It's Just NOT about me!

In my forced absence from the blog, I had plenty of time to think about past ideas and expereinces of mine that may be useful. For some reason I had a chance meeting with a woman several months ago which was so forceful I probably missed the forest for the trees.
She was tall and beautiful, and the last seat at the bar just happened to be beside her and her friends were on the other side.
In a very short period of time she turned and used the typical female opening to a conversation by commenting on my purse. How nice and where did I get it.  Interestingly enough, she said very quickly I didn't need to be nervous. The statement surprised me. Sure the place I was in isn't my favorite place to go but I'm nomally recieved well enough. I guess I was showing nerves subconciously but then again I normally am nervous talking to people I really don't know.
I knew of course she was attempting to make me feel more at ease talking to her but then took the whole idea further. She was also talking about all the people who took the time to stare on my way in.
I'm paraphrasing here but what she said in essence was she was sick and tired of being stared at too by a bunch of unsophisticated idiots. Just because she was 5'11 and had big breasts and was a former Penthouse girl she was sick and tired of people staring and she knew how I felt being stared at too!
Deep down inside I was thinking if I had only a part of the reason she was being stared at for I would be happy.
On a larger scale she is right. I have experienced the men who never see my face only my chest...even with their wife standing next to them. I have experienced the invasion of a woman's personal space (also part of our conversation). None of it is right, but is an integral part of gender interaction where I live unfortunately.
As she left, my biggest lesson learned was "It's just not about me".
Trans woman or natural beauty, being looked at is just part of the game. Her insights just proved to me again how huge a part it is.

I Always Knew...

Out of the clear blue sky the other day I began to think of how "the other half" lives. I don't mean the rich folk across town. I mean the great majority of the population that lives a life never questioning their birth gender.
Quickly I realized the idea was as foreign to me as the way I live is to them.
I cannot begin to think of how it would have been to have never questioned my male gender.
At that very point I started to have a deeper respect for my friends who know and respect me for what I am.
How completely foreign it is to them that a person would question one of the basics of the human experience - gender. Not sex, gender. Not gay or straight but male or female.
I have written many times how I would not wish this gender journey on anyone. On ocasion though I secretly feel a life in one gender maybe rather boring!

She's Back!

Well finally I persuaded my Internet provider to put me in line for a technician to come to my house. What I mean "in line" I mean it took them a week and a half to get here. Really?
That's the bad news. The good news is he installed a brand new line almost directly to my computer which isn't the easiest thing to do because the house I live in is a brick monster built in the 1850's.
So now at least I'm faster! (I know some of you are thinking of the old cheap and easy line here too!)
At any rate, I'm overjoyed to be back and have missed all of you!
I'm flowing over with ideas of new posts and will put them together soon!
In the meantime, my first appointment with a medical doctor to discuss hormones is tomorrow. Very excited!
More to come!!!!!!!!!!