Putting Your Best Foot Forward

Stana from the Femulate blog recently wrote an interesting and extremely thought provoking post about transgender women who complain about being laughed at in public.

She (Stana) placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of the trans person trying unsuccessfully to present in their desired gender. While some of that is unfair given the extremely un-level playing field we play with as far as looks are concerned, much of it is true.

To start with, I think presentation and/or passing are wrong terms. Better yet would be "blending." Let me give you an example. At the huge grocery store we shop at, I have seen a trans woman or cross dresser outfitted in a denim mini skirt in winter and on the other end of the spectrum, one dressed to the"nines" in heels and hose. Both stuck out like sore thumbs and set off my "trans-dar"immediately.

I think some just say what the hell with their appearance and I agree with Stana, shouldn't complain too much when they get busted. I used to write about the amount of emphasis I put in to skin care and weight loss as I transitioned.

No one should argue how much work it takes to undertake a Mtf gender transition and how most of us have had to grow a tough skin along the way.

While it is true the great majority of us are not and will never be blessed with Stana's looks, we have to fall back on what cis-women do...work on our positives.

Beware of the mirror lying to you and don't be afraid of going back to the drawing board! Confidence breeds success and specifically the cis women in public will know it.

In Good Company

Both Pat and Connie commented on recent blog posts concerning the seeming "normalcy" of being transgender within the general public.

Of course, much of that has to do with where you live. I have written many times, I live close to the "demarcation" point of overall acceptance where I live on the East side of Cincinnati. Head east into the next neighboring county and you find hotbeds of Evangelical Trumpers waiting to condemn.

It speaks volumes though, to the amount of people anymore who really don't care or pay attention to the average transgender person on the street.

For those of us who do, Liz and I have seen at least five trans men and women working in the area where we live over the past several months. As Pat has noted many times here in Cyrsti's Condo, familiarity breeds knowledge with most transgender women and men. Sometimes it even goes as far as celebrity status.

I have a very close friend (going back many years) who has invited Liz and I to her fall "bon-fire" party in a couple of weeks. She is a great example of acceptance which I appreciate mightily. We are going to really try to make the hour and a half trip north to the party to see her and her husband and perhaps meet some new friends.

New friends mean a wider circle of people (mostly religious) who can say they (at the least) have met a trans person. They find I have had all my shots and don't bite. Plus I will have a chance to see a great friend again!

Yes, normalcy and/or ordinary is good when you are LGBT, sometimes though it is hard to accept it when you experience it.

An Ordinary Transgender Life?

If you are not aware, Connie has been around since the inception of Cyrsti's Condo, some seven years ago and in fact, urged me to write a blog. So, she is in a great spot to send in this comment:

"Your last two posts show your trans life to be extraordinarily ordinary. That's great! We'll always be trans women, but day to day living should not have to be centered on the "trans" part of it. It's a long way to have come since those days when being trans was almost an obsession, don't you think?"

I do think you are right and in some senses, can't believe it is true!

An example was this weekend when Liz and I went to one of a zillion fall festivals happening around here and "happened" to see at least two other transgender persons, one woman...one man. 

It was a great sign that "ordinary" is good!!!!

Thanks Connie.