by a youthful backed movement. Not unlike the one which got us out of the ridiculous Vietnam War.

So it seems like anymore, there are no more non eventful weeks in this country. We all seem to be taking a deep breath as we wait for something else to happen. A serious problem with our lack of leadership.

All of a sudden, straight legged jeans seem very mundane.

Back Home

I am back on my lap top today. Never in my life did I ever think I would ever be so addicted to a technology device (except my cell phone.)

Now it's easier for me to import pictures and links, etc. Plus, as I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I rely also on my spell check too!

Plus, it is much easier for me to transfer many of my posts to Facebook or Twitter.

All of this reminds me of my fave jeans, straight legged, which are starting to become fashionably threadbare from wearing and washing.

I know Connie wrote in after the Fabulous After 40 post on straight legged jeans, saying she has a pair of work jeans which are almost to the point of being "distressed denim" too.

Most certainly it's easier on a transgender woman for her jeans to absorb all the stress!

Busy Week on Tap

For some reason, this always seems to happen to me, almost everything backs up into one week. Next week is shaping up to be one of those.

For example, Monday is the transgender - cross dressers support group meeting I go to fairly regularly. I go, because normally something happens which is quite interesting from one person, or another. After all, where else could I have met a transgender woman who is registering legally pregnant from her blood tests?

And, speaking of blood, Tuesday is my three month regular appointment with the vampires at my hematologist. They check for excess iron in my blood and take a pint out if it is too high. I have a certain trepidation due to the fact the person doing the work last time was not very good. The two before her were excellent.  One way or another though, I will get through it.

Wednesday, is my monthly meeting with my therapist. At which time, I will bitch about being mis-gendered from the incompetent clinician from the day before. Being the comprehensive therapist she is, she will commiserate and tell me to call her out...regardless of the needle in my arm.

Friday, is another scheduled  karaoke night get together with the trans-cross dresser support group. I have to give a couple of them credit for getting up there and trying to belt out very difficult songs. I understand the whys, but not so much the hows. For example, I don't think I will ever be able to listen to The Rose by Bette Midler the same again.

Finally Saturday, is our usual day to run errands and go to Liz's karate class.

Years ago, if anyone had tried to tell me my life as a transgender woman would be this active, I wouldn't have understood how it could.

Straight Leg Jeans

If for one reason or another, you have never been able to wear skinny jeans, good news is coming for the Spring. New, straight leg jeans are in, according to Debra Borland and the Fabulous After 40 fashion blog.

If you are like me, you may have asked what's the difference?  According to the blog:

"The main difference is basically the width of the leg opening. Skinny leg jeans have a closely tapered fit that hugs the thighs and calves and continues all the way to the ankle.  Straight leg jeans fall straight down from the hip to  ankle. Although snug through the thighs, there’s more breathing room through the knees, calves, and ankles."

And, more importantly:

"Straight leg jeans are considered a classic and look good on everyone because they’re more forgiving than skinny jeans. They’re particularly flattering on pear-shaped gals and inverted triangle bodies because the wider leg opening helps balance out these body types. Hourglass figures can also rock a pair of ladies straight leg jeans and gals with wide calves appreciate the extra width through the lower leg area."

Follow the link above for more information on making your transgender or cross dresser presentation even better!

Heads Up? Or Down?

I recently revisited experiences I have had being mis-gendered, mostly in medical situations.  Very simply, I have basically have given myself only a couple alternatives when I respond.

My one hard and fast rule is to be very kind to anyone who is about to stick a needle into me. My second rule is to call anyone else out on their blunder. I feel it is up to me to educate people on what to do when they encounter a transgender woman or trans man.

Connie wrote in and took her rules to a different level:

"When I've been mis-gendered or had my dead name used in the past (it hasn't happened since changing my name and gender markers), while in a waiting room, I would always stay seated for a few seconds and not respond to the call. People in waiting rooms tend to look up upon hearing anyone's name, but they go back to their magazine within a few seconds. I always figured that I would be contributing to the outing of myself had I responded immediately, and waiting just those few seconds allowed me to discreetly answer the call. Of course, timing is everything, as I needed to also make eye contact with the caller before she or he repeated. After we were in a private place, I would correct them politely. 

My spouse works in a dentists office. They are careful to be respectful of trans patients, and they clearly mark charts pertaining to preferred name and pronouns. Just a couple weeks ago, though, there was a new assistant in the office for a one-day "working interview." While calling the trans woman patient to the back, she did use the proper name, but she blew the encounter - and her interview - by proclaiming: "You don't look like a man at all!" I think she meant it as a compliment, but it just goes to show that even the well-intentioned can be ignorant, misinformed or uninformed. Of course, there are plenty of people who are just plain stupid, as well."

Good point! Thanks Connie.

Karate Banquet

Sometime ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote about going to a karate banquet held by Liz's organization.

I finally did get a picture of us to send along:

As you can tell, it's time to color my hair again!