If I Knew Then...

Often I get asked what I did or what I would change to get to this point in my life and I have a few easy answers which were damn hard to learn!

First of all Mtf gender transitioning to me was not being brave. Embarking on the transgender process was increasing clear to me was one I needed desperately to make it through this world alive. I had to make a change. One suicide attempt was enough.

As far as the mechanics of just living in a feminine world, the complexities were enormous. I found the society of women to be as complex as I thought it would be and it did not take me long to experience first hand the effects of say feminine passive aggression among others.

Then of course there were the problems I still face such as presenting to the best of my ability. I had to learn that more make up was not necessarily the right way to go and how to dress to blend. As I grew my own hair, then all of the sudden I faced another set of challenges. For the first time (since I wasn't wearing wigs) I couldn't easily see the back of my head and had to rely on mirrors to judge how the hair on the back side of my head looked.

When the effects of HRT began to set in, a whole different set of opportunities set in such as emotions etc. On the positive side I began the exciting breast development and skin softening which of course accompanied the process of just somehow feeling different.

Regrets? A double edged sword. Karma giveth and taketh away. On one side I wish I would have started this journey in earnest earlier. But then again I wouldn't give up so many of the fond guy memories I made including the best of all-my daughter.

So, there you go, a very short version of fifty plus years of discovery for me. Starting cross dressing and ending as the proud transgender woman I am today has taken its exciting and then again scary turns for me. I tend to be thinking about all of this more as I pass through the one year mark of legally changing my gender.

The trip is certainly not for the faint of heart, but then again, only your heart can tell you to do it.

Cyrsti's Condo Monday Morning Edition

Greetings and welcome into another Cyrsti's Condo Monday morning edition. It's chilly here in Southwestern Ohio, but so far we have missed most of the snow just North of us. Let's grab a steamy "cup o Joe" and get started.

Page One: The Week that Was-or Wasn't: Nothing too amazing to report in my life. Of course the post election news continues to sizzle and I try not to be too paranoid what it means to the LGBT community moving forward. It's tough though with some of the appointee's being announced. Already some of the reforms in neighboring states (Kentucky) are under attack with new bills expected to pass which would open the doors wide open again to LGBTQ discrimination. I guess if you are one of the transgender Trump voters...here you go. Discrimination on yourself.

Page Two: The Holidays: It doesn't seem possible but it has been close to a year now when I changed all my legal gender markers. Somehow, it is seemingly making Christmas a little brighter this year. Unfortunately, I know the Holidays are a rough time for many transgender women and men who have been disowned by their families.

My family split right down the middle of the acceptance road with a total breakdown of relations with my brother's family. I am fortunate though to have been totally accepted by my daughter's in laws and Liz's family. So, I know a little of both sides of the road-per norm.

Page Three: The Back Page: As I said, it's been pretty quiet around here. I don't know yet if I am going to the Cincinnati VA Women's Christmas Party this week because of car issues. But, I am going to try. I think I should still try. It is Wednesday. I also have my "Safe Space" meeting Friday I try to go to without fail. So, it will be a "social" week if I can pull it off.

In the meantime, my laptop battery is telling me it's time to go. I love you all and thanks for taking the time to stop past Cyrsti's Condo!

Jessie (My legal name.)

Stuff

Just to catch up on things I am not sure I passed along to you all, I received an invite to the Cincinnati Veterans Administration women's Christmas party coming up Wednesday. I have an outfit picked out which I believe is a little dressy without going too far.  The only problem is I have to go by myself because Liz has to work. I'm still a little new to the Cincinnati VA after transferring almost all of my care from the Dayton, Ohio center. The Dayton center is very diverse in it's treatment of the LGBTQ veterans. Of course It will remain to be seen if all of it continues under the new administration.

My fondest hope is I have the opportunity to possibly meet other transgender women vets while I am there!

Results of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey are going to be released sometime today. You can pick up a live stream account of it here.

I am sure most of the information will be predictable as far as employment/wages and education are concerned but it will be interesting to me to see if the number of those reporting went up.