The Remainder of the Vacation

 

Hemingway House,
Key West

My wife Liz and I's vacation was wrapped up when my daughter came down from Ohio to Atlanta to pick us up.

We were desperate because we could not find a car to rent anywhere for a one-way trip. We tried four or five of the major leasing agencies with no luck. All of them wanted us to bring the car back to their store after we were done, which naturally did us no good. At this point, my daughter stepped in, took a day off of work and was on the road within hours to pick us up.

The trip from her home in suburban Dayton, Ohio to where we were in Atlanta was a six-and-a-half-hour trip one way. So, it was no small undertaking. Needless to say, the least we could do was pay for her motel room the night before we made the return trip, and the gas needed for the journey.

The main benefit to me, other than being able to return home was I was surrounded by the two most fierce gender allies of my transgender womanhood. I could relax, knowing they would lead the way in case I encountered any gender bigots or transphobes as we traveled through the deep south. Of particular need was access to women's restroom since I was prescribed my Spironolactone again to help reduce the increased swelling in both of my ankles. If you are not aware, Spiro is a diuretic which is a water pill which is also used to decrease testosterone in the body. Since my testosterone levels had been near zero for years, I quit taking the medication. As soon as I started the meds again, very quickly, restrooms became my best friend. 

As luck or experience would have it, I did not have any problems with restrooms at all. Especially, on the trip back when I was wearing a face mask to protect as much as possible, those around me from the dreaded Covid virus. I had forgotten how wearing a mask, precluded almost anyone attacking my authentic self. 

I was fortunate I received the Covid booster when I did, so I caught a lesser level of the disease which could have been very bad for me at my age of seventy-five.  As it is now, I am just now regaining my strength, and my congestion is beginning to lessen. 

Even with all the struggle, I am glad I went along on the trip to the Florida Keys, especially Key West. It was all I had imagined and so much more. It was a very diverse and welcoming place I will never forget. I just wish I had not worried so much about the trip beforehand.   

The Ultimate Gender Challenge?

 

Image from Alexander Simonsen
on UnSplash

As I was in an ambulance on the way to a strange hospital in suburban Atlanta, I was so far out of it that I did not much care about being mis-gendered. I just wanted to feel better. 

All started out well as the EMS ambulance drivers referred to me without fail as Mz. Hart or Jessie. At least their kindness made me feel as if everything would indeed turn out to be OK. Then I thought how being gendered at a medical center has to be unique transgender experience. When you have to face strangers as your most fragile self. 

For a while, I was secure in the fact I would make it through the rank-and-file medical personnel accepted me as a female patient. Until I came to the most intimate point of my admission process. It was the time I needed to strip naked and fitted for an ubiquitous hospital robe. It was then when I was fitted for one of those contraptions to enable me not to wet the bed. It turned out, initially I was given a female version then asked if I wanted a male one which fit me better later on. At that point, it was obvious to me, I was confusing a portion of my nurses and that was where my wife Liz came in. Whenever a nurse refereed to me as he, Liz would promptly correct them. 

Overall, my hospital experience went as well as could be expected. I had reached the point of no return since I had never pursued any sort of gender realignment surgeries for any number of reasons. Including my lack of financial opportunities as well as not having good enough insurance to even think about any major operations. By this time, age had set in, as well as a fairly comfortable lifestyle with a family who accepted my transgender womanhood. Plus, I always had an aversion to pain I could not overcome so I did not even pursue any beard removal work. My lazy way out worked well with close shaves over the years along with the effects of gender affirming hormones, until it didn't. Which deep down I knew I would have to face someday. 

Well, the time was upon me last week during my hospital stay when I was too weak to get out of bed for several days so I could shave. When I was finally released to be discharged by the doctor in charge of my care, the first thing I did was closely shave and apply some light foundation as I brushed out my hair. Needless to say, I could not wait to put my hospital experience behind me. In all fairness, nearly all the hospital staff was nice to us and were intrigued by the fact Liz and I were stuck in Georgia after our bus had to leave us behind. I think they were behind me regaining my strength so I could. 

One way or another, it was an extreme gender learning experience.  

Sisters on Vacation?

 

Liz. Outside of Harpoon Harry's
in Key West.

The first inclination I was being accepted as my authentic feminine self on my vacation came when a few of the other women on the trip began to casually talk to my wife Liz and me. 

Since most women are curious by nature, they started the conversation by asking if we were sisters, which was music to my ears. It was especially meaningful because the bus was heavily populated by farmers from Southeast Indiana. Not known as one of the more liberal places to come from. The cute part came when Liz said we were not sisters but in fact were married. Without fail, the reaction was aloud surprised "Oh!". On a couple occasions Liz had to tell them we were wife and wife. 

Surprisingly to me, the overall reaction was either positive or at the least non-committal. The only half negative reaction I received was from one man and his wife who we ate dinner with one night. Both of them chatted freely with Liz while mostly ignoring me. I got over it easily and even used the women's room after dinner with no problems.

I was very fortunate the entire trip, especially during my time in the Georgia hospital, Liz led the way telling repeatedly everyone my true pronouns. For the most part, on the bus I did not need the help and especially in Key West. I can't say enough about the good time I had there. To start with, of course it is an incredibly diverse place. We were pre-booked on the Conch Train which toured all the sites which helped with my lack of mobility. Included was the Earnest Heminway House which Liz wanted to visit. 

Of course, being the huge Jimmy Buffett fan I always was, we had to visit the Buffett store to add to my t-shirt collection. If you notice to the middle left of the image, you will see one of the handles of the wheeled walker I needed to get around. Sure, it was exhausting but worth it.

Sadly, all the good times which come marked the end of our adventure because little did, I know Covid was waiting on our doorstep to make the rest of our trip a real challenge.