Christmas certainly wasn't a drag for these guys...wait maybe it was? Maybe the top left "girl?"Monday, May 12, 2014
Holiday's are not a Drag!
Christmas certainly wasn't a drag for these guys...wait maybe it was? Maybe the top left "girl?"
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Chuck Does an About Face?
Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel told ABC News’ Martha Raddatz that he believes the ban that prohibits transgender individuals from serving in the U.S. military should be reviewed.
“I do think it continually should be reviewed,” Hagel said. “I’m open to that.”
After the 2010 repeal of the policy barring gay and lesbian service members from being open about their sexuality, known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” activists turned their attention to the transgender policy, calling on the military to allow transgender individuals to serve openly. But there has been no review of the ban. Earlier this month, a Pentagon spokesperson told Slate, “At this time there are no plans to change the department’s policy.”
But in an exclusive interview that aired on “This Week with George Stephanopoulos,” Hagel said he’s now ready to reconsider the ban.
“I’m open to those assessments, because — again, I go back to the bottom line — every qualified American who wants to serve our country should have an opportunity if they fit the qualifications and can do it,” he said. Transgender issues are “an area that we’ve not defined enough.”
Hagel said his biggest concern is providing the medical support necessary to support transgender individuals, especially if they are stationed in what he called “austere locations.
Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train for transgender service members.
Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"
Here we go kids, another Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition-Kerplunk!!.
Page 1.- Sports! In case you haven't heard, the St. Louis Rams made history Saturday with the 249th pick when they selected Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam and made him the first openly gay player in the NFL. It’s a monumental moment in American history and it’s a moment that won’t soon be forgotten by anyone.
I have several other football fan friends who texted me yesterday and said they had made the St. Louis Rams one of their favorite teams.
Rams head coach Jeff Fisher said it best:
ESPN and said, "In a world of diversity that we live in, I'm honored to be a part of this."
Page 2.- Mother's Day. It's time again to take a special moment to pause and remember our Moms. I know some of us have positive - or not so positive memories of our Mother's. Either way, they did take the time to bring us into the world, put up with us (sometimes) and left lasting memories for those of us whose Mom's have passed on. I have always thought we transgender or cross dresser women and men had a different relationship with our mothers than our cis-gender relations. I never had a sister and my Mom has been gone for years and we had a rocky relationship on several levels because we were so much alike-more than she ever wanted to know when I never "outgrew" my transgender issues. I have mentioned numerous times how I can vividly remember being fascinated with watching her "put on her face" (makeup)
Page 3.- Entertainment. Austria's popular bearded lady, Conchita Wurst, won the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday night.
Ms. Wurst's onstage drag persona is 25-year-old singer named Thomas Neuwirth. Sporting a skintight glittery dress, long brown hair and a beard, Ms. Wurst won the contest with a song titled "Rise Like A Phoenix.".A polarizing figure, Ms. Wurst attracted a flood of respect for her views on gender and sexuality, but she also became the target of criticism, including from a prominent Russian politician known for holding antigay views.
Following the win, Ms. Wurst said "this night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom...we are unity and we are unstoppable."
Ms. Wurst wasn't the only subject of controversy at the 59th Eurovision contest. At many points in the evening, particularly during the voting session that follows official performances, Russia received a chorus of boos, forcing organizers to remind the audience that the event is about love and respect, not politics.
Page 4. The Back Page. A big end to the week with the news of Conchita Wurst and Michael Sam proving once again the TGLBQ community is just not fading away. The world damn well accept us! You all have a great week AND! Thanks for being a part of "the Condo"!
Page 1.- Sports! In case you haven't heard, the St. Louis Rams made history Saturday with the 249th pick when they selected Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam and made him the first openly gay player in the NFL. It’s a monumental moment in American history and it’s a moment that won’t soon be forgotten by anyone. I have several other football fan friends who texted me yesterday and said they had made the St. Louis Rams one of their favorite teams.
Rams head coach Jeff Fisher said it best:
ESPN and said, "In a world of diversity that we live in, I'm honored to be a part of this."
Page 2.- Mother's Day. It's time again to take a special moment to pause and remember our Moms. I know some of us have positive - or not so positive memories of our Mother's. Either way, they did take the time to bring us into the world, put up with us (sometimes) and left lasting memories for those of us whose Mom's have passed on. I have always thought we transgender or cross dresser women and men had a different relationship with our mothers than our cis-gender relations. I never had a sister and my Mom has been gone for years and we had a rocky relationship on several levels because we were so much alike-more than she ever wanted to know when I never "outgrew" my transgender issues. I have mentioned numerous times how I can vividly remember being fascinated with watching her "put on her face" (makeup)
Page 3.- Entertainment. Austria's popular bearded lady, Conchita Wurst, won the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday night.
Ms. Wurst's onstage drag persona is 25-year-old singer named Thomas Neuwirth. Sporting a skintight glittery dress, long brown hair and a beard, Ms. Wurst won the contest with a song titled "Rise Like A Phoenix.".A polarizing figure, Ms. Wurst attracted a flood of respect for her views on gender and sexuality, but she also became the target of criticism, including from a prominent Russian politician known for holding antigay views.
Following the win, Ms. Wurst said "this night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom...we are unity and we are unstoppable."
Ms. Wurst wasn't the only subject of controversy at the 59th Eurovision contest. At many points in the evening, particularly during the voting session that follows official performances, Russia received a chorus of boos, forcing organizers to remind the audience that the event is about love and respect, not politics. Page 4. The Back Page. A big end to the week with the news of Conchita Wurst and Michael Sam proving once again the TGLBQ community is just not fading away. The world damn well accept us! You all have a great week AND! Thanks for being a part of "the Condo"!
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Flipping the Transgender Switch
Not too long ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote a post about taking different paths to where we identify today as transgender, transsexual or cross dressers.
As I said in the last past, I'm far from smart enough to figure out where we end up on the spectrum. Is it all an internal process which we were born with, or more of a reaction to external stimulus or a mixture of both?
Most certainly, if you are satisfied with occasionally cross dressing as your non birth gender, you probably were influenced by external factors sometime earlier in life. But what about the rest of us?
Here is a comment Connie sent in:
Oh, if it were only as easy as flipping a switch! I've found it to be more like shifting gears - as with a 10-speed bicycle. My first little hints of my transsexual self were much like learning how to ride a bike; playing dress-up in my mom's old clothes that I found in a box in the garage, and trying to apply her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. Funny enough, it was close to this time that my dad had bought an old bike from Goodwill (the assigned destination for the clothes I had been wearing from that box in the garage). It was a 24" bike, and much too large for a five-year-old. Nevertheless, I did learn how to ride it - even though my legs were too short to be able to push the brakes back properly. I couldn't stop the bike, and I couldn't stop my "desire" to be a girl, either.
The irony does not escape me that, without training wheels, I accomplished my breakthrough moment of riding on my own just as I kept my gender "secret" to myself. Dad did give me instruction for riding a bike, but not for a bike that was too big for me, just as he tried to raise me to be a man (a little one, anyway). I took it all in, dutifully, but I came up with the necessary modifications by myself. In retrospect, I'm sure that my parents had become aware that I was not completely displaying the more-masculine traits of a little boy, even though I was trying so hard to conform to their expectations. My ability to stop my gender identity was as difficult to do as it was to apply the brake on that bicycle. So, I was stuck in first gear (the bike only had one) with my only way of stopping being to either crash or fall off. By the time I had the opportunity to ride a 10-speed bicycle, I was no longer crashing, and my ability to keep from falling off the bike matched my ability to walk effortlessly in Mom's high heels.
The bike belonged to the older girl next-door (a girl's bike!). I learned much from her about shifting gears - both on the bicycle and with my gender identity. Stopping was no longer the big issue, but learning to use the proper gears in order to climb the hills was something else. The hills I have been negotiating since then have been mostly of my own making; marriage, children, establishing my male persona within the community.
I worked hard to be an "A-lister" in those categories for years before realizing that I was in the wrong gear. At the same time, though, I was stuck in first gear with my gender identity. It could have been easy enough to maintain my "A-list" standing as I (falsely) presented my male self, while still being accepted by the "A-list" cross dressers; or so it may seem to others. I cannot see myself as belonging on either of those lists, however. To climb the hill, then, I must continue to up-shift, being careful to know the right gear to use, as well as the proper timing in shifting to that gear.
Thanks for the great comment Connie! From my own humble perch on the bike, I never saw the possibility of ever escaping my gender turmoil, did very self destructive things to myself and finally made it to where I am today. I just couldn't get by putting on women's clothes and thinking I was a complete person.
The next companion post to this one will be "Gender Survivor". If you have a comment, I would love to read it! Send it here, or to my email - cyrstih@yahoo.com
As I said in the last past, I'm far from smart enough to figure out where we end up on the spectrum. Is it all an internal process which we were born with, or more of a reaction to external stimulus or a mixture of both?
Most certainly, if you are satisfied with occasionally cross dressing as your non birth gender, you probably were influenced by external factors sometime earlier in life. But what about the rest of us?
Here is a comment Connie sent in:
Oh, if it were only as easy as flipping a switch! I've found it to be more like shifting gears - as with a 10-speed bicycle. My first little hints of my transsexual self were much like learning how to ride a bike; playing dress-up in my mom's old clothes that I found in a box in the garage, and trying to apply her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. Funny enough, it was close to this time that my dad had bought an old bike from Goodwill (the assigned destination for the clothes I had been wearing from that box in the garage). It was a 24" bike, and much too large for a five-year-old. Nevertheless, I did learn how to ride it - even though my legs were too short to be able to push the brakes back properly. I couldn't stop the bike, and I couldn't stop my "desire" to be a girl, either.
The irony does not escape me that, without training wheels, I accomplished my breakthrough moment of riding on my own just as I kept my gender "secret" to myself. Dad did give me instruction for riding a bike, but not for a bike that was too big for me, just as he tried to raise me to be a man (a little one, anyway). I took it all in, dutifully, but I came up with the necessary modifications by myself. In retrospect, I'm sure that my parents had become aware that I was not completely displaying the more-masculine traits of a little boy, even though I was trying so hard to conform to their expectations. My ability to stop my gender identity was as difficult to do as it was to apply the brake on that bicycle. So, I was stuck in first gear (the bike only had one) with my only way of stopping being to either crash or fall off. By the time I had the opportunity to ride a 10-speed bicycle, I was no longer crashing, and my ability to keep from falling off the bike matched my ability to walk effortlessly in Mom's high heels.
The bike belonged to the older girl next-door (a girl's bike!). I learned much from her about shifting gears - both on the bicycle and with my gender identity. Stopping was no longer the big issue, but learning to use the proper gears in order to climb the hills was something else. The hills I have been negotiating since then have been mostly of my own making; marriage, children, establishing my male persona within the community.
I worked hard to be an "A-lister" in those categories for years before realizing that I was in the wrong gear. At the same time, though, I was stuck in first gear with my gender identity. It could have been easy enough to maintain my "A-list" standing as I (falsely) presented my male self, while still being accepted by the "A-list" cross dressers; or so it may seem to others. I cannot see myself as belonging on either of those lists, however. To climb the hill, then, I must continue to up-shift, being careful to know the right gear to use, as well as the proper timing in shifting to that gear.
Thanks for the great comment Connie! From my own humble perch on the bike, I never saw the possibility of ever escaping my gender turmoil, did very self destructive things to myself and finally made it to where I am today. I just couldn't get by putting on women's clothes and thinking I was a complete person.
The next companion post to this one will be "Gender Survivor". If you have a comment, I would love to read it! Send it here, or to my email - cyrstih
Friday, May 9, 2014
Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"
Dammit Honey! I still can get ready faster than you! You are wasting valuable shopping time!!!Finding a Transgender Friendly Place
From June 29th 2013, another Cyrsti's Condo archived post as I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger. This is a timeless post which is still as relevant today as then.
Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with complex answers I can't even follow. Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there." I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!" Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules: One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.
The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place. They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that! Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant. You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime. Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points: 1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start. 2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation. You will indeed make a good impression. 3.-Go Back. Maybe not common sense but a good point. If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations. 4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way.
When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.
Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with complex answers I can't even follow. Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there." I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!" Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules: One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.
The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place. They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that! Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant. You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime. Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points: 1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start. 2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation. You will indeed make a good impression. 3.-Go Back. Maybe not common sense but a good point. If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations. 4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way.
When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Blasting Cyrsti's Past
Along with everything else which is happening around here in Cyrsti's Condo, we are also coming up on another year anniversary with this monumental effort!
Here's a repost from July 25th, 2013-
Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter. Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special. On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall. I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process. So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo. I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration: "Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot!
My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio. As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department. On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago. I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati.
Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful! And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!
Here's a repost from July 25th, 2013-
Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter. Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special. On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall. I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process. So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo. I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration: "Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot!
My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio. As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department. On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago. I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati.
Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful! And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!
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Staring Down the Transgender Cliff
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