Transgender Feminism

Cyrsti's Condo archive post from August 2013:

:Have you ever considered how feminism effects us as transgender women? Does it at all and are we accepted if we try to participate?

On some levels we are met with a resounding NO by the more radical of the feminists who view us as little more than impostors. On other levels YES by those who need whatever political clout we can offer.

Truly over the years I have believed in total equality between the genders. Back in the day when men of my age bracket were being drafted to fight in the non war no one wants to remember, I perceived the process of blatant gender discrimination. Men and women both should have been drafted! All in all though the process turned out to be another dose of my wonderful male privilege!

Of course I read loads of the feminist posts and do believe in equality but I wonder if once again as a trans woman how much really effects me? I just don't read much from genetic feminists mentioning the enormous injustices we are subjected to. Regardless of our birth genders the rift seems too wide to cross. Certainly we deserve the same amount of money as men for the same job...if we can get one at all.

Recently I received an invitation to a dinner/speaker local "Women in Government" meeting. The invite gave me a chance to consider if I wanted to shell out the 25 dollars to hear the speaker and the possible consequences if I went.  Per norm I certainly would have been the "one of a kind" person in the room with a chance to network the transgender culture. All the warm and fuzzies to be sure but would it have been the time to ask the women in government about their views of transgender feminism? Undoubtedly not what the participants would have expected I'm sure.

So, I didn't go and in some senses felt bad about not doing it. I do however have a couple other avenues I'm considering such as an youth LGBT group in town.  They of course are always looking for help.

In today's world, everyone tries to protect and build their own little hill of sand including the genetic feminists. It's another part of the girls sandbox I'm not sure of wanting to play in."

Damn Mailbox

As I have written numerous times here in Cyrsti's Condo, the trip to the mailbox was one of my first ventures into the world as a cross dressed boy. Of course I stressed forever it seemed to be able to make that trip into the world.

All these years later, some days it seems nothing has changed. Even now I think I have to make sure I apply the basics of makeup just to go to the mailbox. The difference these days is I have several very close neighbors (most know I am transgender I am sure by now.)

How odd is it the more things change, the more they stay the same!

Gender Identity Conceptions and Misconceptions

Recently, CBSN weighed in on the difference in genders: This post may be a bit wonky...but if you follow the CBSN link to the video it will be worthwhile. (At the bottom of the page.) Here is a quick intro:

"It’s a common misconception that gender identity and sexual orientation are connected. If someone is transgender, for example, many people automatically assume that they must also be gay. That, however, is not the case. Gender and sexuality are different, and it’s an important distinction to understand.

“People often perceive that they intersect. But many of us are working very hard to unhinge one from the other,” said sj Miller, deputy director at NYU’s Metropolitan Center for Research on Equity and the Transformation of Schools. “They’ve been conflated for so long, and they’re completely different.” 

Play VIDEO

Gender - The Space Between

Could I...Would I?

Around here, it's the time of the year when Girl Scouts jump up everywhere it seems to peddle their ubiquitous cookies. Including my granddaughter.

As I see them do it, I wonder how it must have been to have been able to join the Girl Scouts. Instead of my exceedingly short miserable stay in the Boy Scouts. Of course I will never know, just like not being able to take Home Economics in high school and learning to cook and sew, etc. Way before transgender, and LGBT were even words for the most part.

I believe now, the most important lesson I would have learned is how girls/young women interacted among themselves when boys were not present. Back in those days where I went to school, the genders were pretty much segregated. Girls to Home Ec, boys to Auto Mechanics. So of course I wanted to be in with the girls as a girl, not as a boy cross dressed as one.

Closets being what they were (and are still) I evaded much of the derision and bullying I would have had to put up with. I played sports, followed the college prep studies and went to proms. Or, I played the game enough to get by, get home and steal away some precious time to cross dress alone.

As time has a way of doing, it went so slow back then and seems like a blur now. Time though does not heal all, as I still wonder "what if." What if I had done more to express myself and had the courage to at least try to step out of the closet. I do know then, the life I had would have been seriously impacted under the harsh lights of an ignorant world.

So on and on I went and here I am finally where I wanted to be...almost. Yesterday was a good example of being called a "he" at one stop and treated like a star by a millennial at another.

Overall the "could" came true and the "would" provided me all I could ask for so far!

When Will They Ever Learn?

RALEIGH, North Carolina --

Despite Republican assurances that North Carolina's "bathroom bill" isn't hurting the economy, the law limiting LGBT protections will cost the state more than $3.76 billion in lost business over a dozen years, according to an Associated Press analysis.

Over the past year, North Carolina has suffered financial hits ranging from scuttled plans for a PayPal facility that would have added an estimated $2.66 billion to the state's economy to a canceled Ringo Starr concert that deprived a town's amphitheater of about $33,000 in revenue. The blows have landed in the state's biggest cities as well as towns surrounding its flagship university, and from the mountains to the coast.

North Carolina could lose hundreds of millions more because the NCAA is avoiding the state, usually a favored host. The group is set to announce sites for various championships through 2022, and North Carolina won't be among them as long as the law is on the books. The NAACP also has initiated a national economic boycott.

The AP analysis - compiled through interviews and public records requests - represents the largest reckoning yet of how much the law, passed one year ago, could cost the state. The law excludes gender identity and sexual orientation from statewide antidiscrimination protections, and requires transgender people to use restrooms corresponding to the sex on their birth certificates in many public buildings.

Still, AP's tally is likely an underestimation of the law's true costs.

For more, go here:

Christianity?

A very dear transgender woman friend of mine recently posted this and I thought it was worth repeating, and for once I had nothing to add. She said it all:

"My parents both graduated from Cedarville University. It is a Christian school. They teach a literal interpretation of the Bible. And they follow the Fundamentalist tradition of ignoring the message of Christ while focusing on small snippets of the Bible which they can take out of context and cite while preaching their message of bigotry.

My mother, God bless her ignorant soul, always updates Cedarville U. with my current address so that they can send me their quarterly newsletter. The Spring 2017 issue of Cedarville Magazine has an article about gender. It's a disturbing read.

And here is Greg Couser's sermon on the subject:
https://www.cedarville.edu/Chapel/Archive.aspx…

He says, "Here we turn to Matthew and Christ's teaching on sex and gender in Matthew 19:1-11 for some guidance."

Here is the passage:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/…

This disgusts me. Greg Couser takes a passage about divorce and argues that it supports his anti-trans message simply because Matthew 19:4 says, "He which made them at the beginning made them male and female."

Are you kidding me? It says God "made them male and female."

It doesn't say, "Males are all born with a penis and having a penis is what determines whether or not you're male."

It doesn't say, "All females must accept that if they weren't born with a vagina then they aren't really female."

If you're a Christian, you believe that God created women as women and men as men.

You must also believe that God created all birth defects. God created conjoined twins. God created intersex babies. God created 0.2% of women with the wrong parts. And God created 0.2% of men with the wrong parts.

How dare anyone tell trans people they're not really the person they are because of the body they were born with?

What a sad, hateful human being."

Noth

A Dream Come True

The first transgender couple to appear on Say Yes to the Dress in an episode Cosmo contributor Hannah Smothers called “historic.”

So now during a period of transgender history seemingly fraught with setbacks, yet another first for transgender women everywhere.

After fiancé Jaden proposed, (the gorgeous) Gabrielle Gibson applied to be featured on the TLC show, where brides skim through racks of dresses to find the special gown for their big day. Gibson was accepted onto the show shortly thereafter.

Although Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta featured a transgender bride in January 2016, this will be the first time that the original show features one.

Interestingly enough, Liz asked me if I had ever shared the "wedding dress dream" little (and big) girls have growing up. I said, not so much because I thought it was so far past my reach for several distinct different reasons, including financial.

Having said that, Liz and I are still thinking of being married in a "Handfasting" ceremony and I am thinking about some sort of a "boho" inspired peach colored dress.

Much of it depends on how much of a bitch I have been lately :).

Another Year?

Doesn't seem possible but it is time again to register for another TransOhio Annual Transgender and Ally Symposium. This will be my fourth visit but the second I won't be holding my own workshop. Again this year I felt I would enjoy myself more if I wasn't tied down to a workshop.

My workshops always revolved around "more mature" transgender women and men, so it will be interesting to see if anyone else handles the very important topic.

So far I have purchased tickets for Liz and I plus reserved a hotel room for one of the nights.

If you are interested, the symposium is held in Columbus, Ohio, Friday, Saturday and Sunday the 28th thru the 30th of April. Friday is mainly for "professionals" such as psychologists, psychiatrists, and other practitioners. Saturday and Sunday's are the days for workshops.

Also, Columbus is an incredibly diverse LGBT city.

If you happen to be going, let me know! Would love to meet in person.:)

I Plead the 50th?

Actually Connie does: "IF I were to attend a 50th reunion (two years away for mine), I would choose to go to the one for the school I did not graduate from - the one where I had grown up with so many people. I did a pretty good job of not establishing relationships, other than with my wife, after moving to Seattle. Even though I had gained some notoriety on the football field, I played a position that was not so glamorous. My ending up at the bottom of a pile of humanity at the end of each play did little to endear myself to the humanity of my classmates in the stands - or in the halls the following Monday. Actually, the same was true at my old school; I planned it that way. I was trying to fly under the radar, and football was mostly a decoy. I have to laugh each time I think about it, as the kid who was the quarterback, and the best athlete in the school, I have always suspected to be gay. We were, by no means, close friends, but I could sense that he was keeping a well-guarded secret, just as I was. If there were only one person with whom I might have a reunion, it would be him. Our miseries would make great company.

A center of attraction? I admit to having that desire - at least my musical self does. I started my musical "career" behind a drum set (which is usually set up behind the rest of the band). Playing the drums was yet another decoy. My "hamming it up", though, eventually moved me to center stage. Over the years, I have often imagined myself stepping onto the stage with the band at a reunion. I could express myself there so much better than in any other way, and the edge of the stage is sort of a force field - one for which I have control. Standing above a crowd of vaguely familiar and aging faces - the men fat and bald, and they women wrinkled and gray - singing from my heart and soul, seems quite a satisfactory prospect.

None of this will happen. Why should I care that people see who the awkward, enigmatic, and somewhat withdrawn boy turned out to really be? Who I am now is of little note to anyone but myself, and any accolades for my "courage" to be myself now are unwanted. My courage was demonstrated by what I did to hide myself those many years ago, but I certainly don't need to reminisce on that. Besides, nobody hires bands for reunions anymore; just DJs. People are more interested in those things recorded long ago than what is live - and alive - in the present."

Thanks Connie (again)!