"Mo Nouns"

More on the pronoun post which made a nice turn into privilege. From Connie:

"I don't think it's wrong to bitch about pronouns, as long as we don't forget those who are in less-fortunate situations. In other words, we need to advance our cause from where we stand, so as to set a standard for others. I've always thought that the best thing I can do is to lead by example. It is not only my responsibility, it is something I am afforded the privilege to do. 

My privilege may come from living in a liberal environment, but it's still taken time - and a lot of effort from trans people before me - for a more-accepting attitude to develop. I don't know that there are fewer haters here, nor do I think our efforts should be directed at converting them. However, by continuing to show the majority that we can fit within its norm, we diminish the haters' (misguided) perceptions of having permission to attack trans people. The haters will always be among us, no matter where we live. Our demands for respect serve to send them back to their own closets - even if our demands are simply to be referred to with the correct pronouns.

In the meantime, yes, we must be aware of our surroundings, just as any woman should. Any privilege we've been afforded to be out among the masses should not slip into complacency. Perhaps, a stupid little pronoun every now and then is a good thing, then. It reminds me to be vigilant, and to pray for those who are much less fortunate. Demanding that the pronoun be corrected, though, may well be a part of the answer to my prayer. "

Thanks!

What's in a Name?( Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post)

You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, just don't call me he, sir or buddy and by the way my male name was not Chris!

Over the past couple of years the name game became "uber" important to me as I reworked my life and gender. Following a couple false starts with Cyrsti's Condo (Transnation), I finally said to hell with it and called this production a condo.  If you must know, the condo is actually a big 1860's vintage brick ex commercial building which has housed saloons, general stores and boarding houses over the years. Somehow I didn't think all of that would make for a catchy name!

I also faced the bigger decision on renaming myself to reflect my transitioning status from cross dresser to transgender woman. I was positive my long blond wigs and the name Roxie had to go.   Looking back on my decision, the only mistake I made was I really didn't give Cyrsti enough thought. Essentially,  I was looking for a middle of the road feminine name so I adopted Kristy and changed the spelling but "Jessie" would have been a better personal choice because it was a family name and I loved the sound of it.

The whole name game is one of the most interesting and important facets of our transitions.  In reality it matters not if you feminize your male name, borrow an old girlfriends, or adopt a family name. My only warning is to be careful, you may be surprised how quickly your new name can become entrenched in the world! Quickly, There became no way possible I could ever switch to Jessie!

Never say never, because I did it anyhow!

Eye Candy

 Thai contestant Jiratchaya Sirimongkolnawin was crowned Miss International Queen 2016 on Friday at a contest billed as the world's largest and most popular transgender pageant.

The 25-year-old beat 24 other contestants for the crown, with the second and third place going to contestants from Brazil and Venezuela, respectively.

The pageant, which brings together transgender people from around the world, was launched over a decade ago to help transgender women feel more accepted by society, 

For more, go here.

Are We Really Disposable?

This year so far at least seven transgender women have been reported killed. The fact remains in some areas of this country and the world, trans women seem to be deemed disposable.

In a recent post, I mentioned how small a deal being miss-pronouned is compared to being killed as echoed in this comment from Paula:

"The last couple of days I too have been thinking about how easy I have it compared to some others, I am self employed, live in the civilized capital of a civilized country, and can still claim my White, Middle Class, Middle Age privilege. Young trans people of all colors in many countries put their lives at risk on a daily basis, and I bitch if someone gets a pronoun wrong!"

The problem we are seeing in this country of course is a rise in hate crimes as seen in the antisemitism attacks everywhere. And, as Paula alluded to, not everyone is fortunate enough to live in areas which are more liberal and civilized. So many under educated and under employed transgender individuals are pretty much stuck, waiting for change which may never come for them. Especially trans people of color.

I wish I had an answer to the carnage except it is yet another reminder of how we all have to learn the lessons of cis women everywhere, be very careful where you go and beware of your surroundings. 

All Quiet on the Midwestern Front?

When we last visited, I was chatting about taking my car into the repair shop. Well about 400 dollars later, a couple bearings have been replaced and the "Rolls" is back on the road. I shouldn't complain, have of the work was under warranty so it could have been a lot worse.

Interestingly, one of the younger guys I deal with there was on duty and took care of checking me out. (Taking my money.) He is pretty cool and just said "Hi Cyrsti" and took care of everything. From there we stopped at a grocery store and came on home. Such is life?

Every once in a while I do flash back in my mind to the days when I was considering going 24/7. Was I indeed more than a cross dresser and was there anything wrong with that? (No!) Even still, the thought of never wearing male clothes again was at the same time scary and exhilarating. For me, the choice wasn't completely clear until I took a leap off a cliff and tried it.

After I did of course and settled into a feminine lifestyle, I knew I had made the right choice but I had it easy. I took and early retirement and didn't haven't to worry about Mtf transitioning on the job. For the most part too, I had a tight knit set of friends and family who accepted me as a transgender woman. So I didn't have to totally restart my life again.

So, when I bitch and moan about the small things like being mis-gendered here and there, I have to step back and remember how good I really have it.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood-Almost

Yesterday I had to take my Rolls Royce into one of my least fave places to visit, the auto repair shop.

The visit started well enough when the guy called me "mam' and I immediately felt more at ease. But as usually happens, in the middle of the conversation, he became gender confused with me. This time I even tried to stay ahead of the curve and project a feminine aura.(To make sure I wasn't projecting any male vibes subconsciously) Which didn't seem to work either. I guess sooner or later I will have to get used to the fact that when I get up close and too personal with most of the public, I will be read as transgender.

It could be and has been worse though. At least no one has been outwardly cruel to me.

Plus every time it happens, I take the time to "go back to the drawing board" and examine what I can do to make my presentation a little bit better!

International Women's Day

Ironically, most of the cis women I know can't afford to take the day off, for whatever reason. Many of course simply can't afford it.

Certainly we all know women who have done super human jobs raising families as single Moms. Plus most have had to put up with several men in their lives who are certain to complicate matters.

My complete respect goes out to all cis women everywhere and transgender women too.

Although many would try to exclude us from the socializing process which makes a female a woman, of course I don't.

Why? Because our femininity ascent was certainly not a walk in the park and often just the opposite. When cis-women were raising families, many of us were excluded from ours through no fault of our own.

So, all you transgender women, enjoy your day too-if you can!

Transgender Candidate Running for Governor

From Connecticut:  Jacey Wyatt from Branford, who grew up as John Christian Pascarella before undergoing gender reassignment surgery in 2003, is running for governor as a Democrat.

The post was a bit confusing to me as Wyatt said she was born with “both sexes,” but has always identified as a woman.

“I grew up with Barbies,” Wyatt said. “I didn’t go to the bathroom at the school. I went home.”

Wyatt said she was fortunate to have the money and support to undergo gender reassignment surgery at the University of Connecticut, including breast augmentation and hormone therapy.

“I’m a legal female,” Wyatt said. “I will never, ever, ever have a situation that I can’t go to the bathroom in North Carolina. (But) there’s somebody that maybe can’t afford what I had done.

 Go here for more.

Are There Coincidences?

Yes! Here is one from Connie:

"What a coincidence! Today is the birthday of a (lost?) friend of mine. We met many years ago at a local transgender social group meeting - the very first night I found the nerve to venture out. We had much in common, and our mothers were each struggling with their terminal cancers. We helped each other deal through some heavy times. 

Then, one day, I separated myself from any notion of a cross dresser's lifestyle, never to pretend to be a man again. I can only guess that our friendship drifted apart because, although I was accepted, I was not "fun" anymore. I never judged her/him (I knew both) for being "just" a cross dresser, but I imagine I was perceived to have. It pissed me off one day when I was told that I could have been hired to do a job, had I been willing to butch-up for it. Transphobia exists under the transgender umbrella! Still, I am a forgiving woman, and I will send a short birthday wish. I don't expect to receive a thank you, but I'll be damned if I will be the one who is afraid to reach out."

Thanks Connie!