Transgender Activist in Starring Role

 Trans activist Shakina Nayfact is making history again as she lands a starring role in the new NBC comedy The show which is called "Connecting" will be on Thursday nights. Nayfact (below) is making history as the first transgender regular on a prime time television show. Here is a brief description from the "Advocate" : 

"On the topic of her history-making role, Nayfack placed it in the larger context of the transgender movement. "It feels like a huge honor and a huge responsibility to get right," she said. "And also, I think it is a benchmark in a process of social change that so many other trans artists have forged alongside me and ahead of me. I like to stay away from the narratives of like, you know, 'first achievement' and think more about the legacy that we are building together as a community of trans actors fighting for representation for the rest of us out in the world."

However, in a time when few Hollywood productions are being made due to the pandemic, and in an election season to boot, Nayfack acknowledged how special it was to have a trans character represented.

"I look at Connecting as one of the first shows to be made amid the crisis of COVID-19. And one of the seven series regulars on that show is a trans woman," she said. "So that's really exciting to me because we're already guaranteed admission. We're here. We're inside the theme park. So let's go on some rides."

Perhaps some day we will come to the point where we don't have to point out an actor or actress is transgender at all!

Saying Hello

 Have you ever encountered another person in public whom you considered to be transgender or a cross dresser? Have you tried to strike up a conversation or just walked the other way. Perhaps later you regretted your decision. In the pre-covid days of my life, it wasn't totally uncommon for me to see a person who triggered my "trans-dar."

Overall. except for one occasion when I encountered another transgender person I knew well, I can say I never spoke up and tried to start a conversation. Why? Mainly because I was afraid of embarrassing myself if the person wasn't trans. The only other alternative I had was focusing in on and commenting on a particular aspect of a person's presentation.(such as a handbag or earrings) Of course if I was at the market and I encountered the rare overdressed woman, I automatically thought she was a cross dresser. More interesting was the night Liz and I went to a New Years Eve performance of the Cincinnati Orchestra in music hall where all the women were dressed to the nines. Including me. The occasion was early in my coming out days and I was scared to death. 

Along the way, I recently received another comment from "Emma" concerning her thoughts  on encountering another transgender person:

" I've often walked away from an encounter with another trans person asking myself why we didn't simply talk about something else - just as we would have with a cis person." Yes! It's just over three years since I started my transition. The first couple of years were so focused on being trans, dealing with my shame and fears, yes, a couple of surgeries. Lots of internal transphobia. But these days I hardly think about it. I think it comes down to self-acceptance and love, recognizing that we are as normal as anyone else. Sure, some of our characteristics are a bit rare, but so is being left handed, blue-eyed, or whatever. Je suis comme je suis: I am what I am. After over a half century on this planet I am excited about my life."

Thanks for the comment Emma! Nice to hear of your excitement. :) 

Transgender Gold...Bond

From "Cheddar" and  Mike Nam

"Actress Laverne Cox, perhaps best known for her role on the Netflix hit Orange Is the New Black, has partnered with skincare brand Gold Bond on the new marketing campaign #ChampionYourSkin and is using the platform to highlight the transgender community and the non-profit Trans Wellness Center in California.

"Trans folks, just by being ourselves, are skin champions," said Cox.(above) "We go out into the world and face all kinds of discrimination, all kinds of violence, and, sort of, attempts to invalidate who we are."

Cox touted the work of the Trans Wellness Center amid such damaging obstacles. The Los Angeles-based center, established in a collaboration between six local organizations, provides help with housing, employment, and health care for transgender people.

"Our unemployment rate is three times the national average, four times that for trans people of color, and so employment referrals are things that you can get at the Trans Wellness Center, which is so important," she said.

Cox also made the case that people who wish to help the transgender community should donate to organizations like the Trans Wellness Center. She explained that, while national groups do important work, funding local organizations that directly affect people's lives is critical."

For more, go here.

From Both Sides Now

 Before the get started, let me send along my thanks to all of you on several different blogging platforms who sent along birthday wishes. All were very much appreciated!

Now, perhaps you all remember the recent Cyrsti's Condo post concerning Jayde and her very understanding spouse. During my long life, I have had the opportunity to be on both sides of the spousal fence. 

Some of you may remember I met my first wife (and the mother of my only child) in the Army. She found out about my cross dressing desires after a Halloween party. Over an approximate five year relationship it became increasingly evident she didn't really care about my gender leanings. I often thought if I told her I was leaving for a couple weeks to change my sex, she would have said oh well. 

All of this led me to the relationship I started with the cis woman who was to be my wife for twenty five years. Looking back at it, the beginnings of our life together represented the last gasp at my attempts to put my feminine self behind me. Even though I told her I was a cross dresser to start with, I had to aggressively pursue her to embark on a relationship. Essentially I was to win the battle, only to lose the war within myself and with her. 

As the years went by, she never really fought my cross dressing urges but was totally against any suggestion I was transgender. Unfortunately, the longer I fought my transgender urges, the worse our battles became. I am not proud of the times I snuck out when she was at work, only to have her come home and discover my transgression. Essentially to me, I was violating our marriage vows. Plus, she always seemed to hold the upper hand when she told me things like "Be man enough to be a woman."

Ironically, after years of fighting, making up and trying my best to live male, she suddenly passed away from a severe heart attack at the age of fifty. I loved her dearly and it was quite the shock but eventually freed me up to see if I could live full time as a transgender woman. Still I needed help to push through my doubts.

At that point, approximately nine years ago, Liz entered my life. In a complete turnaround, she told me I was a woman and I should go ahead with hormone replacement therapy to feel better. We are still together and I am living happily full time in a feminine world. Finally, the huge weight of being bi-gendered has been lifted from my shoulders. 

I have seen the relationship world from both sides.

Life is but a Circle

 On my 71st birthday, it's time to take a second (or two) to reflect on what has turned out to be a very interesting life. Along with the curse of early struggles with my gender identity, came the discovery of the euphoria from my weak attempts to cross dress and conquer the gender divide. 

Later in life came the times when I was suicidal as I was trying to lead a "bi-gendered" existence. 

Finally, my life came full circle, I accepted being transgender and lived through a very bleak period of my life when I nearly lost everything. I eventually found by doing that, I could start to build my new life as a transgender woman-full time.

I should probably point  out I am a very impatient person and the time it took me to transition was difficult even though it was aided by HRT or hormone replacement therapy. Even then I learned the hard way taking meds in the end result didn't make me any more or less a woman. The desire was completely between my ears.

One way or another life teaches you lessons if you have the ability and/or the where with all to take advantage. Or if you are fortunate to live that long. 

I would be remiss too if I didn't mention the people in my life who loved me and I loved. My partner Liz and daughter Andrea continue the love today. 

Advice is like rear ends, everybody has one. Mine would be don't give up on life. What's true today may be false tomorrow. Life can turn on a dime.