Exceeding Trans Expectations?

For years I worked in a highly competitive industry in which, success was decided on a daily basis. What have you done for me lately was the rule.

As so often happens, by chance yesterday, Liz and I started talking about expectations and how they affect growing up transgender, or as a cross dresser. Being a cis woman, her idol for a long time was Christie Brinkley. Then of course, harsh reality set in and she learned she would never achieve the lofty heights of Brinkley's beauty.

As we compared mental notes, we began to connect the dots between growing up cis, versus transgender.

I said, Raquel Welch was, (and is) the cis woman of my dreams. I often wondered what I could ever give up to look like her for one day.

Like so many dreams, unrealistic expectations come and go, but if you are creative and persistent, realistic expectations can be achieved.

First of all, I had to learn what looking good (for a man in a dress) meant, then begin to discover the hard way what my positives were. Examples were, people told me I had wonderful eyes and I started to play them up. More importantly, I learned to dress for other women and not how my male self would view me. In other words, Raquel had to go away, to be replaced by the desire to blend in with other women around me.

Raquel Welch

As I achieved it, I started to relax my expectations of how I looked and began in earnest to discover my full personality as a transgender woman.

To my surprise, over time, I couldn't believe the expectations I did achieve.

Sorry Raquel, still love you. Just not as much :).

How Many of us do Blackface?

I am sure many "Terf's" or feminists who want to exclude us out of hand from any feminine discussion, would also want to group all of us into one group (transgender, cross dressers and drag queens) into one category, and say yes.

Internally though, we know that is not true and the answer is so much more complex.  Blackface by definition is a form of  theatrical makeup by primarily non black performers to represent a black person. So drag queens by definition could fall into a similar definition. Primarily gay cis males who use forms of makeup to represent women.

From there on, the comparison gets murky.

Cross dressers, are primarily "straight" cis men who often are feeding a deep seated need to look like cis-women. You can draw your own conclusions if that is a form of "black face" or not. The old term "transvestite" can also be applied here, if you like.

Finally, when you consider transgender women, "black face" should not enter into the conversation at all.

Being over simplistic on purpose, trans women want to do much more than just look like cis-women, they want to live like one. The deep seated need to live a feminine life often takes over one's life, even to the point of ending a life if nothing can be done. Insert, transsexual here if you would like.

My difference between the two is ideally a transsexual woman (or man) deeply desires to have genital surgery to complete their gender identity, where as a transgender person is more content to live the life of a gender they weren't born into. With or without surgery.

At any rate, I thought the "blackface" discussion was a thought provoking one.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

From the Archives 

"When you feel that rope getting a little tighter around your neck...make sure it matches the rest of your outfit!"

A "blast" from my past!

Not True!

It turns out, Trans Big Brother star Rebekah Shelton is NOT dead, and was the victim of hacking

Rebekah Shelton implies she was hacked by someone she knew who 'cannot accept the fact I'm happy'

12 January 2018 by Joe Morgan and David Hudson


Trans Big Brother star Rebekah Shelton is not dead, as she confirms in a video she was a victim of hacking.

The fake news was announced on her Twitter yesterday evening.

‘Please stop spreading this news that I am dead because I am obviously not,’ she said in her hotel room.

Thanks to Stana from Femulate also for pointing this out!

Rebekah Shelton

This sad news was just released:

Transgender UK Big Brother star Rebekah Shelton has died at the young age of 32.

Rebekah, who shot to fame on the 2009 series of the reality TV show pre-transition, passed away on Wednesday.

The sad news was announced on her Twitter page in the early hours of Friday morning.

"We’re sorry to inform everyone of the sad news that our wonderful and lovely Rebekah died unexpectedly on Wednesday night," the tweet read.

Rest in Power!

Astrology Fashion Sense

A site I haven't featured in awhile here in Cyrsti's Condo is Deborah Boland's Fabulous AFTER 40.

Of course I was initially attracted to it because I may just be a tad over 40!

This week, several features attracted my attention, including:

Zodiac Styles for Aquarius and Capricorn signs, Chic on the Cheap with tips on building a "Wow" wardrobe on a budget and ways to "Dump the Frump"and jump start your style.

As Stana from Femulate always points out, fashion sense for most doesn't come naturally and whatever you can do to discover and establish a personal style, will help you so much in the world of women.

Plus it's common knowledge we transgender women have to work harder to look presentable. Preferably while not looking like we are trying that hard!

Fabulous AFTER 40, offers a news letter plus more than a few "help books" you can purchase. Which can help you turn that "Oh No!" moment in the mirror into an "Oh Yeah!"

Elvis in Drag?

Not in the classic sense to be sure that I have ever seen or heard of, but Connie indirectly brings it up during an interesting point in a reference to a recent Cyrsti's Condo post:

" FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 10, 2018 at 4:10 PM

I have to admit that I find myself torn, often, between the art portrayed by nude photos and drag performance, and the objectification and parody I see in them. I won't go so far as to compare drag to black face, but I do see the playing into stereotypes and parody that can exist in drag shows. Of course, I'm not impressed by Elvis impersonators, either, and art is a matter of taste. Elvis, by the way, took black R&B music and introduced it to a white audience. I applaud him for that, because the music was better than what the white kids were used to. He didn't wear black face to do it, but he did end up being a parody and caricature of himself. So much of drag, to me, ends up being about the same. I'd rather not see either, really, but I'd definitely not want to see a nude Elvis impersonator!

A Drag Look (NOT Elvis)

Comparing drag to black face is an interesting point which I have seen bantered around a time or two. How it relates at all to cross dressers or transgender women is the topic for another blog post!

Estrogen Overdose

Well, yet another mammogram appointment has come and gone.

Seemingly, the toughest part for me, is threading the needle so to speak, and finding the place. It's in a three story building surrounded by the giant University of Cincinnati Health Center. Today, however the weather was warm (60 degrees F) and just a little wet. I only had to ask a couple of places before I found it.

If you are not familiar, a mammogram itself has just a little discomfort built in, depending upon how good your technician is. Either way though, expect to have your breasts squeezed rather sharply.

I consider the whole process a sort of "rite of passage" in my Mtf transgender transition.

Plus, of course, I have yet to see a man involved in the process in anyway. Just a bunch of mostly dour cis women sitting around. The only person who may have judged my trans status was a young aide who took the time to help me find the building I was supposed to be in. She was very pleasant.

As I left, I naturally hoped the doctors wouldn't find anything amiss in my X-rays, and took a moment to remember the pre -HRT  days before I needed a mammogram at all. Then, as I pulled up my big girl panties and tried to retrace my steps out of there and home, I wondered if I had gained any estrogen from the air today.

Transgender Playboy

From Germany, the editor of Playboy magazine says it will feature a transgender model on its cover for the first time.

Editor-in-chief Florian Boitin said Tuesday that putting Giuliana Farfalla  (left) on the cover - topless, as is customary for such magazines in Germany - was in line with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner's tradition of being "resolutely opposed to all forms of exclusion and intolerance."

Boitin says the 21-year-old Farfalla is a "wonderful example of how important the fight for the right to self-determination is."

And, staying in Europe, Trans  broadcaster India Willoughby has been slammed by Celebrity Big Brother viewers for comparing drag to blackface.

She attacked the art of drag after housemate Shane Jenek, who is better known for performing as Courtney Act, helped a fellow contestant, Apprentice star Andrew Brady, to transform into a drag queen.