Good Question!

I ran across this post on a site called "Slate".  It's near and dear to me because as most of you know, my partner Liz identifies as a staunch lesbian.  So, more often or not I am in the company of women, straight or gay.  Of all the groups I deal with though, lesbians are the most likely one I will get at the least given the cold shoulder to or at the worst-flat out discriminated against. The problem to me is I am not the enemy to cis-lesbians-the same as I told the teen therapist (who happened to be a Christian) on the radio.  Look, I know not everyone has to accept or like me but finding out I'm not alone (as always) makes me feel a bit better. Read on:

 "In theory, our multifaceted, multilettered queer community is all about alliance, solidarity, and mutual support. Though we’ve seen advances in areas like marriage equality and nondiscrimination ordinances, systematic oppression of LGBTQ individuals continues in the form of disparate treatment in health care, employment, criminal justice, and public accommodations such as bathrooms and similar sex-segregated spaces. With so much to fight against outside our coalition, divisions within it have largely gone unchecked, with destructive rifts continuing to grow. One of the widest of these rifts exists between the L’s and T’s, particularly between cisgender lesbians and trans women."

If you have observed or dealt with the cis lesbian community at all, this is a wonderful article which goes into the misconceptions both sides have about each other and is worth the read.

I will leave you with this positive excerpt:

"There will always be differences in the experiences of cisgendered women and trans ones, masculine people and feminine ones, and between each and every unique individual. Already, there are signs that the divide between cis lesbians and trans women is growing smaller, as more and more queer women’s groups are extending explicit welcomes to trans women, women’s colleges are opening admissions to trans women, and more trans women are adding their voices to feminist campaigns. True, our differences can lead to misunderstandings and tensions, but the diversity that comes with difference can also be a source of great strength if we are willing to allow ourselves to learn from one another and support each other’s individuality. "

Vanessa Vitiello Urquhart is a freelance writer who draws the web comic Tiny Butch Adventures.

Stealth, Activism and the Grandkids?

How's that for a post heading?  First of all, here is my definition of "stealth" :

1. You are "able" to.  that means more than mere appearance.
2. You do have a level of passing privilege, attitude, confidence-whatever.
3. You live, understand and embrace your new life.

I used to feel two things about stealth. Number one, it terribly hurt the knowledge and advancement of the transgender community during my generation. And, two I could never even be in a situation to go stealth. Well, it seems these days, stealth could be a possibility because of the effects of HRT and the relationship/social settings I have found myself in.  As I have written about recently, I am not going to out myself but won't hide from who I am.  After all, being trans is just one small facet of my personality.  But, none of what I just wrote will ever stop me from being a vocal example of change for the transgender community. Being an "activist" however is a highly subjective term and often in the mind of the beholder.

"And the Grandkids?" Weather permitting, the big sit down "coming out" breakfast with my three grand kids is tomorrow (Monday).  Two have "known" but have never met the real me out of male drag and one (the youngest) hasn't really been included much.  They range in age from seven to thirteen and too smart for their own good.  (Aren't they all?)  My biggest job is not talking down or up to them!!!!

Don't Panic!

If any of you tried to get on the blog in the past half hour or so, it has asked you to redirect.  What happened was I purchased a domain name through Google and did what it asked and now I'm still trying to figure out all the extra BS that goes with it.  I changed it back!!!

Sorry