We Don't Transition Alone

 Those of us who have a spouse who has been along for the transgender journey, very quickly we should learn the spouse occupies a very important position in our transition. 

I have always believed a spouses reaction to her partner's new life is a crucial factor in if the relationship is going to survive. After all, the cis woman is stuck in the middle of what turns out to be often a very selfish endeavor. She gets to watch in person the gender transition of her spouse, for better or for worse. Just think of all the cis women who have been pressured to help in the cross dressing urges with clothes and make up. 

I write pressure because of the urgency to present as a realistic women as possible. Obviously it takes a special person to accompany her spouse down a feminine path and I have an example.

Her name is Veronica and her spouse is actually a nearby acquaintance of mine. Her name is Jade, and here is one of the most awesome messages I have ever read:

 "So when I first came out as trans to my wife, she was so supportive and amazing. The thing I remember most about that conversation was when she looked at me and said, "You know I'm not gay, but I'll be gay for you." I love you to the moon and back!"

Isn't that great? Wow! This is Jayde:

I personally have been on both sides of the spousal situation, from very bad to very good. Which I will explore in an upcoming post.

In the meantime, thanks to Veronica and Jayde for sharing in this extraordinary post!!!

A Transgender First in Belgium

Transgender woman Petra De Sutter has been announced as Belgium's deputy prime minister.

De Sutter is a gynecologist and fertility expert at the University of Ghent, and was elected to the European Parliament last year where she was chair of the Committee on the Internal Market and Consumer Protection.

She’s known for her activism around sexual and reproductive health and on trans issues.

Belgian Green party leader Meyrem Almaci announced De Sutter’s appointment today, as the new government was formed following several days of intense talks.

Congratulations!

Your Inner Child

 Perhaps, one of the most difficult ordeals we go through as transgender women or trans men is taking care of our inner child. I have, like most of you, vivid memories of my earliest experiments with women's clothing when I explored my Mom's wardrobe. Back in those days, I was somehow able to shave my legs and remember the thrill of sliding nylons up my legs. It was all so thrilling but just didn't last.

My inner child was telling me there just had to be more to all of this. In fact, if I had been listening, or had the knowledge, my inner self was trying to tell me I was transgender. Back then, the phrase was years away from even being used. I am referring to the early 1960's. 

Not understanding everything which was going on, of course I reverted back to the male dominated culture I lived in and kept suppressing my inner child. Many times with dire circumstances. I wish I could retrieve and recycle all the time I wasted. I remember all the time I spent daydreaming in study halls about all of the sudden becoming one of the girls I so admired. I erroneously thought the girls possessed all the cards. They didn't have to worry about asking someone out, being a successful athlete or being drafted into the military. I took me years to realize the girls had their own set of problems to worry about.

None of this though,  could sooth any of the tensions my inner girl child was causing. The only thing which did work were the brief times I was by myself and could cross dress and parade in front of the mirror. 

Unfortunately, there was no way to suppress her as I grew older. The more I explored the feminine world and the more accomplished I became doing it, the more I realized I could fulfill my dreams and release my inner girl child.

It turned out to be the best move I ever made.

Stuck in the Middle

 Perhaps you remember the "Stealers Wheel" tune...Stuck in the Middle with You."  It seems this could be an appropriate musical anthem to describe a transgender existence. 

Let's take me for instance. This morning when I woke up, I took the time to look in the mirror and promptly said "Boo." It then occurred to me how different my life has been as I tried for years (and failed) to walk the gender divide. As it turned out, all I was doing was misleading myself. I would have been better off to have followed my transgender leanings years or even decades before. I refused to follow what was natural gender wise for me causing great stress and many problems in my life. 

Now though, through the miracle of hormone replacement therapy and the support of people such as my partner Liz along with my daughter Andrea, I have achieved more in my life than I ever thought possible. For every morning when I say "Boo", there are so many other mornings I am amazed by my breasts, the length of my hair and the softness of my skin. 

Even with all of the wonderful changes, it seems I am still stuck in the middle with myself. Perhaps thoughts such as these are what drive transgender women to "go all the way" and undergo genital realignment surgery. Which I have always rejected as an option for myself. I just can't see such a major costly surgery being worth it at my age along with the committed relationship of nine years I am in. 

So I will most likely end my life as I started it. Stuck in the middle with me. 

Comment

 I received this message from Susan concerning how someone can add a comment to Cyrsti's Condo through my email...cyrstih@yahoo.com: 

"Cyrsti, I noticed that your blog only accepts comments for those people who have a Google account. I don't like giving Google more information about me-perhaps some others feel the same way. I can tell you that even responding "anonymously" requires commenters to jump through some hoops-you have to turn off cross-site blocking, shut you device off and on and then submit your comment. 

All this to say I would like to comment on your blog--like today--that does say it all!"

Thanks Susan for the message. Perhaps one of the other regulars has a better answer to your problem than I would have. Because naturally I don't have any control over Google. 

However, I do welcome any messages from my email and even my Facebook account.  In the meantime, I will check my comment settings to see if I can do anything as I value your input.

However, I think I may have found something in the settings which may have solved the problem.