I Served

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 23, 2019 at 3:25 PM

"As one who narrowly missed being drafted in the 1970 lottery (somehow bypassing me, with a 122, on the way to a final 125 for that year), I seriously considered the possibility of outing myself if called. I still don't know if doing so would have been cause to be unfit for military service (I mean, it wasn't as if I had a bone spur!), but I was happy that I didn't have to find out.

Instead of living with only the shame and guilt that was my gender dysphoria, though, I added to it a guilt that I had escaped the draft for any reason. Years later, when I spoke of my guilt for not "doing my duty" to my infantry veteran brother-in-law, he told me that there was nothing for me to feel guilty about. This is the same man who did a 180 in his attitude after I came out, by the way. He died, a few years ago, of a cancer that the doctors suspected to be a result of his exposure to agent orange.

I have removed myself from any guilt for both my gender identity and escaping the draft. It has been replaced with an admiration for all those who are living their authentic (gender) lives, and those who have served our military. A special blessing for those who do both!

Whether or not my gender dysphoria would have dismissed me in 1970, it's interesting that the military, in 2019, definitely would. Of course, "don't ask/don't tell" works just as it did before."

Little did I know all the turmoil leading up to being drafted would pay so many dividends down the road. The biggest one of course was my daughter, as I met her mother (a WAC) in the Army. And farther down the road, I have taken advantage of educational assistance to earn another college degree plus I have utilized much needed VA health care for nearly eight years now. 

Yes, my major battle too was with my MtF gender dysphoria which I tried to cover through self medication. All of which is a trade I would have gladly made then, if i had only known.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother in law, I had several friends who were never the same after returning from Vietnam. Plus one who never returned at all.

Another consideration many people don't think about is the percentage of transgender troops who serve firmly in the closet.  It turns out even I ended up knowing another trans person indirectly when I served.  It's a tragedy now more transgender women and men have the potential to be turned away  from the military.

Especially at the direction of a draft dodger who didn't serve at all.

No Surprise

The Supreme Court decision to uphold resident rump's ban on transgender troops came as no real surprise.

After all, rump and his minions have had the chance to appoint different conservative leaning judges recently. 

Not to be too negative with this last circumstance, the whole matter seems to open up a whole new fight for transgender rights in this country.

Of course, also, the whole matter is still being mulled around in the lower courts but the fact remains this ruling could open the flood gates at the Supreme Court which goes against LGBT rights in this country. Wait till the courts come after all those smug cis gay men.

Probably, what is most disconcerting to me are the number of transgender women I know (some of which are even vets) who still support rump. Perhaps I can understand the number of cross dressers who are, because they probably figure they don't have a dog in the hunt anyhow.

Finally, I feel sorry for the transgender troops who are serving our country now in these times of uncertainty. They have been sold out by their country.

TGIF?

In yesterday's Cyrsti's Condo post concerning what was coming up socially this week, I totally forgot about Friday.

It is Liz's semi-formal martial arts banquet. Basically, I plan on wearing the same outfit I wore to the transgender-cross dresser Christmas party. My red sequined sleeveless top and a pair of silky/slinky black slacks. It should work well with my black flats.

The banquet itself is a mixed bag of good and less than good for me. Nearly everyone who goes gets an award of some sort (which is fine) except quite a few spouses like me.

As we roll through the names, I plan on having a cup of coffee or two to stay in the game!

The best thing about this year is, I am much more confident of myself and really love my new hair which combines to make the whole evening more pleasurable

The picture is from the Christmas Party. This time I plan wearing a "restraining" garment underneath the top to smooth out the whole look. Or, hide the fact I have not lost the "holiday" weight I gained. Of course the hair will be different and the breasts are all mine. Thanks HRT!


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