Up Date

Several of you have asked if I have heard or read any further information on the young pagan transgender woman in Akron, Ohio who was slain from her "demon's" by her father.  The reposts I have read still say (more or less) "Bri" was migrating back towards Brian during the last year.

My only "guess" is Bri leaned towards being gender fluid and was searching for gender roots.  Plus, as some of you may know, my partner Liz is a Wiccan (closely related to Pagan's in beliefs).  So, I know enough about it to be dangerous.  It's quite possible (like me) Bri was exploring a spirituality which is largely feminine based and similar to the ancient Native American cultures, acceptors of a Two Spirited person.

Now, since I'm guessing, Bri's hometown of Akron, Ohio is actually clear across the state from me and is yet another decimated old rust belt industrial city. I would think it would not be the ideal environment for a person with a crazy father- if you are searching for a gender identity.

Of course I have my biases and ideas-but that's all they are-unfortunately.

"Shades of L?"

Some time ago I found myself in a conversation with a generic about my sexuality.  She called me gay. I said I am not gay, I am trans.  She said didn't I say my partner was a lesbian. I said yes and she said-OK you are gay. The experience leads me to this discussion of how we- as transgender or cross dressers are accepted in the world and how (like it or not) we are all linked together.  Often, not under positive circumstances.

Like some others of you. I have been totally embarrassed by the actions of others in my so called community. To be truthful, fetish cross dressers. I only care about their lifestyles when it intrudes with mine.  One night in particular comes to mind when a certain group came in to a gay venue I was in and in effect trashed the women's room.  (The place had a sizeable lesbian presence that night.) Of course I distanced myself from them.

Switching gears a bit, I have always found connecting the dots between all the various gender and sexual spectrums of this is fascinating.  For example, take (again) the cross dressers who use dressing as a woman as an "excuse" to have sex with another man or transgender "admirers" who may feel the same.  Then if you begin to throw all the various "shades of L" in with generics-the fun really begins. 

First of all, those of us raised male simply (naturally) do not have a perception of what it is like to grow up generic and a lesbian one.  Why wouldn't it be a so called inclusive and increasingly enabled club similar to cis gay men?  Thus, transgender women have to get up to speed quickly to just be admitted to the club at all.  Plus, if you are a Mtf trans person and still prefer women sexually, you stand a better chance of being perceived as yet a bigger "wolf in sheep's clothing".  Some of you have mentioned the "Butch" lesbian community and my experiences have told me I don't even show up on their radar.  My one exception was a hundred years ago in a hard core butch bar. One of the regulars said she said I didn't look too bad and she should maybe "take me home with her." Lots of sexual tension after a free beer and that comment!

OK, I am tired of all these dots. Finally, I don't totally understand the reluctance to accept the trans women into the world of women at large.  Sure, most of us were raised male but have given up all of that perceived male privilege to enter a feminine world that half us are willing to kill ourselves to get to. Furthermore, we share the same nasty problems of male abuse as generics do-but worse not to mention the we just don't get paid less-we don't get paid at all.  

But, we are capable of adding a full rich spectrum of experience and knowledge to women everywhere.  We just have to quit being our own worst enemy and prove our worth to the feminine community as a whole.

Lesbian's, Trans Nazi's and Mick Dodge?

First of all, maybe you all are asking just who the hell is Mick Dodge?  Mick is yet another reality TV "star" who happens to come from Connie's "neck of the woods" in the Hoh Rainforest region of the Pacific Northwest. My question is how long has it been since Connie been hanging out in the "Hoe Forest" and could it be that Mick (below) is actually a pre transitioned version of Connie?



And, on we go with Connie's comments: (for all the fun I make of her- I agree with both!)

"Years ago, I was involved in a "discussion" with a Lesbian woman who, to put it more nicely, refuted the validity of my gender identity. She just couldn't come to grips with the gender/sex separation. Before it got too nasty, though, I told her, "Well, I guess that the difference between butch and bitch is "u" and "I". She laughed and bought me a drink!

On a side note, I admit to having avoided a certain group of (self proclaimed) cross dressers for quite some time. To (some of) them, I am a bitch because of that. Cyrsti, you may even put me into the TransNazi class for that. But, my avoidance is not because I consider myself to be superior in the "gender spectrum", rather, it is because I have a different identity of self that does not include what I perceive to be their exhibitionistic motivation for going out in public. I like to say that these people re-create themselves for the purpose of recreation. I had tried that for a short time, but I learned that it just didn't fit. This doesn't mean that I don't support and accept them any more or less than I do anyone within the LGBTQ community. For me, I had spent so many years struggling alone with my gender identity, and the more I've become self-assured, the more independent I've become. I don't think that I'm so different than many in this respect. Still, I believe the important thing is that we do respect each other as fellow human beings. Sometimes, though, the more narrowly we define ourselves, the more we distance ourselves. Or......maybe it's like a teenager who asks Mom to drop him off a block ahead of school - the fear of embarrassment does not diminish the love, though"

More to come! This is a huge topic.