What is a Freak?

First let's find an "Official" definition:
freak ¹  (frk)

n.

1. A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular: A freak of nature produced the midsummer snow.

2. An abnormally formed organism, especially a person or animal regarded as a curiosity or monstrosity.

3. A sudden capricious turn of mind; a whim: "The freaks of the psyche can no more be explained than the Devil" (Maurice Collis).

4. Slang

a. A drug user or addict: a speed freak.

b. An eccentric or nonconformist person, especially a member of a counterculture.

c. An enthusiast: rock music freaks.

You all probably know where I'm going with all of this. For some reason lately I've been on a tangent with "F" words. Check my recent blog post!
I guess I was looking for some good in the definition of "freak". Being a child of the 60's, freak of course was not entirely a bad term.
Looking at the definition above from "The Free Dictionary" the slang "b" definition certainly refers to the 60's lifestyle.
The number two definition brings me to a couple other "F" words. These two are fear and faith.
Being viewed as a "curiosity" will be overcome by education from the transgendered world.
Being viewed as a "monstrosity" is completely ugly and brings back one story in particular. The Tennessee legislator who wants to "stomp a mud hole" in any trans woman or trans man who seemingly threatens him.
His story evokes fear in me and probably some of you too on some level.
The fear however is a powerful motivator for me. 
"Fear" leads me to my final "F" word-"fire".
Fear fires me up to have faith in myself. In my own small way, I'm trying to add my own definition  to the dictionary: 
When you call me a freak, I do operate in a gender flux situation which could in turn confuse or educate you.
Just don't be the monstrosity when you find out who I am. My faith will overcome your fear.

Holding Penalty-Fifteen Yards

I had to make a Super Bowl reference on the day of the big game.
First of all, the ditz that I am scheduled a colonoscopy the day after the game.
My Super Bowl menu was then set. Chicken Broth, yucky medicine and water.  For those of you who have been through them, you know I'm watching the game from the toilet.
Definitely not the most fun and glamorous evening I had planned but then again much better than colon cancer.
As with everything, there are bright spots. I had been gaining weight with the hormones and spending too much time writing-so! Why not start the diet the hard way!
On top of all of this, I've become impatient with my perceived lack of progress. Today at least until the next hot flash or twinge in my breasts.
While I'm on the topic, calling them breasts is so formal. Sure I have heard numerous genetic women call them breasts, boobs, boobies and of course "the girls".
I like the girls!
Maybe when I get to the official "jiggle" point with my breasts, maybe I'll will get a bottle of champagne and rechristen them "The Girls!".

Rocking the "F" Word!

What's worse, being called the "T' word (Tranny) or the "F" word (Faggot)?
I just wondered because not to long ago I think I heard someone call me that behind my back.
Actually the "F" word is a real warning sign for me.
Tranny is a word of ignorance to me unless some one in the transgendered community uses it. The public has not yet been conditioned yet to "gender" slur words.
The "F" word is a hate term to me. It is no different than using the "N" word with Black Americans.
The word also is a violent word to me. When I hear it directed at me or others, I'm automatically on guard and watching my back.
I equate the process with all the transgender violence we read about.
The only fortunate part of this process is that I haven't seen or heard it much in my life.
The sad part is I could be an exception.