It's Father;s Day

Father's Day means many different things to most of us. For some, it brings back memories of our own father's, living or passed on. This is far from a scientific survey but I think for the most part, fathers of transgender women were emotionally distant from their children. My Dad was an excellent provider but was an emotional rock. He rarely let anyone into his inner self. Then again, he was a survivor of the Great Depression and World War II.

Also, you have those of us who have children of our own. Unfortunately, too many of us are disowned by our children. A true shame, the off spring never took the chance to learn the true selves of their father.

My daughter accepts me totally and many times I think I am one of the most blessed people in the world.

Early in my Mtf transgender transition process, we came to several mutual decisions including how she and my three grand kids would refer to me. My dead name went away and my new name was accepted without question. Also we solved the complex question concerning me becoming a "grand parent" not a grand dad. My daughter and I are cool with her referring to me as "Dad" in private and "Parent" in public.

I hope, as I do every year here in Cyrsti's Condo, this Father's Day finds you safely in touch with your family, or have reached out to a new one in the LGBTQ community.

Another Look.

Perhaps you may have missed it but along the way here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the TLC, television show "Lost in Transition." Also, you may remember, one of the couples live in Washington State and went on their anniversary to Seattle, where blog regular Connie lives. During the episode the transgender woman was made fun of and mis-gendered in a nail salon.  It turns out, Connie specifically knows the area and even the salon:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJune 15, 2018 at 2:37 PM

"OK, I finally recorded and watched the third episode - the one you are referring to here. I was really only curious about the couple from my neck of the woods, only to find them visiting the very place that I work five days a week! If you watch them walking around the Seattle waterfront, and down the pier, you can see some of the beautiful hanging flower baskets that I tend to. Had they filmed earlier in the day, I may have been on the show, as well!

I found it of interest that they visited that particular nail salon, as I walk by it a couple of times a day. I have been on the search for a new salon since my old manicurist retired last year, and I was considering trying this salon. Was it a coincidence that I was never getting a good vibe looking into the windows as I walked by? After seeing this episode, I guess I was right in not going in. Being outed by another customer is one thing, but I hate doing business with someone who misgenders me. To be fair, though, I think that the giggles were dubbed in, and did not come from anyone in the salon.

The cynical side of me (OK, the largest part of me) was disturbed by everyone in this show - the transgender women, their spouses, and the rather judgmental looks by the others who had just been informed of the transitions. As I have learned the value of "practice, practice, practice" from athletics and music, I don't understand how one can just decide to do, or be, something, and then expect others to be accepting. Of course, my perfectionist personality was responsible for about fifteen years of delay in my own transition. There may be as many right ways to transition as there are those transitioning, but there are plenty of wrong ways to do it, as well. I think that all of the people in this show would do well to read your blog before going any further. But, then, this show was filmed last year, so that advice is probably too late."

I agree with you on almost all you wrote. In all fairness to the producers of this show, they may have found they had waded into a subject with an immense expanse of material. Plus they are saddled with having to make ratings.

Again and again I would warn anyone about just deciding to announce they are transitioning without doing quite a bit of in depth research. Which, for the most part, does not include watching a television show on the subject.

Thanks for the comment and reference to the blog! 

Dammit!

As my hair appointment grows ever closer and the hotter it gets around here, the more I am thinking about asking my stylist to thin out my hair a little more than I originally thought.

I still know I want her to trim my bangs, so they are actually functional. You can see in this picture from the Cincinnati VA LGBT Pride day, what I mean about my hair and no bangs.  As far as the color goes, Liz is going to help me color it before I go for my appointment.





Coming up on the Pre- Fourth of July weekend,  two parties are coming up we have been invited to, so I definitely want to look my best. My "Stars and Stripes top arrived and it fits, so I know what I have to wear. I haven't seen these friends for awhile, so I think my look may work well! At the least, I can give it my best shot and maybe even get my nails done too.