Terf's

Do you know what a "Terf" is, or what it means?

To put it simply, a Terf is a cis woman who dislikes transgender women  First of all, here's how the name came to be. It is the abbreviation for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism. Essentially the idea it is impossible for a person assigned a specific gender at birth to transition and occupy the space of another gender. They take it as far as seeing it  as an invasion all over again from the patriarchy and essentially raping women again. 

In their neat conceptual world, men are the predators and women are the prey. To introduce any form of a transgender woman is an attack on feminism everywhere in addition to trans males being a threat to butch lesbians.

I would have to ask Paula for sure but I think Terf's are more publicized in Great Britain where Paula is from. However, a few years ago I was confronted by gender rejection at a lesbian Valentine's Dance Liz and I went to here in Cincinnati. You could definitely refer to the person who literally sought me out to harass me as a Terf. 

I was minding my own business waiting for Liz to rejoin me with a few appetizers when this lesbian approached and started to ask me about what my "real" name was. Unfortunately, I hadn't had my name legally changed yet to produce my driver's license.  By the time Liz returned, the bitch had disappeared again into the crowd. 

Being the glutton for punishment I was back in those days, I even tried to join Liz's lesbian meet up group which put on the dance. Naturally I was rejected for being transgender and not a "real" woman. Shortly after that, Liz left the group, 

Since essentially, my feminine upbringing was helped along by cis women lesbians, I know all lesbians aren't Terf's. Plus, naively I have always felt the more the better when it comes to any form of human movements. In other words, I don't understand why cis women Terf's wouldn't want transgender women involved in their search for equality in gender rights. After all, we have seen the gender world  from both sides and made our choice to leave our male privileges behind. 

In the meantime, I will forever remember the time I was gender slurred and attacked by a Terf. 

Back in my "Howling" Days

 I still love Paula's comment about how many of us novice transgender women go through an early phase when we could be referred to as "Howlers." Referring of course to fashion mistakes which usually are related to trying to dress as a teen aged girl when we are much older. Connie then added "Growlers" (seen below) to the post in a comment.

Back in the day, I was guilty of abusing both. I cringe now when I think back of a few of the ridiculous outfits I managed to put together and then go out in public. Then, to add insult to injury, I would try to find "liquid courage" by drinking mega amounts of beer along with the occasional shot. 

Both of which I was recently reminded of when an old acquaintance of mine's birthday showed up on Facebook. What happened was one of the venues I was going to I thought was safely out of my home town enough to hide my gender secret. In fact, it was a big sports bar and one of the first places I went to and began to establish my own feminine persona.   

I increasingly felt secure in going there until one day when I walked in, sat down and was immediately surprised by the person I knew so well. It turns out she was training to be a bartender there. For awhile she played it cool and never said anything so I wondered if she even knew, until one day she said "Don't I know you?" Of course by then, it was too late to try to lie my way out of it and I said yes. 

Over the duration of time she worked there, I don't believe she told any of the people who happened to overlap our circle of friends about our "secret." From there, life went on and she graduated college, got married and moved away. 

My only regret is she had to witness the "Howler and Growler" period of my life as I started to explore living as a transgender woman. 

She lives many miles away now and it's doubtful I will ever see her again anyhow but it's just another part of my past which haunts me.

Another Month

 All of a sudden it seems, the first month of 2021 has come and gone. I'm not happy to report, the month of January has been more of the same. 

In fact, the only time I have been out of the house was to take one of our very sick cats to the veterinarian for help that never came. He had to to be put down sadly, as he was declining quickly. So you can tell, the trip was far from a social one.  To make matters worse, we even backed out on going on a paranormal ghost hunting trip in a nearby town in Kentucky in an old opera house. We weren't worried about the catching the "Covid" from the ghosts but didn't really trust the so called safety measures by the organizer.

I know I am fortunate in that I really don't need much feedback to reinforce my authentic gender. Even so, public feedback helps my gender dysphoria, especially if it is positive (of course.)  

The light at the end of the tunnel is the vaccine. Which for me should be available in the coming weeks. The way I am looking at getting stabbed is, in order for me to get both shots, it will at least take another two months.

To put it all in perspective, when March rolls around, Liz and I have only been out to socialize at all three times in the year gone by.

The way I look at it too, I will not take it for granted when I get to go out in the public again. 

Fiona Feng

 Meet Fiona Feng who currently lives in Ireland and is a self described "woman of transgender experience". She is one of the writers I follow on Medium. 

Lady and the Dale

 From NPR:

"The Lady and the Dale, a new HBO documentary miniseries co-directed by Nick Cammilleri and Zackary Drucker, has been promoted by the network with most of its secrets held in check. Tune in to this nonfiction biography series, the promos suggest, and learn the tale of a female automobile executive who took on the Detroit automakers and tried to market a gas-efficient car in the 1970s, at the height of the oil crisis."

"The Lady and the Dale has the flavor and momentum of Catch Me if You Can, that Steven Spielberg movie with Tom Hanks on the trail of a teenage con man played by Leonardo DiCaprio. But before the first episode is over, Jerry comes out as a trans woman and changes her name to Elizabeth Carmichael. The kids are raised to call Liz mom and the series goes on from there, with Liz starting the 20th Century Motor Company and introducing the Dale.

Eventually, Liz is arrested for fraud, and goes on trial to defend the lack of production of the Dale. But in the '70s, with transgender issues so relatively unfamiliar and widely misunderstood, she goes on trial in other ways, too — especially in the media."

For more, go here.