JJ's Sunday Edition

Ker Plunk! Listen up, another J.J's Mother's Day Edition has hit your virtual front porch.

Weather report: Overcast and a bit chilly here in Southwestern Ohio, cup o joe weather to be certain! Grab a cup and lets get started.

Page One: the Week that Was or Wasn't: As the country continues to focus on North Carolina, I was focused on two trips to the VA and a medical procedure my partner Liz went through. All seem to be doing well, thanks!!!! 
Yesterday I already mentioned being seen by a transgender woman doctor which was different, exciting and inspiring. The other visit was pretty normal as I get.

Then, as I alluded to so briefly in the "Visit with the ' Family" post, (The family are LGBTQ community members,) it seemed the whole world had a need to know more about us or was one of us. My best example, as I was spending a whole day in a hospital waiting room, was the receptionist who finally couldn't stand it any more and asked softly was I trans? I said yes and proud of it, why? She said she had a friend who was in the closet and was considering what most of us go through, coming out and possibly wrecking her life or staying in and struggling.

She was a warm and caring person I wish I could have helped more, but told her what I could.

Page Two: Yesterdays Coffee: Opinion: It's Mother's Day, and regardless of all the cheap shots about being called a Mother in your life, our Mom's hold a significant spot in our hearts.
In my case, I took awhile to "forgive and forget" the mean old days when Mom said she would provide me the cash for "electro shock therapy" to rid myself of my gender confusion. Years after she passed though, I remembered it was probably a decade after that when we transgender women and men were removed from the the psychiatry "sick" lists. So she seriously thought she was doing me a favor. At any rate, I got the last laugh when I legally changed my middle name to hers.
So Mom, here's to you. In all the dark and bright days of my past, you were probably the only one who truly cared.

Page Three: Page One cont. Before I forget, Friday after I talked to the woman about her transgender friend, I ran into a young lesbian woman running a fast food restaurant where I stopped to get food I was sorry I paid for later and Liz's all night nurse was a gay man who used phrases like De-Nile" wasn't just a river in Egypt. I know I'm biased, but what a truly colorful world it is if people just look around.


Page Four: The Back Page: Well kids, it is time to frolic in the park before it rains again during our own personal monsoons. Thanks for joining us here at JJ's! Love you all!!!

Visits with the "Family"

Perhaps you have heard of the LGBTQ community (individuals) being called "The Family." During my seemingly huge leave of absence around here, I ran directly into my fair share and maybe some of yours too of family.

Beginning Thursday morning (I won't say bright) I had an another appointment with my VA therapist. For what ever reason she couldn't be there so I did a "walk in" which left me to the highest bidder. Or biggest loser. My appointment though was anything close to a loss when I quickly discovered I was talking to a real live transgender doctor at the VA. 

Of course I was geeking and trying to keep my mind on the subject of why I was there to start with-me and I never grow tired of talking on the subject.

Plus, part of the discussion just had to center on coming out stories and the world at large now for transgender women and transgender men.

Maybe I will have to look around a little closer the next time I am seeing a new Doc! 

Finding a Transgender Friendly Place Archive Post

May 2013: Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with  complex answers I can't even follow.

Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there."

I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!"

Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules:

One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.  The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place.  They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that!

Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant.  You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime.

Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points:

1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start.
2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation.  You will indeed make a good impression.
3.-Go Back.  Maybe not common sense but a good point.  If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations.
4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Last but certainly not least, rest room and dressing room usage.

Very iffy and very sensitive.  Too big of a subject to be covered here except to say I do have one definite standard. When I'm a great regular customer in the places I go-I can get my restroom privileges. Employees and managers get used to me using the women's room.  BUT any "civilian" (not an employee) can change that in an instant with a complaint.  The last thing I want to do is cause a scene. Years ago a male manager at one of my regular haunts revoked my rest room card.  I simply went up the street and established myself at a competitor.  About 6 months later, he got fired and a few of the employees who were still there came and invited me back. How nice was that?

Finally, YOU have the power to enable a place to become transgender friendly.  Just don't go dressing all crazy, acting like an idiot and being a poor citizen. You will just ruin it for all of us.